Friendship is Card Games: My Little Pony: The Manga, Ch. 3-3 & 3-4 · 12:00pm Apr 4th, 2021
So. IDW themselves said the annual would be out March 31st, but now it’s been delayed until some point this month.
Even Pony Life isn’t an option yet; there’s only about ten minutes worth of Season 2 available. That has some worrisome implications for my September schedule, but we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.
No, we’ll have to fall back on the manga much sooner than I expected. Ugh, I had this nice, neat rotating schedule. I should’ve known it was too good for this world. Too innocent, too pure.
All right, all right, That’s enough Sparklian mourning for a disrupted schedule. Let’s see what other corners of the ponyverse get explored today.
Chapter 3-3
Ah. Just as Fluttershy ended up in a personal nightmare of celebrity status, Rarity must deal with the knowledge that in this timeline, she is responsible for 80’s fashion. The horror! (Also, do you think zebra prints are offensive in Equestria?)
That said, the funny thing is that this isn’t the first time Rarity’s had to deal with that decade in the comics. And at least it isn’t the 70’s.
This really is a brilliant monkey’s paw scenario for Rarity. Everypony’s wearing clothes, yes, but the outfits are so hideous that she’d prefer if they didn’t. Also, one stallion has a cassette cutie mark, which acts as a nice reminder that the average Equestrian tech level is before this point.
This… I… There are no words. You need to see this for yourself. “Funky Fresh Apple Acres” raises so many questions. And the possibility of Applejack getting in a rap battle with the Flimflam brothers.
Ah, yes. Important point from the local Applejack. While the IDW Rarity saw these styles as retro, they’re more postmodern from a baseline pony’s perspective. As in literally after the modern era. (Though now we’re edging into just how long it took the Mane Six to adopt their post-timeskip looks, and that’s a yawning chasm of madness about which I’ve already gotten into one Discord argument, so we’re moving on.)
Given the greater similarities between this world and Rarity’s own Equestria, I do wonder whether the local Elements were used. And if so, what forms they took. Maybe glow bracelets?
There is a special kind of cognitive dissonance that comes from hearing Applejack say “bogus.”
Ah. Rarity isn’t just in the 80’s. She’s in an 80’s teen drama… though I can’t help but note that these particular stakes showed up in Legend of Everfree. Still, I do like the use of a new character for the greedy land developer rather than using Filthy Rich. Naming said character “Plot Device” is icing on the cake.
Also, naming his daughter “Sudden Twist” leads to the delightful mental image of her being this timeline’s Twist, as in Apple Bloom’s pre-Crusade friend.
There is the question of whether the Element of Generosity would survive the foal center getting demolished, but even if it did, Rarity would have to sift through the rubble to find it. Plus, it would mean at least four more days spent in this leg warmer-infested hellscape.
Nice touch with Rarity planning ahead for her counterpart’s return. No telling what changelings are like in this world; no need to make things awkward for the local her.
And Twilight’s an alicorn, which raises an enormous number of questions on its own.
Of course there’s a contest where the prize is just enough to buy back the beloved community symbol from the bank. That’s practically required by law in these circumstances. (See also “Dance Magic.”)
I have to appreciate how being the one nude mare in town is referred to as “look[ing] a little weird.”
And Pinkie’s just wearing her workout outfit, because of course she is.
Poor Rarity, trying to comprehend decades of stylistic development she wasn’t there for. Bad case of a strange mare in a strange land.
As for Pinkie’s prediciton, Rarity’s usual work would seem to qualify. I have it on good authority that gems are truly, truly, truly outrageous. And they have such great synergy with most outfits!
Given the stripes on Dash’s pants and her demand for neon zebra print, I shudder to imagine what those things would like when colorized.
Heh. When in doubt, take what’s popular and turn it up to eleven. (It’s one more.)
I was not prepared for the shutter shades on Photo Finish.
A sudden twist from Sudden Twist? Now I’m wondering if her family got their fortune from the telegraph business.
I’m not sure what’s better here, Celestia’s outfit, the legal disclaimer in the page title, or the holy relics themselves.
I do love the idea of Rarity being a natural at Rubik’s cubes ancient holy relics.
Oh. The mosaic was of Luna. I have to wonder how Celestia would’ve reacted if she’d heard about that getting demolished… and where Luna is at the moment. Again, Twilight is an alicorn.
And perfect timing from the local Rarity.
Chapter 3-4
Twilight as Batman. Huh. Not the most intuitive association there. Are her parents dead? (And there are the issues that being an alicorn would bring to a secret identity…)
Darn it, Pinkie, don’t you know not to interrupt a brooding, heroic monologue.
Yeah, parallel timelines see a lot more of one another when comic book logic applies. And I do love Pinkie describing her Ponyville as having better lighting.
Heh. Somber Twilight raises a good point: Why does the future keep needing to call on the heroes of one specific time period?
(Also, Scootaloo traveling back in time to ward off an apocalypse. I feel like I’ve heard this one before…)
I’m going to assume that the alicorn’s climbing up a building with a rope because of the aforementioned secret identity concerns. it’s a lot easier to hide the wings than the horn.
Seriously, Somber Twilight effectively having a checklist for helping dimensionally displaced ponies quickly and efficiently is great on multiple levels.
I’m not sure what I like most about the Bad Apple Gang, Winona’s little mask or Granny Smith being in charge of demolitions.
“Applehijack.” Oof. And I thought the puns coming out of her mouth were bad.
Heh. And now that she’s captured, Granny’s fallen asleep. She’s getting too old for these midnight heists.
Okay, one, spikes don’t usually have edges. The whole point is, well, the point. Two, if the others can see the Spyke’s logo, does that mean Pinkie could see Somber Twilight’s in the first page?
Ah, classic lawful-chaotic divide, with a side of Batman refusing to accept his sidekick has grown up. No prizes for guessing who’s on which side.
I have a number of questions about that flaming chainsaw juggling accident, not least because it’s the closest we’ve come to identifying Spike’s biological parents.
Oh. Oh wow. Pinkie putting thoughts in their head by writing new narration boxes is a fantastic gag, especially given signs like “Remember Issue #348” and “I’m running out of crayons!” I wonder if Deadpool’s ever tried this.
Ah, and we get further payoff for something Sunset demonstrated in the first Equestria Girls movie. After all, taking an Element of Harmony to an alternate world jailbreaks it. It’ not clear if it works for anyone or just anyone who could have borne it, but an alternate Pinkie Pie definitely qualifies. And her using thaliamancy to turn pies into edible Smilex? All too feasible.
(That said, I do appreciate mainline-Pinkie noting the Elements’ vaguely defined capabilities. Best to leave that kind of thing to fan works.)
Silly Pink Piester. Of course she’ll be nearly immune to the magic of her own Element.
I quite like the Piester’s Gummy-shaped egg timer.
“Great Celestia!” raises a number of questions about the local Sunbutt. This is a comic book setting, after all. Goodness knows how many echelons of cosmic beings there are out there.
Oh dear, the supervillain inspired Pinkie. This won’t end well.
Pinkie’s plan may be insane, but I have to appreciate the sleight of hoof that slipped the Element of Laughter off of the Piester’s neck without ever touching the actual jewel.
Ha! It is a brilliant plan. Take the pie with her as Pinkie returns to her home timeline. And she even got the local Twilight and Spike to reconcile. Shame she couldn’t do anything about getting her local analogue to use her antics for good, but that’d take more than one chapter.
A delightful genre contrast this time around, with much fun to be had in both cases. Now, let’s see how I can translate them to collectible cardboard.
Arrogant Heiress 1W
Creature — Pony Citizen
Whenever a creature you control becomes the target of a spell or ability you don’t control, create a Treasure token. (It’s an artifact with “T, Sacrifice this artifact: Add one mana of any color.”)
“You’ll pay for that.”
2/2
Outrageous Ensemble 1W
Tribal Enchantment — Rigger Aura
Enchant creature
Enchanted creature gets +1/+1 for each different watermark among permanents you control.
Fabulosity 1W (1W: If this Aura isn’t fabulous, put a gem counter on it and it becomes fabulous.)
When Outrageous Ensemble becomes fabulous, it assembles a Contraption. (Put the top card of your Contraption deck face up onto one of your sprockets.)
Stylistic Fusion 2W
Sorcery
Choose target creature you control and any number of target Auras and/or Equipment. For each of those Auras and Equipment, create a token that’s a copy of it attached to that creature. Exile those tokens at the beginning of the next end step.
Foreclose 3W
Sorcery
For each opponent who controls more lands than you, gain control of target land that player controls. Those lands become Plains.
“We don’t want you to default on your loan, but we’ll still collect.”
—Moneybags, bank manager
Rise of Ponytron 2U
Enchantment — Saga
(As this Saga enters and after your draw step, add a lore counter. Sacrifice after III.)
I, II — Each player investigates.
III — Create a 0/0 colorless Construct artifact creature token, then put X +1/+1 counters on it, where X is the number of artifacts on the battlefield.
Generic Brand 2UU
Sorcery
Create a token that’s a copy of target permanent, except it isn’t legendary if the permanent is legendary.
“Any resemblance between Princess Purple™ and any ponies living or dead is purely coincidental.”
—Flam Flimflam
Perfect Timing 3U
Instant
Put target spell or nonland permanent on top of its owner’s library.
With coordination honed by countless surprise parties, Pinkie whisked the giant pie away from both city and worldline.
Lunar Mosaic 1B
Artifact
Whenever your life total changes, put a +1/+1 counter on Lunar Mosaic. (Damage causes loss of life.)
1, T, Pay 1 life: Add CB.
3B: Lunar Mosaic becomes a 0/0 artifact creature with alicorn until end of turn. (It’s a Pony Pegasus Unicorn.)
Intrusive Thoughts 2B
Sorcery
Kicker 3BB (You may pay an additional 3BB as you cast this spell.)
Target opponent reveals cards from the top of their library until they reveal a nonland card. If this spell was kicked, instead search that player’s library for a nonland card and reveal it. You may cast that card without paying its mana cost. Then that player shuffles.
Bad Apple Ringleader 3B
Creature — Pony Villain
Other Villains you control get +1/+0 and have menace.
Whenever a Villain you control deals combat damage to a player, you draw a card and lose 1 life.
The Bad Apple Gang treats grand larceny as a family bonding activity.
2/3
Sneering Entourage 3B
Creature — Pony Rogue
Menace
Extort (Whenever you cast a spell, you may pay (wb). If you do, each opponent loses 1 life and you gain that much life.)
Every queen bee needs her workers.
3/1
Getaway Drover 4B
Creature — Pony Villain
Spectacle 2B (You may cast this spell for its spectacle cost rather than its mana cost If an opponent lost life this turn.)
When Getaway Drover enters the battlefield, return target creature card from your graveyard to your hand.
Family means nopony gets left behind.
3/3
Bad Apple Heisthound 1R
Creature — Dog
Whenever Bad Apple Heisthound deals combat damage to a player, exile the top card of your library. You may play that card this turn.
There are no bad dogs, only dogs put to bad ends.
2/1
Scheduled for Demolition 1R
Enchantment — Aura
Enchant artifact or land
Vanishing 3 (This Aura enters the battlefield with three time counters on it. At the beginning of your upkeep, remove a time counter from it. When the last is removed, sacrifice it.)
When Scheduled for Demolition leaves the battlefield, enchanted permanent’s controller sacrifices it.
Timelost Charger 1RR
Artifact Creature — Pegasus Warrior
Flying, haste
Metalcraft — At the beginning of your end step, return Timelost Charger to its owner’s hand unless you control three or more artifacts.
Saving the future isn’t easy when it keeps calling you back.
3/1
Bomb Juggler 2R
Creature — Pony Artificer
When Bomb Juggler enters the battlefield, you may sacrifice an artifact. When you do, Bomb Juggler deals 3 damage to target creature you don’t control chosen at random, then repeat this process.
“Sorry, no encores.”
3/1
Flaming Chainsaw 2R
Artifact — Equipment
Equipped creature gets +1/+0 and has double strike and trample.
At end of combat, if equipped creature attacked or blocked this combat, flip a coin. If you lose the flip, equipped creature’s controller sacrifices it.
Equip 1R
Bank Robbery 3R
Instant
Creatures you control gain trample until end of turn. Whenever a creature you control deals combat damage to a player this turn, create a Treasure token.
“Reliable, profitable, and fun to boot.”
—Applehijack, Bad Apple ringleader
Filly Scouts 1G
Creature — Pony Scout Monger
2: Create a Food token. Any player may activate this ability. (A Food token is an artifact with “2, T, Sacrifice this artifact: You gain 3 life.”)
“Don’t worry, we always have more Skinny Mints.”
2/2
Unflappable Model 3G
Creature — Pony Citizen
Unflappable Model has ward X, where X is 1 plus the number of Auras attached to it. (Whenever this creature becomes the target of a spell or ability an opponent controls, counter it unless that player pays X.)
3/3
Sweet Potato Surprise 1
Artifact
2, T, Sacrifice Sweet Potato Surprise: Tap target creature. If U was spent to activate this ability, that creature doesn’t untap during its controller’s next untap step. If R was spent to activate this ability, Sweet Potato Surprise deals 2 damage to that creature. (Do both if UR was spent.)
Neon Spotlight
Artifact — Contraption
Whenever you crank Neon Spotlight, add C. If that mana is spent on a spell that targets a permanent you control, that spell can’t be countered.
Kind Rewinder WU
Creature — Pony Wizard
When Kind Rewinder enters the battlefield, return target creature to its owner’s hand. That player gains life equal to that creature’s mana value.
With the right spell, nostalgia can do more than chronomancy.
2/1
Dark Reflection 1UB
Sorcery
Create a token that’s a copy of target creature you don’t control unless that creature’s controller sacrifices it.
Those who cannot face their flaws are doomed to be destroyed by them.
Spike, Vigilante Whelp 1UR
Legendary Creature — Dragon Hero
Flying
Whenever a creature or planeswalker an opponent controls dies, if a source you controlled dealt noncombat damage to it this turn, draw a card.
“I keep this town clean. It keeps me sharp.”
2/2
The Pink Piester 1BR
Legendary Creature — Pony Villain
Lifelink, haste
Whenever a non-Villain source deals damage to an opponent, untap The Pink Piester.
T: The Pink Piester deals 1 damage to target creature or planeswalker.
“Let’s see some smiles!”
2/1
Electrothaumic Barrier 1RW
Creature — Wall
Defender, reach
Electrothaumic Barrier can block any number of creatures.
Whenever Electrothaumic Barrier blocks, it deals 1 damage to each creature it’s blocking.
Ponies take “do not enter” signs seriously.
0/4
Magus of the Box 2UR
Creature — Unicorn Wizard
At the beginning of each player’s draw step, that player puts the cards in their hand on the bottom of their library in any order, then draws that many cards.
The puzzle claims many in madness and more in obsession.
3/4
The Somber Twilight 3WB
Legendary Creature — Hero
Alicorn
Flying, menace
Whenever another nonland permanent enters the battlefield, its controller loses X life, where X is that permanent’s mana value minus the amount of mana spent to cast it.
4/3
Robot Apocalypse 3UUBB
Sorcery
Return all artifact creature cards from your graveyard to the battlefield tapped, then destroy all Humans.
The Somber Twilight’s last-second patch left Ponytron’s forces hunting for nonexistent victims.
Fortunately, given Tiny Pop's schedule, there'll be 60 minutes of Pony Life to work with come next card blog.
McPoodle writes some weird shit and I’m here for it.
Yep, public nudity may be unfashionable in this timeline but it's still not illegal.
Batman is famously prepared for everything.
Stupid Complicated Game Alert: Becoming (thing) removes everything else unless otherwise stated. Even if they were already Plains in addition to being other things, they'll still lose any other subtypes they may have and all abilities except the one inherent to being Plains.
Stupid Complicated Game Alert: The Construct token counts itself, and state-based actions aren't checked until after the ability is done resolving and has therefore given it the +1/+1 counter it needs to survive. (Inside Baseball Alert: Ultron has backups on backups so he isn't his body any more than you are your meat. And if you have a problem with that, then too bad because you and I may know that he's based on the thought patterns of a creator with a "Man" superhero name but I don't know whether the manga writer did and therefore can't pronoun the pony counterpart. It was Hank Pym in the original comics, but the MCU skipped straight to the second user of the Ant-Man name and therefore had to adapt)
Stupid Complicated Game Alert: Black can get death triggers with additional upside for way less than 4BB, but there are still circumstances where you might consider suiciding Lunar Mosaic by turning it into a creature between when it hits the battlefield and the first time your life total changes afterwards.
Inside Baseball Alert: Oh hey, a Monger. (It was a cycle, and the other four all picked up races in the Grand Creature Type Update but nobody could figure out what the heck Squallmonger actually was)
Inside Baseball Alert: Now that you mention it, Teferi is absolutely enough of a troll to invent the Rubik's Cube. (There's also the whole "Magus" thing from Time Spiral block, but trying to link a Gatherer search breaks this site's formatting and I've already talked about that before)
"Plot Device" sounds like an Equestrian adult film star.
Wonder if Somber Twilight has a Twicave where she keeps the Twimobile and Twicomputer and carrie's Twi shark repellant on her utility belt?
I absolutely adore these manga issues! They're a ton of fun. Sad there aren't plans for any more.
The manga keeps sounding wild and interesting based on what you come up with from it. Bat-Twi and Pie-Joker vibes pretty close to my wavelength, too...
5490037
Dagnabbit, that does sound like an “actor’s” name. Now I can’t get that out of my head.
These chapters were a lot of fun, weren't they? I loved Sudden Twist and her father Plot Device
I personally thought Pinkie's characterisation of the Elements' powers as "whatever the plot needs them to do" was a tiny bit on the nose, but the interactions between Somber Twilight, Spyke, Pinkie and the Piester were far too enjoyable to object to.
On the cards: Great fun bunch this time. I want to play The Pink Piester. I love the hilarious/sinister reinterpretation of the Lilo and Stitch quote on Getaway Drover
I also love that Scheduled for Demolition is (a more restrictive) Reality Acid but put into a colour that *ought* to get that effect.
I assume someone has already made the Ponyvillian Pony Villain joke somewhere?
Bizarrely the most broken card here might be the Filly Scouts, just because Krark-Clan Ironworks exists.