Friendship is Card Games: Pony Life, Week 13 · 1:12pm Dec 20th, 2020
I had hoped to close out Pony Life as the last FiCG of the year, a symbol of moving past all the crap it’s thrown at us.
The fact that the last part of Zecora’s comic story still isn’t out yet is the most 2020 way 2020 could have responded to this plan.
The Rarity Report
Oh! Speaking of zebras. Wasn’t expecting to see any in Pony Life, but I’m certainly not complaining. The full-color cutie mark’s a bit off-putting, but at least he doesn’t look like he escaped from a Lisa Frank binder.
I can get behind Applejack being uncomfortable in front of a camera. I’m not sure why, but it feels right. Maybe the extra layer of distance between her and the folks watching at home. Fluttershy, meanwhile, either remembered her previous characterization or is putting up a facade to keep the public from realizing the dark truths that lie behind the mask. Even odds there.
And, of course, Rarity takes over the entire presentation. Step back and let the face of the party do their job, folks. It’s easier for everyone.
Ah. I was wondering why everypony was competing. Looks like Dash was so excited about the event, she signed up all her friends whether they like it or not.
Also, it’s interesting to see how much more literally theatrical this Rarity is than the FiM iteration. I suppose it’s easier to fit stories of dramaturgy into five minutes than corpro-artistic fashion drama.
“Back to you, Karen.”
Oh wow, it’s one of my least favorite fanfic tropes making an appearance in something official: Using names from our world in an equine one. Hopefully Karen is a donkey.
I stand corrected. Rarity was the only one conscripted into the events—surprising that Fluttershy signed up willingly—and Dash was just trying to get her involved.
“Although I did once attend a basketball.”
This may be one of the most Rarity sentences in all of Pony Life.
I like the term “indoor ponies.” Because ponies aren’t enough like cats.
Heh. Not the first mention of curling in G4.X. Not even the second.
Wait, there’s a debate event? I didn’t realize they were going for a truly classical Olympiad. Though I suppose all the competitors are naked…
Also, that is a very specific stamp. It calls out the event by name and everything.
I do love the chandelier gag. Rarity is far too fabulous for a single lightbulb when inspiration strikes. (There’s is the question of what it’s hanging from, but the answer is clearly “the same unseen overhanging structure that Spider-Man aims for when web-swinging.”)
Huh. You know, this Vinyl may be the best match for my “built-in Auto-Tune” headcanon. From the sound of it, this one has integrated subwoofers.
“The DJ doesn’t speak. Allow me.”
Interesting language. “Doesn’t” rather than “can’t.” What brought on this apparent vow of silence?
That poor stallion. He has no idea how to handle this situation.
And Karen is in fact a pony. 
Sigh.
Finn Tastic never stopped being a thing.
The Great Divide
So… does no one have a problem with these six just lying back in the stadium proper?
“I don’t know if you noticed, but I’m not the sportiest of ponies, and even I’m having a great time.”
… Wow. I don’t think I’ve seen canon established and contradicted inside of five minutes before.
So, if Dash’s favorite part of the event has been doing stuff with her friends, how does that distinguish it from everyday life? You know it’s bad when Twilight Sparkle is worried that someone’s overdosing on friendship.
Oh hey, an actual clipshow of earlier Pony Life moments. I wasn’t expecting that. (Well, except the bit with the giant pretzel.)
… I’m sorry, were there not predetermined teams for this high-profile sporting event?
So, given the competitors, there’s a rather glaring issue. With two pegasi, three unicorns, an alicorn, and five earth ponies, there’s only enough for three actual buckball teams. Unless there are some inexplicable alicorns I haven’t noticed. That seems to be a theme.
Also, I’m not sure who’s more out of place, Dishwater Slog or the alternative ponies. It’s a mainstream competition of excellence. What are any of these ponies doing here?
There is a simple solution: Refuse to play on the grounds that this was not communicated at any earlier point in the proceedings. Of course, then they’ll have no flight-capable ponies and the girls probably won’t want to ruin the event for everypony just because they didn’t get what they want. They’re better than that… and it’s terrible publicity besides.
Dash. He’s been saying “Count off” the entire time.
Wait, if the teams aren’t formed yet, then how are huddles allotted?
Wait further. Why are ponies paired off? We saw a brief glimpse of buckball earlier, but that had an alicorn on each side for reasons unknown. This sport is designed for a team of three. How does this even begin to work? Heck, how did the counting off work? They only went up to two. How did that even result in six teams?
Yes, I’m overthinking this to an insane degree, but it makes. No. Sense.
Honestly, the worst part of this Bulk Biceps design is the six-pack. Horse muscles do not work that way.
Dropping out is still an option, girls. The stakes literally could not be lower. I honestly can’t believe they’re trying to play this as a cliffhanger. Still, at least we’re technically getting one more eleven-minute episode. That format is where Pony Life shines.
The Great Collide
I know he’s speaking figuratively, but it is very tempting to take Bulk calling himself “the spirit of competition” literally.
It took me a replay before I understood what Pinkie was saying. At first, I heard “Steve vs. Steve.” I’m just not used to thinking of ponies as steeds. After all, who’s riding them?
… Okay, I’m even more confused. It certainly looks like there are two teams of six going by the huddles, but the closing moments of “The Great Divide” put a lot of emphasis on pairs.
Oh, right, intimidating the ref into cooperating with a giant Fluttershy. Also technically an option they didn’t use.
I’m really not sure what species that skull is meant to be. It could be a young pony, but the beak-like mouth suggests something more chelonian, or possibly draconic.
Ah. We’re going with poles instead of basket-handlers. And removing the tribal restrictions on offense. And possibly doing away with defense altogether, or introducing more. This version of buckball bears as much resemblance to the one from Friendship is Magic as does, say, Ponyville. Why didn’t they just say so?
Deliberately puncturing the ball feels like a technical foul, or at least poor sportsponyship.
Telekinesis is the exact reason why unicorns aren’t allowed on offense in Apple rules hoofball. It trivializes the whole game.
Look, I might not be this much of a wet blanket if this weren’t being played as the climactic two-part season finale.
And we’ve left hoofball entirely. What even the crap.
Why did Potion Nova even come here if her work is that relentless?
Why is there honey on the track? Why are you buying clothes at the soup store!?
Ah. Dash planted it there. Who allowed that!?
I see we’re using “joust” in the “American Gladiators reference” sense.
Yeah, much like telekinesis trivializes buckball, flight renders the point of this event moot.
Wait, Fluttershy alters the size of her accessories as well? Wasn’t expecting that.
… Oh. That’s all three winged ponies out. I’d say flight isn’t allowed, but Dash clearly flew to lunge at Rarity, so… Yeah, I don’t even know.
Okay, the silhouetted choreography actually was pretty nice. Who knew earth ponies were Jedi?
“Being on different teams doesn’t mean you’re not friends.”
… Okay, near-complete absence of logic aside, can we make Congress watch this episode? Please?
I mean, I should’ve seen the tie coming, but somehow it still feels like a cop-out. And we don’t even get Midnight Sparkle out of it… though it’s hardly fair to compare this to Friendship Games.
Sportacular Spectacular Musical Musak-ular
I admit, I do enjoy seeing Rarity expel gems when startled.
Applejack complaining about getting up early? Not so much.
Going by Twilight’s expression, she completely forgot about Spike. And, to be fair, so did I.
Also, it is surreal to see Princess Celestia not in a royal box, to say nothing of her being the same size as everypony else. We never did see Luna, did we?
And two out of three Crusaders is always an odd sight. Where’s Scootaloo?
Also, shame on the writer for “My hoofness.”
Bulk being wiser and more verbose in this world is an odd change, but one I can get behind.
I have the distinct sense we wouldn’t like Pump Hamstrings when he’s angry.
“So… You’re in charge of the closing ceremonies! Good luck!”
I’d complain about this, but it’s really just par for the course with this whole event. Now, making the announcement moments before the ceremonies begin, that I can complain about.
Oh! Scootaloo’s in the mosh pit. I shouldn’t be surprised.
Also, I spotted one of the alicorns this time. Given Celestia’s size, I do have to consider a disturbing alternative to the “Chaos Pinkie as demiurge” hypothesis. This might actually take place before whatever cataclysmic event reduced the alicorn population to two young fillies, and reincarnation is not a subtle force in Equestria.
Screw it, we’ll do it live!
“’Cause friends will cheer you on/When you’re a tiny horse.”
Someone was waiting for this moment. I’m just not sure who.
The transition from one pony to the next is admittedly a nice bit of animation, though there’s something off-putting about Fluttershy’s mouth.
Reminding me that Best Pony exists in this world will only let me forgive so much, show.
Oh hey, Bubbles returned from his exile. Someone should do something about that.
The fact that a character rapping nearly brought the whole thing to a screeching halt demonstrates that this is not the worst song to come out of this franchise.
I admit, Dash airlifting the colt from “The Best of the Worst” does make for some nice bookends.
And AJ shuts down the season via remote. Works for me.
Rebecca Shoichet did act as Twilight’s singing voice. Between that and the recent Sunset toys, this bodes well for Bacon Horse in Season 2 of Pony Life.
In all… This certainly could’ve gone worse, but something about applying the fast and loose approach to a structured athletic competition really rubs me the wrong way. To say nothing of Rarity getting pressured into competing immediately after a short where she found her niche.
Pony Life as a whole is definitely an interesting experiment, but it never captures the same charm and intelligence as Friendship is Magic. I know it was never meant to, but it still compares poorly to its older sibling. Still, I can work with what I’m given:
Fabulous Orator 1W
Creature — Unicorn Artificer
Whenever a noncreature, nonland permanent enters the battlefield under your control, you gain 2 life.
“For my next piece, I wanted a graceful, gentle medium. Naturally, I went with darksteel.”
2/2
Rhythmic Trampoline 2W
Instant
Target creature gets +2/+2 and gains flying until end of turn.
Rebound (If you cast this spell from your hand, exile it as it resolves. At the beginning of your next upkeep, you may cast this card from exile without paying its mana cost.)
Staff Duelist 2W
Creature — Pony Monk
Whenever you cast a noncreature spell, tap up to one target creature.
You don’t have to achieve enlightenment to hit things with a stick, but it helps.
2/2
Assemble the Herd 3W
Sorcery
Create a 1/1 white Pony creature token for each creature you control.
Flashback 5WW (You may cast this spell from your graveyard for its flashback cost. Then exile it.)
No pony is ever truly alone.
Shrinking Violet 1U
Creature — Pegasus Citizen
Flying
When Shrinking Violet becomes the target of a spell or ability, return Shrinking Violet to its owner’s hand.
“Observing affects the observed, especially Fluttershy.”
—Twilight Sparkle, Bearer of Magic
2/2
Spell Puncture 1U
Instant
Counter target spell unless its controller pays 1. If you control a Unicorn, counter that spell unless its controller pays 4 instead.
A unicorn’s horn is the perfect shape for channeling arcane forces. It’s also quite sharp.
Security Shark 1UU
Creature — Shark Soldier
Flash
When Security Shark enters the battlefield, target blue creature gains hexproof until end of turn.
“Keep moving, pony. Mr. Tastic’s a busy dolphin.”
3/2
Arena Reporter 2U
Creature — Zebra Advisor
T: Each player on your team may draw a card, then each player who drew a card this way discards a card.
The fans at Valor’s Reach hunger for drama both on and off the field.
1/1
Breaking News 5UU
Instant
This spell costs 1 less to cast for each legendary creature and planeswalker on the battlefield.
Draw four cards.
“Could your favorite celebrity be from another universe? Find out tonight at eight.”
Emergency Huddle XUU
Sorcery
Assist (Another player can pay up to X of this spell’s cost. You choose the value of X.)
When you cast this spell, put X lore counters on it.
Starting with you, each player on your team may remove any number of lore counters from Emergency Huddle, then draw that many cards.
Fickle Cheerleader 2B
Creature — Pony Rogue
When Fickle Cheerleader enters the battlefield, each opponent may put a +1/+1 counter on a creature they control.
“If I can’t decide, why not cheer on every team?”
4/3
Broken Spirits 2BB
Sorcery
Each creature gets -1/-1 until end of turn for each creature card in its controller’s graveyard.
“Pattern recognition is a cruel mistress.”
—Twilight Sparkle, Bearer of Magic
Honey Runner 3B
Creature — Pegasus Rogue
Flying, lifelink, haste
The tradition dates back to the Three Tribes Era, when armored raiders harried earth pony beekeepers for a treasure more precious than gold.
2/2
Athletic Rivalry 1R
Sorcery
Target creature you control fights target creature you don’t control.
Flashback 4R
It’s hard to say who is more ferocious, the teams or their fans.
Sportacular Jouster 3R
Creature — Pony Warrior
Double strike
When Sportacular Jouster enters the battlefield, clash with an opponent. If you win, put a +1/+1 counter on Sportacular Jouster. (Each clashing player reveals the top card of their library, then puts that card on the top or bottom. A player wins if their card had a higher converted mana cost.)
2/1
Soul of Competition 5R
Creature — Spirit
Whenever you cast a Spirit or Arcane spell, you may have Soul of Competition fight target creature you don’t control.
In happier times, it presided over all manner of contests. During the Kami War, only duels to the death held its interest.
5/4
Divide and Conquer 6R
Sorcery
Undaunted (This spell costs 1 less to cast for each opponent.)
For each player other than target player, choose up to one target creature that player controls. Until your next turn, each other player gains control of the creature chosen for them, those creatures gain haste, and they attack their owner each combat if able. Untap those creatures.
Simper for Sympathy 1G
Instant
Target creature you control gains hexproof until end of turn. Put a +1/+1 counter on that creature for each spell and ability you don’t control that targets it.
“Always play to the crowd.”
—Rarity, Bearer of Generosity
Orchard Training 2G
Enchantment — Aura
Enchant creature
Enchanted creature gets +2/+2 and has vigilance and “T: Add G.”
Simply living her life was enough to push Applejack to her peak.
Gamma Courser 2GG
Creature — Pony Berserker
Gamma Courser enters the battlefield with a +1/+1 counter on it.
Whenever Gamma Courser is dealt damage, double the number of +1/+1 counters on it. (It must survive the damage to get the counters.)
2/2
“Shine Bright” 3G
Enchantment — Song
At the beginning of your upkeep, put a verse counter on “Shine Bright”.
G, Sacrifice “Shine Bright”: Create X 2/2 green Pony creature tokens, where X is the number of verse counters on “Shine Bright”.
Cheering Crowd 4G
Creature — Pony Band
Finale — Whenever you sacrifice a Song, put two +1/+1 counters on Cheering Crowd.
A thousand voices raised together form an instrument in their own right.
4/4
Peak Physique 4G
Sorcery
Put X +1/+1 counters on target creature, where X is the greatest power among creatures you control.
“This is the ideal mare’s body. You may not like it, but this is what peak performance looks like.”
—Rarity, Bearer of Generosity
Bejeweled Microphone 3
Artifact
Fabulosity 3 (3: If this artifact isn’t fabulous, put a gem counter on it and it becomes fabulous.)
2, T: Copy target triggered ability you control. If Bejeweled Microphone is fabulous, copy that ability twice instead. You may choose new targets for the copies.
Cloud Gymnast (ur)(ur)
Creature — Pony Warrior
Cloud Gymnast has flying as long as it’s attacking.
“Go fast enough and nothing will notice you don’t have wings.”
2/1
Derek, Matt, and also Matt say hi. Maybe she used to hang out with them. A shame we didn't get a comment from you on the tongue joke, that certainly has implications.
FoME, we've been over this, we need to stop trying to inject Midnight everywhere we see a possibility for her to be injected in. Especially if it's with a Twilight that doesn't have Sci-Twi's emotional baggage.
We did see Nightmare Moon's helm. Maybe she'll show up in season 2?
It's kinda hard to make out unless someone points it out to you, but right after Rainbow says that you can hear Applejack shout "We're ponies!" in the background.
Legend has it FoME still awakens at night in a cold sweat after having nightmares of I'm on a Yacht. Personally I headcanon that as an in-universe music video they were forced to make and hate.
I all in all like Pony Life, for all the bad things about it. It's not unlike EQG in the way it's full of odd but enjoyable bits once you get into it, as well as bad parts you learn to look past or roll with. I'm personally looking forward to season 2.
And hey, it was still better than the MLP Movie.Huh. Between Moshpit Scootaloo and “attended a basketball,” this is making Pony Life sound more like a 50s or 80s B-movie rendition of G4 than the soulless abomination I’ve largely been assuming.
But then I’ve come to realize I am way too quick to prejudge animated shows sometimes. I should give PL a proper chance.
If it didn't have the characters we've adored for the last 10 years then Pony Life wouldn't be anything special. Not bad, but just another drop in the bucket of children's entertainment programs we've seen in this last decade.
But it does get a pass for being our last chance of seeing those very characters. The fact that it was pretty clever in how it used them in spite of also exaggerating them...fairly frequently I must admit was a welcome plus.
love that so much :)))
Karen is neither sufficiently french, nor sufficiently 19th century, to be a jenny's name.
Also, this whole sporting event sounds more and more like Olympic calvinball, the more of it you describe. Fascinating.
Silly FoME, most congresspeople these days aren't even friends with their own electorate, judging by how little they seem to actually care about alleviating the hardships of the working class.
But this isn't about politics, it's about cards. And for the record, while rare, putting counters on a spell that's on the stack does have precident with Lightning Storm.
Okay, I know no one will get the reference, but "Steed vs. Steed" makes me think of two ponies with suits, bowler hats and umbrellas having an extremely polite battle to the death.
As for Pony Life overall... well, before it aired, I wasn't especially interested, but was prepared to watch it if there was enough buzz about it and now... I'm not especially interested. It is good to know that it's not the train wreck that, let's face it, it easily could have been given the pedigree of cartoons like it, but still, I haven't heard or, from the clips I've watched, seen anything that'd make me particularly enticed. Ultimately, it seems... competent but disposable - far from unpleasant to watch for the most part, but unlikely to leave much of an impact. And that's fine - certainly gives it more reason to exist than some things - but I think I'll leave it for the moment.
Presumably while one of Applejack's Orange relatives watches from the sidelines, dressed in something far too tight and shiny.
5418850
Why do you think nobody would get the reference? The strip's been running since my dad was 8 years old in 1961 (and I read some of those early 60s issues from a box in my parents' basement as a kid). I'm pretty sure many — though probably not most — site readers are familiar with it.
I assume you're referring to Spy vs. Spy, although the hats there are much more like fedoras than bowlers.
5418865
Ponyville does have a canonical special agent living there undercover. So I'd imagine it as a dressed-up Sweetie Drops/Bon Bon, personally.
5419044
To be honest, I think you just proved it since, much as I adore Spy vs. Spy, that wasn't what I was referencing. Rather, I was referencing the old British show The Avengers (No, not that one, though oddly enough they did come out within a couple of years of each other) and the hero John Steed. Like I said, It's not a reference I expected anyone to recognize, just one that amused me.
5419125
Ah, that one is before my time, though my dad's told me about it.
5419151
Fair enough - I've only seen a few myself, I just know the character.
5418865
...
Holy... I only just got that - that is brilliant.
5418646
I thought "Karen" was a slight reference to the memes about "Karens" - seems like the kind of thing PL would do. She just needed to demand to speak to the manager. Tho admittedly just a name drop isn't much of a reference. Could be random, but why pick Karen as the name?
I'm still convinced "I'm on a Yacht" was a bone thrown to the fandom by the team to make it into an "I'm on a Boat" PMV since they couldn't do something like that officially. I don't think they even intended it to be good - it was just source material for what they really wanted! And the fandom obliged - just search YouTube for "the equestria girls are on a boat"or something like that. It's 100x better that way!
And I agree, PL is fine. I enjoy it as well. Just a way to have some harmless fun with the characters in some odd ways.
5418661
You know, that may be the best way to summarize Pony Life that I've ever seen.
5418676
Agreed on all counts. It definitely rides its predecessor's coattails, but it has its moments.
5418745
Huh. You know, if I'd looked at it from that angle, I probably would've enjoyed it a lot more.
5418752
It was either that or "Any number of target players draw X cards, divided as you choose," and I wasn't ready to break that ground.
5418646
See, they have an explicit reason for those names. Derek even acknowledge that their names are weird. Having a news anchor named Karen in Equestria makes as much sense as one named Fourth Estate in ours.
Not sure what you mean there. Double-checked the transcripts and there's nothing about tongues for this week. I take it I missed a visual gag?
I know, but it would've been nice to get something similarly epic.
I did notice that, and it did amuse me. Knowing Pony Life AJ, she was probably yelling at the lyricist rather than Dash.
Headcanon eagerly accepted.
Not really a fair comparison. If the movie had thirteen episodes' worth of runtime to work with, I imagine it could've gone a lot better.
5418850
Entirely reasonable stance to take.
For the record, I am aware of The Avengers (Not the Marvel Ones,) though I've never actually seen an episode.
5419161
I wasn't expecting a hot take on the level of "'I'm on a Yacht' was intended as a stealth batch of Lonely Island PMV fodder," but I'm grateful that you provided it.
5419225
Yes, but that's an out of universe reason. In universe, their existence establishes the potential for other weirdly named ponies. Which I don't think is something the show should lean too heavily on, but I'm not bothered by just one instance of it.
Not actually a visual one, and admittedly now I'm wondering if I'm the one who read into it wrong, but:
"I know what I can do at the Sportacular Spectacular! Use my strongest muscle of all!"
Given what she actually does after saying that, I'm pretty sure that's the joke they were going with.
I feel like an epic-scale finale might have been even more out of place in Pony Life than they arguably were in FiM.
Well, no, but neither is it fair to say the movie would have done better if it was a series instead. It was a movie, it should have been good at being that. I was saying that I think Pony Life is a better series than the MLP Movie is good as a movie. Though honestly, I'd also pick a binge-watch of the former over another viewing of the latter. They both have their flaws and they both have their qualities, I just think in one of them the bad bits sadly outweigh the good ones.
Applejack enters the fencing competition. After showing up with posts and barbed wire, she realizes she may have misunderstood the concept.
With a title like The Great Divide and being about buckball, I was expecting them to be forced into two separate teams as well.
Speaking of Potion Nova, The Great Collide , and over-analyzing: when Nova makes the comment about potions, Buttershy reacts in surprise. More specifically, she seems to know about the potions, and their mysteriously appearing in their cabinet. Except Buttershy doesn't go to Sugarcube Corner. She hangs out at Sugar Packet Place. So, does that mean she drops off potions there as well? Are there other places she does this at as well?
5449412
if I had to guess, Buttershy follows Pinkie on Instagraze.