It felt so real I thought that it seriously happened

I almost freaked out when I thought this was real, and it doesn't relent in the slightest.

I had this really odd dream that I've had multiple times before, but this one I experienced not only a matter of hours ago, was the most real-feeling of the lot. It's always the same: either a return or embarking flight on a plane to France (where I went in 2017 with my college performing arts group and it's been my favourite foreign country since) and the plane always crashes, it's only a matter of when. Sometimes, it can be during the flight and it'll erupt into a fireball or it's during the landing sequence when it goes off-axis and a wing tears out from the body and the landing gear gets mangled beneath it, fuel leaks everywhere and boom, dead.

For this odd reason I can't explain, I was at my house, apart from it looked so very different than it does in reality out front and inside. My dad was in there painting, like he does now and again throughout the year. I noticed we also had another dog who wasn't our current Siberian Husky. Instead, it was this smaller dog that I couldn't tell the breed of, but it was a puppy and it kept getting purple paint on the gray-ish coloured walls. Not sure why those two colours would be near each other, but there you go. Dream logic.

I was talking to my dad and the subject was brought up why I wasn't in France like I was supposed to be. I said I missed it (I think). I happened to be with a friend from my school who I hung around with frequently, and he wasn't with me at the time. So, he must have been on the plane or near to boarding it but narrowly missing it. Then my dad told me that the plane had exploded in mid-air at about 10pm.

That meant that if what he said is true and my friend was on it, he was dead also. Along with a lot of my other friends I met in school.

I couldn't really believe it. Planes honestly do terrify me for the reason I see them as flying petrol bombs and because I don't like being off the ground. There's nowhere to run if anything bad happens and that's basically a death warrant handed to you right there. After watching Final Destination as a kid and having horrid memories of that scene where the plane burned, tore apart and incinerated everybody aboard before exploding in pieces of shrapnel, I haven't wanted to be anywhere near a plane ever.

I've only ever been on a plane twice in my life, for an embarking and return flight from Tenerife in Spain. I also never wanted to go because there was another place I wanted to be that meant more to me, and I missed that because everybody ignored my wishes and did what they wanted instead, leaving me no choice. Still very unhappy and unforgiving about that, but it is what it is. I hate planes. Not only that, but the airport we were at happened to be one of site the biggest disasters ever in aviation history where it was foggy, nobody could see each other on the runway and one plane had taxied itself into the middle without being able to realise the incoming danger that was another plane. The other plane tried to lift off when it realised it was going to hit and it did manage to fly, only that the back end struck the taxied plane vertically, completely cutting it in half and killing everybody in both planes instantly.

Anywho, that's aside from the point here. I don't get why this dream took place. I'll never get on a plane again, but I have so many dreams where I do. It's always on a flight towards France, too. One time, the plane exploded in mid-air. Another, we were trying to land and had to make an emergency landing for some reading and a wing tore off right before it plummeted into the sea and I nearly drowned.

So, yeah...plenty of reason to be afraid. I seriously thought it was real when it was happening inside of my head. I can't seem to get rid of it. It drives me mental knowing that each time I sleep I'll probably have to be forced to endure it all over again. That whole conversation with my dad, my friend supposedly dying in an airplane explosion...that really made it seem so real.

I need to get out of here. Ugh...whoever invented planes, what in the name of bollocks were you thinking?