Sing of the Guildpact · 12:35pm Jun 10th, 2021
Appropos of nothing, I thought I'd throw together some songs that give a basic sense of each guild of Ravnica. There is tangential pony content, but this is mostly card game-related fun. Feel free to offer some suggestions in the comments, and bear in mind that this not meant to be taken especially seriously.
The Azorius Senate:
There really is no better way to show the Senate inaction (not a typo) than a bunch of bureaucratic Muppets.
The Orzhov Syndicate:
More sci-fi than Ravnica's industrio-Renaissance aesthetic, but a perfect representation of the Syndicate's haves, have-nots, and the stark divide between them.
House Dimir:
Oh, they're just the mailmen and librarians. They're almost cute at times, with their trenchcoats and "Nothing personnel, kid" swagger. How menacing could they be? It's not like they have agents everywhere.
The Izzet League:
Admittedly short on explosions, but this does capture the League's ideals brilliantly. And their tendency to forget that they're just supposed to run the city's utilities.
The Cult of Rakdos:
Welcome to the Dark Carnival. honk. HONK.
The Golgari Swarm:
I had not realized that the full Thriller video is a short film until looking it up, but "everyone is a zombie and they're disturbingly well-coordinated" very much fits the Swarm's aesthetics.
The Gruul Clans:
There's something appropriate in music that's centuries if not millennia old representing the Clans, to say nothing of the duality of aggression and chill vibes when not trying to restore the primeval Ravnica of old through property damage.
The Boros Legion:
I looked through shonen anime openings, but they weren't hot-blooded enough. Gloryhammer adequately captures the energy of the Legion.
The Selesnya Conclave:
I told you there'd be tangential pony content. Fluttershy does a fantastic job of representing the Conclave, including its unfortunate smothering tendencies.
The Simic Combine:
That four-letter alphabet spells out the vast majority of the Combine's methods. Building a better Ravnica one base pair at a time.
This is one of those sentences that causes a double-take from how unlikely it is. (WARNING: TVTROPES!) That aside, considering one of their most iconic/infamous cards...
Fnord
Ok, you get a massive +1 for knowing of Hootsforce
More seriously, I'd suggest "Act On Instinct" and "Target/Mechanical Man," both from 1995's Command & Conquer, for Gruul and Izzet, respectively.
Act on Instinct (remastered):
Target/Mechanical Man:
Of course, Izzet really has no shortage of suitable music. Anything played on tesla coils, for instance.
The Azorius Senate
Perfect!
The Orzhov Syndicate
Do you think they sing this in the Basilica?
House Dimir
The Izzet League
While I agree that it's got less explosions, it's really a beautiful song
The Cult of Rakdos
"Homestuck-fueled PTSD triggers"
The Golgari Swarm
Now I'm gonna envision the Swarm performing this dance routine and it's all because of you! XD
Also, from werewolves to zombies and Michael Jackson is somehow in two places at once. Also, the werewolf movie storyline was dumb: either he's a serial killer and that's his theme, or it's the poorest proposal planning in history.
Although, I DID appreciate the way the zombies rose from their graves: no melodramatic reaching hand, no stereotypical moaning, just the undead coming out to do their thing. Even the sounds they make were a nice change of pace: the moaning isn't exaggerated, but legit sounds like vocal chords that haven't worked in years are producing the only sounds they can. The one from the sewer was random, though, and then they all came busting through the wood, but I suppose the super strength still makes sense since all mental restrictions on the body are gone.
Is this where the concept of Inceptions came from, by any chance?
The Gruul Clans
I can get behind the concept, sure. I like tribal music. But this one sounds off to me, tbh, in regards to the Clans. I think it's because they dropped the old-fashioned chants for a banjo midway through.
The Boros Legion
I like the beat 
Thor meets Star Wars with submarine spaceships
The Selesnya Conclave
Fluttershy is the mascot of the Conclave at this point
The Simic Combine
And now, as for as my own spin on the Guild theme songs, I gotta go with joshscorcher's track. It's got four extras, but that's okay
yes
5533080
Thinking in fours is OKAY to you? By definition, he's omitting something!
5533188
Did I say something wrong?
????
5533191
Herald is noting (rather excessively) that the playlist is short one clan. Also all five shards if we want to capture every color trio.
5533206
Oooooooooooooooooh.
Hmmmm....yeah, that's true. Wonder when the other six will come out? 🤔
I'm a little surprised that I end up knowing some of these songs already.
Also: what the Gruul clans think they sound like: your song.
What everyone else thinks they sound like: this one.
No pirate theme, true, but even so, it fits their raiding and I'm pretty sure the accent's right too.
For Rakdos, eh, I guess this one's nice and circus-y. Not creepy enough, though.
For the Golgari, hmm, what would fit? What has that vibe of a dark and dingy surroundings, but also of life, of rebirth, of feeding forever and ever, even...
Close, but not foresty enough.
Hmm, close again, but not quite there.
Gonna have a think on that one, because it is my favorite colour pair. Much like the Corruption/Greed combo from Hecatomb in that regard
Edit: found the Golgari anthem, I think!
As an aside, "excessively" is a good summary of me in general.
Surely somebody in the past century has remixed "Entrance of the Gladiators" into something that sounds like it would be titled that?
And a separate comment for the Alara shards, just for good measure:
Jund:
Because dragons. By the way, the guy playing Hoagie is called Red Button. Why was there no pony called Red Button trying to make a profit off of Spike's nail clippings or something?
Naya:
Because hey, big stuff. Other option is Juggernaut March, but that's a little obvious. This for the Shrek-style movie set in Naya
Esper:
Well, kind of obvious, this one, no?
Bant: Imma cheat a little with this one and use something I guarantee most readers won't know. But have a listen. It's got a bit of the Medieval vibe in it, and it's from an adventure film from 1984. A historically mildly important film at that. Nominating this for the 'Exalted' vibe song.
Grixis:
A necromancer seeking his next source of vis. Shame you have to rid it of some context to work, but the same is true for the other options, so...
Oh sweet, you're a Stupendium fan?