Friendship is Card Games and Witchcraft: Dragone Baby Gone · 12:48pm Feb 14th, 2021
Happy Valentine’s Day! I’d love to discuss the IDW Cheesepie story, but the second half isn’t out yet. As such, we turn to a far more twisted form of love…
Ah, back when they had the guts to show Fluttershy feeding animals other animals. None of this vegan snake cookie malarkey…
Sorry, that still bothers me.
“Pavlov Bunny.” This raises a number of unpleasant questions, not least what he’s been conditioned to do.
Of course, those questions pale in comparison to the ones raised by the Bunny Fire. i’m sorry, “innocent friendship bonfire.” Which Fluttershy builds on a regular basis.
This is interesting. I legitimately can’t tell if Applejack is asking why a non-baby dragon is outside of its cave or its cage. Important distinction.
Also, Lee’s ghost again. I don’t think I ever realized they were trying to make that into a catchphrase.
Yeah, not sure I buy the special encoded message from Celestia that only her student, the mare behind the Waffle Bounce House Incident, can read. I mean, Twilight may sincerely believe that, but I doubt Celestia actually sent anything.
Ah yes, the theme of swapping Dash and Applejack’s Elements. There was an argument for it in Season 1.
I have to appreciate how one of Pinkie’s listed skills is facades. Says a lot. As does the fact that even she, like everypony else, dislikes Spike. Poor guy.
Meanwhile, Rarity is explicitly the Bearer of Fabulosity, and Fluttershy Deception. Because this is a silly and disturbing universe.
And Twilight? Twilight is explicitly named “Princess Sparkle” and allegedly bears the Element of Leadership. Also, one of her skills is writing fan fiction. Yeah, unreliable narrator definitely applies, and we’re looking right at her.
Oh goodness, I’d forgotten about the Celestia-scale Twilicorn. 
This entire abridged series is one big Cassandric prophecy. Sherclop tried to warn us.
A nearsighted Rainbow Dash would explain a lot of those crashes…
‘You’ve killed hordes of dragons before!”
“Only a dozen.”
Wow. Wow. I don’t have anything to add to that.
And continuity with Spike falling from the top of the library in the last episode.
A reminder that ponies are descendants of Skyrim horses, able to climb inclines due to bugs in recognizing the shift in the Z-axis.
Abbalanches are serious business. You’ve got to be a dancing queen to dodge all that debris.
“You fight demons all the time!”
Horrific Smooze cult aside, this Fluttershy is apparently a Baneslayer Angel.
Well, if we go by Pokémon logic, of course Fluttershy won’t be the same species as her father.
“I have a great relationship with both of my parents because they love me!”
Okay, so the prophecies weren’t always completely accurate.
So, this dragon is an expert roboticist. Go figure. Also, African ants in the tundra. It’s possible that Fluttershy’s embellishing a little.
“All of us have some depth to our characters.”
“I don’t.”
Thank you for your frank contribution, Dash. This really is why you bear Honesty Loyalty.
And we get Twilight’s real motivation: She wants to impress Celestia by straight icing a mother-flamer. Also, she’s framed Luna Molestia in the past, which raises a number of questions. Some of which will actually get answered!
“You may know me by my Gaea name, Celestia 2!”
I’m not entirely sure what this means, and I’m happier not knowing.
Ah. It was “cage.” Yikes of significant magnitude.
Oof. The earth pony discrimination is all too real.
“Are you still made because I burned your velveteen rabbit… in a fire? Because that was also part of the test.”
Good try, old man. Not good enough.
And a blood-drenched waterslide. Sounds like something you’d get in a Noita playthrough.
Meanwhile, Celestia will likely never know about the horrific murder performed in her name thanks to that ball.
Surreal, hilariously terrible, and subtly horrifying. Yup, it’s Friendship is Witchcraft alright. And we know who to ultimately blame for the coming Smoozepocalypse. But for now, let’s see what I can do with these concepts.
Curse of Weak Grip 1W
Enchantment — Aura Curse
Enchant player
At the beginning of enchanted player’s upkeep, unattach all Equipment that player controls.
In the land of the hoofed, the limp-wristed dragon still can’t carry much.
Loyal Herdmate 3W
Creature — Pony Citizen
Hoofcraft — When Loyal Herdmate enters the battlefield, if you control three or more Ponies, Pegasi, and/or Unicorns, return target permanent card with converted mana cost 2 or less from your graveyard to the battlefield.
3/3
Flapping Disaster 3WW
Creature — Pegasus
Flying
At the beginning of your upkeep, you may sacrifice Flapping Disaster. When you do, destroy all nonland permanents.
Any pony is a catastrophe waiting to happen. Some are just more obvious than others.
2/3
Strawpony Decoy UU
Artifact Creature — Pony Scarecrow
Flash
When Strawpony Decoy enters the battlefield, you may change a target of target spell or ability to Strawpony Decoy.
Because thinking tactically is harder than blasting the thing in the corner of your eye.
1/1
Dubious Orders 1U
Sorcery
Goad target creature. (Until your next turn, that creature attacks each combat if able and attacks a player other than you if able.)
Draw a card.
“We’re on a mission from Celestia.”
—Twilight Sparkle
Mirage Scarf 1U
Enchantment — Aura
Enchant permanent you control
2: Enchanted permanent becomes a copy of target nonplaneswalker permanent until end of turn.
To most, adaptive camouflage would be a horrific weapon. To Rarity, it’s a versatile accessory.
Omen of Friendship 2U
Enchantment
Flash
When Omen of Friendship enters the battlefield, create a token that’s a copy of target creature you control.
2U, Sacrifice Omen of Friendship: Scry 2.
“My time will come, when irrational hatred is but a footnote.”
Distressing Backstory 1B
Sorcery
Search your library for a card with the same name as a card in your graveyard, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle your library.
Experience can be as good a teacher as any demon.
Razorplume Skulker 1B
Creature — Pegasus Assassin
Flying, deathtouch
Morph 2BB (You may cast this card face down as a 2/2 creature for 3. Turn it face up any time for its morph cost.)
When Razorplume Skulker is turned face up, it gains first strike until end of turn.
Beware the quiet ones.
1/1
Ponyville Euthanist 3B
Creature — Pony Assassin
Flash
When Ponyville Euthanist enters the battlefield, destroy target creature if it’s a Dragon or was dealt damage this turn.
“If the alternative is being a dragon, any death is merciful.”
3/2
Spawn of Smooze 4B
Creature — Demon Ooze
Menace
Devour 2 (As this enters the battlefield, you may sacrifice any number of creatures. This creature enters the battlefield with twice that many +1/+1 counters on it.)
The Unstoppable waits in its prison, biding time and building forces.
2/2
Horrific Slaughter 4BB
Sorcery
Destroy target creature. Its controller loses 3 life and you gain 3 life.
For a few moments, the waterfalls of Canterlot had a bloody counterpart.
Warren Pyre 1R
Enchantment
R, Sacrifice a creature or land: Warren Pyre deals 1 damage to any target. If the sacrificed permanent was green or a Forest, Warren Pyre deals 2 damage to that target instead.
Flutttershy’s childhood trauma echoes in her present-day atrocities.
Alpine Survivalist 2R
Snow Creature — Pegasus Warrior
Flying, trample
Cumulative upkeep S (At the beginning of your upkeep, put an age counter on this permanent, then sacrifice it unless you pay its upkeep cost for each age counter on it. S can be paid with one mana from a snow source.)
4/3
Rainbow Kick 2R
Sorcery
Converge — Target creature you control gets +X/+0 until end of turn, where X is the number of colors of mana spent to cast this spell. It fights target creature you don’t control.
Rainbow Dash’s methods are simple, but effective.
Caged Dragon 2RR
Creature — Dragon
Defender
1R: Caged Dragon deals 1 damage to any target. If this is the third time this ability has resolved this turn, transform Caged Dragon.
Ponies imprison, mock, and scorn dragons…
4/4
Vengeful Hellkite
(R) Creature — Dragon
Flying, trample
Whenever Vengeful Hellkite attacks, it deals 1 damage to defending player and each creature and planeswalker that player controls.
… yet they’re always surprised when the dragons seek revenge.
6/6
Bounce House 3R
Enchantment
Whenever a player casts a spell, that player flips a coin. If they lose the flip, counter that spell unless that player has Bounce House deal damage to them equal to the spell’s converted mana cost.
Instant disaster, just add waffle irons.
Appling Hook 2G
Artifact — Equipment
Equipped creature gets +1/+1 and has provoke. (Whenever it attacks, you may have target creature defending player controls untap and block it if able.)
Whenever equipped creature deals damage to a creature, create a Food token. (It’s an artifact with “2, T, Sacrifice this artifact: You gain 3 life.”)
Equip 2
Dreamcatcher Spider 2G
Creature — Spider
Reach
Whenever an opponent casts a noncreature spell, put a +1/+1 counter on Dreamcatcher Spider.
Motes of inspiration stick to their webs like so many fireflies.
1/3
Tundra Ants 2GG
Snow Creature — Insect
1S: Create a 1/1 green snow Insect creature token.
No one’s sure what they eat, but there’s clearly enough to go around.
4/4
Apple Accents 3G
Enchantment — Aura
Enchant land
Whenever enchanted land is tapped for mana, its controller adds an additional G for each enchantment they control.
The Apple family is always at the forefront of avant-garde landscaping.
Unrelenting Pack 3(gp)
Artifact Creature — Wolf
((gp) can be paid with either G or 2 life.)
1(gp): Unrelenting Pack gains indestructible until end of turn. Tap it.
After the first few extinctions, Applejack admitted that introducing timberwolves to the Tangle wasn’t the best idea.
3/2
The Orphanage Song RWB
Enchantment — Song
At the beginning of your upkeep, put a verse counter on The Orphanage Song.
3, Sacrifice The Orphanage Song: Exile up to X target creature cards from your graveyard, where X is the number of verse counters on The Orphanage Song. For each card exiled this way, create a token that’s a copy of that card, except it’s 1/1 and has haste.
Flameblooded Pegasus 3RW
Creature — Pegasus Dragon
Flameblooded Pegasus enters the battlefield with your choice of two different counters from among flying, first strike, and trample.
Many draconic traits are recessive, but not all of them.
4/4
Reforge the Hoard XUR
Sorcery
As an additional cost to cast this spell, you may sacrifice any number of artifacts. This spell costs 1 less to cast for each artifact sacrificed this way and 1 less to cast for each other artifact you’ve sacrificed this turn.
Search your library for an artifact card with converted mana cost X or less, put it onto the battlefield, then shuffle your library.
The sequence at the beginning of the episode is the second time Fluttershy is associated with Hellfire. It's actually somewhat relevant given her relation to Pinkie.
Sherclop actually had another small video about that Element switching joke.
Shame we didn't get any comment on the Elmer's bath joke and Rarity crushing the contact lenses, then again it's impossible to keep track of everything the series throws at you with how fast it goes.
Actually, I'm pretty sure it's 'Gaia', as in Gaia Online. Yeah, that's a thing that exists and was slightly more relevant ten years ago when this abridged was made, and also it fits this version of Twilight. Also, Twilight Acorna Sparkle, that's another reference I had to Google the first time around.
In panels at cons, Sherclop have mentioned a couple of times that given how Fluttershy's father apparently can build robots, they considered making him the one behind you-know-who, but never really went anywhere with that idea. It would admittedly mess with one popular fan theory about her and Rarity. I might talk about it when we get to episode 5.
By the way you talk about something in particular in these blogs, I think you're either misremembering or haven't seen some elements of the later episodes. It'll actually be pretty fun to see your reactions when you get there, if I'm right.
Que?
Stupid Complicated Game Alert: Curse of Weak Grip's flavor text amuses me because there's no rule to stop a supposedly mundane pony from wielding a dozen different swords simultaneously.
Stupid Complicated Game Alert: Mirage Scarf specifies "nonplaneswalker" because a planeswalker with no loyalty counters will die as a state-based action and becoming a copy won't give them any. It also won't remove them, though, and as long as they aren't currently a planeswalker damage won't either. This is especially hilarious when your opponent tries to attack them, because those creatures are now attacking absolutely nothing.
Stupid Complicated Game Alert: Despite the rest of the card, Appling Hook's Food-producing ability doesn't actually care how the creature is dealing damage; it'll even trigger if the creature deals damage to itself, because that's a thing that can happen.
Inside Baseball Alert: Unrelenting Pack is an homage FoME now-officially-canceled crossover with New Phyrexia. I suppose we can expect more of those in FiCG every now and then, not that he hadn't done so in these before.
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"She Talks to Angel," 4'50" to 5". Fluttershy reports that Pinkie has somehow created a cookie-shaped treat for snakes that is explicitly vegan but also presumably nutritionally appropriate for an obligate carnivore. This is either (a) earth pony magic or (b) Pinkie lying through her teeth.
I, too, miss when Fluttershy was the canon pony with an unsentimental view of the Circle of Life!
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I'll chose to believe this is just Fluttershy lying to herself to maintain her mental worldview that no cute animals ever die.
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Also possible. Again, I miss Old Fluttershy.
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I choose to believe it's a subtle sign of Fluttershy overworking herself as the sanctuary's population began to outstrip one mare's ability to look after it, no matter how capable. Though that doesn't excuse the script writer.
That is some grade A wordplay there.
The joke about Fluttershy taking an Elmer's bath is topical this week.
... is there a Jeskai eggs deck? Because if so, Reforge the Hoard is pretty absurd in it
This got me laughing, and made me click the video. I'd actually never seen it before. Then of course I discover it contains an actual Abbalanche, which was exactly what it sounded like.
Thank you for brightening my day.
I'm not sure if it's a good sign that I saw the new Strixhaven preview of the long-awaited enemy color Commands and my only real thought after noting that that's what they are and starting to read the cards is "they're deprecating CMC?"