Friendship is Card Games: Tell Your Tale, Pt. 4 · 11:23am Jul 3rd, 2022
We return once more to Maretime Bay. The shorts have been on a slow but steady upswing as the writers figure out the characters; let’s see if they can maintain that momentum.
It’s kind of funny to have a pony named Neptune when, according to the founding myth of Athens, Poseidon created the first horse in a bid for the city’s naming rights.
Also, pegasi clearly have an unfair advantage in competitive diving. You can tell Neptune used his wings for extra lift. I suppose if this is a pegasus-exclusive competition, it’s fair, but still.
“That’s how you make a splash in this competition! Go, Zephyr Heights!”
I’m not sure what bothers me more about Zipp’s comment. On the one hand, it’s clear that this is some kind of intermunicipal sporting event, so my concern about unfair advantages still applies. For another, don’t you want to minimize splashing in this event?
I’m not much of an engineer, but I can empathize with Izzy’s quest for the ideal washer. Also, ponies in safety goggles are adorable.
Thank you, Hitch. I’m glad somepony said something.
Izzy, it’s rude to cannibalize someone else’s stuff for parts. Especially if you can’t find the component you need and leave it disassembled. And this is apparently far from the first time she’s done this. Such are the perils of living with a mad scientist… which may well be every unicorn. I’d suggest teaching Izzy how to forge her own pieces rather than scavenge them, but I’m not sure I trust that mare around any fire, much less one hot enough to melt most metals.
Also, bit of chronological weirdness. Despite the earlier “Maretime Bay Day 2.0” taking place after Make Your Mark, this one’s explicitly happening before it. And, as we can see, very little of Argyle’s original lantern was used in Izzy’s version. Very much a Ship of Theseus situation there. (And now I’m wondering where the minotaurs went…)
Pipp holding a towel around herself as she comes out of the shower. I see pony modesty is an contradictory and unintuitive as ever.
… When did Izzy get a motor scooter? Did she build that?
That “too small” may be the most subtle adult joke we’ve gotten out of G5 thus far. Especially given the stallion’s face after he overhears Izzy.
Posey watching in horror as Izzy tries to tear off the Mane Melody sign only adds fuel to the fire of her later tribalistic resentment.
Also, we have confirmation that Izzy has the morality of the average Elder Scrolls player. Her getting crafting materials takes priority over anyone else’s claims of ownership.
Yeah, Izzy trying to mow down Posey with her inexplicabl scooter may also add to the poor mare’s later malice.
Ah yes, the off-camera teleport. Izzy is skilled indeed. Also horrifying.
No means no, Izzy.
Huh. When they said dumpster diving, they meant it.
This is admittedly a very catchy song. And there’s something ironic about them not recycling a previous number given the context.
So… did Izzy enchant that crystal earlier, or do they just do that? This only makes me more convinced that somepony seeded Bridlewood with crystals from the Empire.
This was certainly fun, but I hope somepony teaches Izzy how the whole world isn’t her personal hardware store.
Full disclosure, I actually watched this one when it aired given some of the shots I saw on Derpibooru. But that was two weeks ago, so I should be able to provide some relatively fresh takes.
Ah yes, the glowing cutie marks. What do they mean? Heck, what significance do cutie marks hold in this day and age? Sunny’s subconscious mind is approaching an important epiphany… but the magical reactions are enough to wake her up, interrupt the process… and coat the room with glitter. Huh.
“All this glitter is drying out my mane!”
At least it isn’t moist.
But yeah, as we’ve seen before, alicorn ascension comes with some growing pains. Especially when the extra parts are immaterial magical constructs. Given how we’ve seen a fully physical alicorn in this generation, Sunny appears to be… half-baked, so to speak. Unfinished. No wonder she can’t control her magic. It’s still a work in progress.
An orange pony getting mocked for tiny wings. That feels familiar. 
I do have to love Pipp quad-wielding mane care supplies. Taking full advantage of flight there.
Oof. Swing and a miss on the flowing, ethereal mane.
I have to ask where Zipp’s obstacle course is. Going by the spotlights and caution stripes, it may be in the Canterlogic exhibition hall, but the cobwebs lead to some curious questions there. Along with where she got that much bubbling green slime.
“Maybe if I add fire to the obstacle course!”
Zipp truly is Rainbow Dash’s successor.
“Everypony else seems to be growing so fast.”
Citation needed? Izzy just seems deep in the madness place. All she needs is a few Jagermonsters.
And there’s the key. Sunny followed Twilight’s path, turning friendship into tangible magic. Getting a grip on her abilities won’t come just because she wants them to stop bothering her, but on behalf of others. (This does raise questions about the other alicorn, but we’ll get to her in due time.)
Ooh, en medias res. Bold choice. Though I find myself wondering why Hitch’s sheriff sash shrank to fit. Also, very interesting to see the foals still have their cutie marks.
Heh. I do appreciate Sunny gravitating towards smoothies and writing in her journal. They’re still the same people, just, you know, infants.
Something, something, wrecking ball. Also, it’s at this moment that Pipp decided Zipp can be the one who continues the royal line.
“Cloudpuff! Help!”
What exactly do you expect the dog to do, Pipp?
Once more, we see the bizarre “foal and filly” thing. This cropped up a number of times in G4. Someone just doesn’t want to use the word colt. Maybe S&P is worried it comes to close to mentioning firearms.
Izzy’s composition is actually very good for that age.
Ah, the return of Zipp’s la Forge-grade visor. Metroid Prime logic at its finest: When in doubt, cycle through every visor you have until you find something. It doesn’t help here, but it’s a good thought.
It is fun to see Zipp try to investigate the problem into submission.
Yeah, when a face mask looks and smells more like queso, making a new one seems advisable. As opposed to adding your friend’s alicorn excretions. 
Pipp’s the kind of person who’d think Radithor was a legitimate health drink.
Good news: Foals love Zipp.
Bad news: That includes flavor.
And that’s how Pipp reinvented alchemy. I like her biochemical work acting as a counterpart to Zipp’s more physics-oriented focus.
(Some may complain about what was supposed to be highly advanced unicorn magic being recreated in beauty products. I’ll note that Zecora managed to do the same thing to Twilight in one of the G4 shorts… which also established alicorns producing magically volatile glitter. Huh.)
Nothing promotes the appearance of aging quite like… broccoli, lemon, and blueberries? Are they making make up or a smoothie?
Of course. The one goop the foals don’t want to play with is the one that will fix the problem.
The funny thing is that Zipp’s story—the parts we hear, anyway—could apply to Celestia and Luna just as much as her and Pipp. The two do work well together when they can look past each other’s differences, even if they won’t be guiding the heavens any time soon.
Oof. New magic does close out old market niches. Though I’d expect Dahlia would still have buyers among unicorns and pegasi. Heck, even Posey didn’t grow the same variety as the ones Dahlia’s offering. That “one of a kind” offer may be accurate.
Actually, this leads to an interesting question: Do ponies still consider flowers a foodstuff?
I do like how Sunny trying to think of a way to help Dahlia looks like she’s watching the logo.
Sunny’s definitely making progress on the whole “flight” thing.
This raises an interesting point: I don’t think we’ve seen Sunny actually use earth pony magic. Other than the video game, but I have no plans to review that.
To be fair to Dahlia, she’s showing incredible improvement in both speed and scale. The problem is that she’s expecting perfection. And it’s not like anypony knows how magical development is “supposed” to work, so why wouldn’t she?
Again, this whole conflict is weird. Either Dahlia should only have lost a third of her customer base, or her entire business model has been rendered obsolete. I don’t see how refining her own magic helps. Of course, expecting reasonable economics from My Little Pony rarely ends well. And when they are accurate, the ocean tends to die.
Echoes of Sunset Shimmer here. Dahlia needs to embrace the magic. Also, mindset is clearly very important for earth pony magic. I’ll take whatever details I can get there.
Also, funny how the dance seems to come naturally to her once she gets in the right headspace.
Oh dear. Sunny and Dahlia have both forgotten the most important lesson: When and how not to use magic.
The song pales in comparison to the earlier stuff, sadly.
Calling it “neigh fever” in-universe makes little to no sense.
Oh, screw you, Posey. Ponies might actually like you if you stopped throwing them under every passing bus.
Huh. Magical mucus. You don’t see that every day. Though it does lead to a truly unique product. (There’s a comment here about the necessity of monetizing one’s own suffering, but now we’re really going outside my usual scope.)
Seems like Pipp’s gone from “Pipp Pipp hooray” to “squeak you later” as a sign-off. I like it; puts more focus on the fans.
Oh dear. There’s some unresolved issues if the colors run like that. Poor Dahlia. Still, definitely a step in the right direction.
Aside from that lackluster musical number, these continue to be fun. There’s legitimate character and world development taking place, and I’m enjoying it far more often than not. Let’s see what I can do with this latest wave:
Omnidexterous Pegasus W
Creature — Pegasus Citizen
Flying
Equip abilities you activate that target Omnidexterous Pegasus cost 3 less to activate.
Flight provides utility in many unexpected ways.
1/1
Review the Evidence 1W
Instant
You gain 1 life.
Investigate. (Create a colorless Clue artifact token with “2, Sacrifice this artifact: Draw a card.”)
Storm (When you cast this spell, copy it for each spell cast before it this turn.)
Mane Melody Alchemist 2W
Creature — Pegasus Wizard
Flying
Whenever you cast a noncreature spell, target spell or permanent you control gains lifelink until end of turn.
Anything can be therapeutic at the right dosage.
1/3
Bedtime Story 3W
Instant
Choose three times. You may choose the same mode more than once.
• Tap target creature.
• Put a verse counter on target Saga.
“I’d rather be the hero in the story, but at least they’re asleep.”
—Princess Zipp Storm
“All For the Love of Trash” U
Enchantment — Song
At the beginning of your upkeep, put a verse counter on “All For the Love of Trash”.
Sacrifice “All For the Love of Trash”: Mill X cards, then return any number of artifact cards with total mana value X or less from your graveyard to your hand, where X is the number of verse counters on “All For the Love of Trash”.
Vital Component 1U
Artifact — Equipment
Equipped permanent is a creature with base power and toughness 4/4 in addition to its other types.
Equip artifact U (A permanent can’t be attached to itself.)
Equip 2
Ancient magic awakens new minds.
Seabreeze Supplicant 1UU
Creature — Pegasus Cleric
Flying
When Seabreeze Supplicant enters the battlefield, target creature with power X or less can’t be blocked this turn, where X is your devotion to blue. (Each U in the mana costs of permanents you control counts toward your devotion to blue.)
2/1
Salvage Queen 3UU
Creature — Unicorn Artificer
Each artifact card in your graveyard has escape. The escape cost is equal to its mana cost plus exile four other cards from your graveyard. (You may cast artifact cards from your graveyard for their escape cost.)
Spells you cast from anywhere other than your hand can’t be countered.
4/4
Blighthoof Pioneer 1BB
Creature — Pony Warlock
When Blighthoof Pioneer enters the battlefield, target creature an opponent controls gets -2/-2 until end of turn. If that creature is green, it gets -5/-5 until end of turn instead.
New magic means no one can tell you what not to do.
2/2
Galloping Boneherd 2B
Creature — Pony Skeleton
Haste
Galloping Boneherd can’t block.
Hoofcraft — At the beginning of your end step, if you control three or more Ponies, Pegasi, and/or Unicorns, return Galloping Boneherd from your graveyard to your hand.
3/1
Spore-Packed Shambler 3B
Creature — Pony Zombie
Deathtouch, lifelink
When Spore-Packed Shambler dies, create two 1/1 green Saproling creature tokens.
Without anypony noticing, the allergens went from irritating to dominating.
2/2
Catastrophize 4BB
Sorcery
Target opponent sacrifices a nonartifact permanent with the highest mana value among nonartifact permanents they control. Repeat this process two more times.
Posey’s happiest when somepony—anypony—is miserable.
Serial Disassembler 2R
Creature — Unicorn Artificer
When Serial Disassembler enters the battlefield, target opponent sacrifices an artifact.
Delirium — At the beginning of each opponent’s end step, if there are four or more card types among cards in your graveyard, that player sacrifices an artifact.
2/2
Expressive Vandalism 2RR
Sorcery
Destroy target artifact or land. You may discard a card. If you do, draw a card.
No matter her age, Izzy happily dismantles her surroundings in the name of art.
Strobing Orchids 1G
Creature — Plant
Mutate 1G (If you cast this spell for its mutate cost, put it over or under target non-Human creature you own. They mutate into the creature on top plus all abilities from under it.)
T: Add one mana of any color.
Whenever this creature mutates, untap it.
0/2
Henshin! 2G
Instant
Choose one —
• Target creature gets +3/+3 and gains trample until end of turn.
• Transform target creature. You may put a +1/+1 counter or a verse counter on that permanent. (Only double-faced cards can be transformed.)
Plasm Transfer 3GG
Instant
Put a +1/+1 counter on each creature you control, then redistribute all counters among those creatures.
No matter the plane, biomancy involves a great deal of unpleasant slime.
Temporal Spellbomb 1
Artifact
U, Sacrifice Temporal Spellbomb: Target creature has base power and toughness 1/1 until end of turn.
1, Sacrifice Temporal Spellbomb: Draw a card.
“Youthen that which was never old.”
—Spellbomb inscription
Scavenger’s Scooter 3
Artifact — Vehicle
Trample
Whenever Scavenger’s Scooter deals combat damage to a player, any number of target players mill that many cards.
Crew 2 (Tap any number of creatures you control with total power 2 or more: This Vehicle becomes an artifact creature until end of turn.)
4/4
Rambunctious Filly BR
Creature — Unicorn Child
2BR, Sacrifice Rambunctious Filly: Destroy target creature or land.
There’s no malice to the ruin in her wake. She’s just having too much fun to look where she’s going.
2/1
Perilous Training RG
Instant
Perilous Training deals 2 damage to target creature. At the beginning of the next end step, put X +1/+1 counters on that creature, where X is the damage that was dealt to it this turn.
It’s less “sink or swim” than “fly or crash.”
Towering Megaflora 1GU
Creature — Plant
Defender, reach
Landfall — Whenever a land enters the battlefield under your control, put a pollen counter on Towering Megaflora.
When Towering Megaflora dies, tap up to X target creatures, where X is the number of pollen counters on Towering Megaflora. Those creatures don’t untap during their controllers’ next untap steps.
2/4
Glittering Dispersal 1G(gu)U
Instant
Counter target spell. Distribute X +1/+1 counters among any number of creatures you control, where X is that spell’s mana value.
No alicorn can ignore a threat to her ponies.
Dumpster Dive 3UB
Sorcery
Each player mills two cards. Then you put an artifact card from a graveyard onto the battlefield under your control.
“Boxes full of parts just lying in the street? Earth ponies are so generous!”
—Izzy Moonbow
That would fly if, y'know, the word hasn't been used for a montage wrap song in Foal Me Once. Either some writers self-censor themselves, or all uses of colt get changed by S&P and they missed that one. Not an excuse either way.
I still maintain the series varies wildly in quality, going from one of its worst shorts, Dumpster Diving, to its best, Alicorn Issues. Funny how the latter shows Sunny has a sort-of reverse Applejack problem, is that's she bland and boring as all get-out when a side character, but compelling-is as a lead. Pity the short has to pull a S8/9 and dumb down the rest of the cast to allow it to progress (Zipp has never been this Rainbow Dash adrenaline junkie before). But tolerable is still leagues above most of this series.
Following that, Making a Foal of Me had little to offend, bar the writer's audacity of the magic glitter plot point, but nothing leapt out, and even at five minutes, "chaotic babies" tired fast. Makes me respect Baby Cakes all the more, honestly. And Neigh-fever actually had a lot going for it: spotlighting a background pony (it's like giving one of Ponyville's flower girls a short a generation later!), logical fallout from restoring magic, the works. It was shaping up to be one of this series' best. I even kind of dug the song, more than most of this series' numbers - always in the ear of the beholder, eh? And then the gross-out material intruded, it wasted time on a pointless newsreel, forcing the usual tonal whiplash from a rushed makeup, and then… ignored the hay fever problem in favour of Dahlia's snot squirting onto the flowers and giving them colour-changing powers. A kid' webseries, folks. And of course, even if it was going for wackiness there, it lacks the energy to pull it off.
I'll grant that there have been minor characterisation improvements over these sixteen episodes, and they are generally better-suited to the runtime, but the general, consistent flaws of the formula and writing, the visuals not helping to plus the material, and usually a few "what are you doing?!?" choices per short still keep this mired quite a bit.
Too be fair, I'm not sure it's a good idea to leave Izzy unsupervised for more than 10 minutes in general.
Stupid Complicated Game Alert: Lands have a mana value of 0. If this isn't enough to save them from Catastrophize then it's probably a win-more situation anyway, but it's still worth mentioning that this can eat lands.
Izzy is adorable and lots of fun, but she is also pretty scary. And socially clueless, which makes sense.
Between the entire second half of "Neighfever" and Sunny's nocturnal effusion in "Alicorn Issues" (don't worry, Sunny, it happens to everypony as their body changes), there have been a lot of plot points about secretions lately.
Have we seen any of the characters pick up an object with their mouth, or is this series going all in on "their hooves magically adhere to objects; don't think about it too hard"?
I'm not sure what to make of the trash song in "Dumpster Diving." I have to assume that everybody involved was aware of the absurdity of a song extolling the virtues of swimming through garbage. And the only way to sell that kind of joke is for the character to play it completely earnestly, which the actor and animators did. So why did it still feel cheesy in a bad way instead of cheesy in a fun way?
Speaking of Elder Scrolls, I am pretty sure that is a filled soul gem that Izzy used in the lantern. Lesser, if I had to guess based on shape.
Sunny really resembles Scootaloo with those tiny wings. The transmute water to glitter spell might need work though.
Earth ponies apparently dance to make their somatic components. I guess that does track with spontaneous musical numbers for verbal.