About that birthday... · 3:00pm Jan 10th, 2022

There were so many things that I wasn't expecting. So many wonderful, amazing things.

And none of them would have happened if it wasn't for you guys.

As my last blog post implied, I really wasn't expecting anything. You guys didn't need to go out of your way to send me your happy birthday wishes, including those of you I haven't talked to in months. Two - two! of you guys didn't need to draw pictures for me, gratis. You didn't need to review one of my stories! And spending time with me, hanging out with me - none of you needed to do that at all.

And yet you did. You just...did, by yourselves. And I'm not quite sure if how I could articulate a response to that could accurately capture my feelings.

Because it wasn't just that I felt appreciated, or validated, or what have you. It's that you guys made me feel like I was someone you were happy to know - someone you went well out of your respective ways for to make me feel happy. It felt like I meant that much to you, and I definitely feel like the words I'm trying to use there aren't fully capturing what that means for me.

And I think, more than anything else, you made me feel like this was the sort of place I belonged. The community, the writing, the friends, all of it - you made me feel like I wasn't just an outsider looking in, but actually one of you. Like me being here isn't a mistake or a fluke, but...well, a natural part of fimfic and all the folks who use it.

I'm here. I belong here, and I will in the future. This is the right place for me to be. And feeling that, internalizing it...I feel a little at peace now. Like, whatever else I've done with my life, being here was absolutely, positively the right thing to do. The best possible place I could be.

Thank you, guys. Thank you for this, all of it. I'm happy beyond words.