Friendship is Card Games: Growing Pains · 12:30pm Oct 9th, 2022
This week, we continue the exploration of this brave new world that has such ponies in it. Though some days it seems like insanity is the one true constant of the equine condition…
It is nice to see a unicorn barber casually setting up shop for the day in Maretime Bay. Nice little symbol of how far they’ve come (even if there’s still a long way to go, but we’ll get to that)
I see this generation’s answer to the Crusaders are following in their predecessors’ footsteps quite nicely.
I have to wonder how Hitch helped the central neo-Crusader out of the tree. Looks like she’s further up than he can rear up. I suppose Hitch has no issue with off-camera magic. 
Hitch. There is a middle ground between state oppression and complete anarchy. Please recognize that.
Oh hey, Sprout still exists. I guess they tracked him down after the wanted posters went out. Though new ones may have to go up after that berry. (Also, I appreciate how no one in town has any patience for Sprout these days. Forgiveness is one things, but it’s clear that feeding his ego is as advisable as feeding a mogwai after midnight.
“Fruit juice funk can stay in your mane for weeks.”
That’s what shampoo is for, Hitch.
We do see Hitch using growth magic in Tell Your Tale, to say nothing of the slide he pulled off in the previous episode of this. And he may well have experimented in the denouement of Make Your Mark, Chapter 1; I don’t recall off the top of my head. But I can still appreciate him focusing on the dangerous of unpredictable and untested magic.
What I don’t appreciate… Well, we’ll get to that.
Hitch and Sunny’s argument is this whole generation in microcosm, the tension between fear of the unknown and hope for the future. Of course, neither has any appreciation for nuance or finding a workable middle ground, but it’s the 2020s. Good luck finding that anywhere. 
Again, Opaline, it’s your fault for putting the scrying sensor inside the compact.
I do like how her plan with the mirror demonstrates one of her flaws; Opaline can’t conceive of an alicorn behaving differently from herself. This says volumes about her own personality and possibly her history. Certainly something to keep an eye on.
“Limiting magic to the magic hour of dusk…”
I do have to wonder how Hitch plans on enforcing that. Especially for unicorns who might just be using casual telekinesis where he can’t look.
Hitch’s town hall raises the question of who actually runs Maretime Bay. I know it was a company town, but was there ever a mayor? Did Phyllis literally run the entire municipality and now that authority has somehow fallen to Hitch? I can’t accept “It’s a kids’ show” as an explanation for that one, not when Mayor Mare was a thing and Zephyr Heights has an established monarchy.
(Bridlewood gets a pass; that wasn’t so much anarchy as apathy, and Alphabittle claiming the mantle of leadership because nopony else could be bothered to object.)
“Because we don’t know what’s possible with magic, there will be no further exploration of the possibilities of magic.”
That’s you, Hitch. That’s what you sound like. (Seriously, this is hitting two of my pet peeves at once: Arbitrary authoritarian overreach and stifling experimentation.) Heck, does this mean Htich plans on pretending he doesn’t understand his deputies? And again, by whose authority can he make this kind of sweeping decree? This is creating laws, not enforcing them.
Hitch has yet to accept that some degree of personal responsibility has to come into play with public safety. Well, personal responsibility other than his own.
Going by the star-and-horseshoe emblem, that’s the station’s official TV playing the “How to Sit Your Dragon” video. Why it has one, I cannot say.
“Don’t let him eat before sleeping. Don’t let him sleep before eating.”
On the one hand, I appreciate how absurd this is. On the other, it says a lot that Hitch doesn’t seem to recognize that.
I do like the map of Maretime Bay. It gives a sense of scale and position that even overhead shots of Ponyville never really did. Part of it’s the coastline. It’s a lot harder to get a sense of a landlocked town in the wider geography of the setting.
The “conversation with the recording” trope does make me smile.
Ah yes. Rather than allow Dahlia a chance to practice and refine her magic, just slap her with a “No” sticker when she flubs it on the first try.
Sorry, I’ll try not to harp on this, but this is deeply frustrating to me.
That was an impressive Rube Goldberg disaster. Though I don’t think it’s replicable.
“Abandon all order! Dazzle with destruction! Express yourself to the extreme!”
In hindsight, it’s really not that surprising that Discord has such a soft spot for Izzy in the comics.
And it turns out that not only is putting the genie back in the bottle impossible, trying to do so isn’t a good idea.
I admit, throwing on pixellated shades and funky background music to the ongoing magical apocalypse is honestly pretty funny.
Protip: If your plan involves messing with the magical MacGuffins, it’s probably a bad plan. But Hitch would rather risk the end of the world than admit he’s wrong.
The lack of a 0 key on the sheriff’s office phone continues to bother me. Though I suppose it’s moot after said phone gets turned into an ice cream cone.
Kenneth doesn’t get paid enough to put up with this crap. (Is Hitch paying his deputies? If so, in what?)
Hmm. It’s almost like touching the crystals—which are likely analogous to Elements of Harmony in terms of mineral and thaumic composition—rebalances a pony’s mind. Forced perspective, so to speak.
“Magic doesn’t operate by any rules.”
Or you just don’t know the rules yet and you need further research to understand them rather than dismiss magic as unknowable after a single day’s surveys.
And one of the big reveals of the season: A message from Princess Leia Twilight Sparkle recorded on the Unity Crystals, activated by a group of friends coming together.
“Earth pony magic has been activated for the first time in the history of Equestria.”
Ignoring that, especially since it’s blatantly untrue.
The origin of the crystals does seem to at least partially line up with Discord’s version of events, though it seems that Twilight made the Unity Crystals specifically to counteract Opaline’s attempt to hoard all magic for herself. (I wonder how her efforts differed from Tirek’s. Or Cozy Glow’s, for that matter. I suppose since no convenient artifacts were on hoof, Twilight had to make a set instead.)
“You are exposed to the world once again” raises a lot of interesting questions, harkening back to the mention of a cloak over Equestria. And don’t you just hate it when the video feed is corrupted in just the right way to keep the villain’s identity a secret until a later dramatic reveal?
Also, going by Twilight’s appearance in that conveniently corrupted recording, I choose to believe this is an offshoot timeline that diverged at some point during the timeskip before “The Last Problem.” (“But wouldn’t the timeline with less content be the offshoot?” No, because shut up. Shut up is why.)
“And who’s the evil pony?”
“Uh… Opaline?”
Okay, that was a good transition. Though wouldn’t it be hilarious if the pony Twilight was trying to warn the future about wasn’t Opaline at all? Or if the real Opaline died centuries ago? Imagine if this one is just some narcissist who decided to model herself after that ancient foe, or just woke up one day and decided to become a Saturday morning cartoon villain. (Alternatively, imagine if the Unity Crystals were just an O&O prop that got way out of hand after the end.)
“‘Hooftastic’ isn’t a word and i refuse to acknowledge it.”
I do appreciate a villain with some sympathetic elements to her.
I have to wonder if Opaline has a plan to harvest magic at any level of potency, or if she simply can’t conceive of effective resistance.
Misty may well have Team Rocket Syndrome; the more evil she tries to be, the less effective she becomes. She certainly can’t maniacally laugh her way out of a paper bag.
I don’t know what the ponies flailing at some of the giant flowers with brooms think they’ll accomplish.
“But also focus and guide your magic.”
You couldn’t have said that earlier, Sunny?
Oh, Sprout. Even when he’s not trying, he’s still managing to be an antagonistic force.
Hmm. A tree. Created through harmony. What a concept.
Izzy having no respect for a checklist is especially amusing in an episode that involves Twilight.
“Abandon all order and let anarchy reign” isn’t what I’d call the best lesson for the target audience, but I appreciate the spirit of it.
Apparently this is the first Sunny’s hearing about dragon magic. For sparky in particular it makes sense, but I’m not sure about it in general.
Huh. Something’s going on with Sparky and that tree. Certainly bears further investigation, but I can’t blame Hitch for wanting this day to end already.
In all, this was a mildly frustrating plot, but there are still a number of fascinating elements to play with, both in cards and stories. It does show how the writers really don’t know what to do with Hitch. From what I’ve heard, that doesn’t get any better later on. But for now, let’s see what I can do with this:
Wall of Forsythia 1W
Creature — Plant Wall
Defender
Whenever Wall of Forsythia blocks a creature, put a stun counter on that creature. (If a permanent with a stun counter would be come untapped, remove one from it instead.)
More pollen than vine.
0/4
Safety Concerns 2W
Instant
Prevent all combat damage that would be dealt this turn. Put a shutdown counter on each Attraction attacking player controls. Each of those Attractions gains “If you would visit this Attraction, remove a shutdown counter from it instead” for as long as it has a shutdown counter on it.
Crackdown Constable 3W
Creature — Pony Soldier
When Crackdown Constable enters the battlefield, exile target nonland permanent an opponent controls until Crackdown Constable leaves the battlefield.
Your opponents can’t cast spells with the same name as the exiled card.
“Thank you for your compliance.”
2/3
Vulcanizing Wave 1UU
Instant
Until end of turn, each creature target player controls become a red Balloon with base power and toughness 1/1 and gains flying.
Many ponies had called Izzy an airhead. Only Sparky could back up those claims.
Twilit Missive 3UU
Sorcery
Choose a card type. Draw a card for each card of the chosen type in your graveyard.
Twilight spent much of her life making the future brighter. The Unity Crystals are her most direct attempt.
Sinister Cackling 1B
Sorcery
All creatures get -1/-1 until end of turn.
Conspire (As you cast this spell, you may tap two untapped creatures you control that share a color with it. When you do, copy it.)
Opaline laughed in anticipation. Misty laughed because Opaline was laughing.
Opaline’s Sycophant 2B
Creature — Unicorn Advisor
At the beginning of your end step, if you control a Pony Pegasus Unicorn, you draw a card and lose 1 life.
“Those born to rule have no need for other ponies’ thoughts.”
—Opaline, the last alicorn
2/3
Dazzling Destruction 2R
Sorcery
Choose any target, then proliferate. For each counter put on a player or permanent this way, Dazzling Destruction deals 1 damage to the chosen player or permanent. (To proliferate, choose any number of permanents and/or players, then give each another counter of each kind already there.)
Cosmos of Calamity 3RR
Sorcery
Cosmos of Calamity deals X damage to each creature, where X is 2 plus 2 for each Attraction you visited this turn.
Space is a dangerous place. The Astrotorium manages to outdo it.
Entangling Trio 2G
Creature — Pony Child
When Entangling Trio enters the battlefield, destroy up to one target artifact, enchantment, or creature with flying.
Fillies will be fillies, much to the horror of local authorities.
1/3
Flash of Sanity 2G
Instant
This spell can’t be countered.
Shuffle any number of target cards from your graveyard into your library. Spells and abilities your opponents control can’t cause you to mill cards this turn.
Draw a card.
Rarer and more precious than gold.
Resonant Sprouting 2G
Sorcery
Search your library for X basic land cards, where X is one plus the number of cards in your graveyard named Resonant Sprouting. Put those cards onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle.
Every forest begins with a single seed.
Pavilion Presenter 3G
Creature — Pony Employee
Whenever a land enters the battlefield under your control, if you control seven or more lands, open an Attraction. (Put the top card of your Attraction deck onto the battlefield.)
Each new wildlife park is fed the remains of the previous one.
3/3
Scene of the Slime XG
Sorcery
Create an X/X green Ooze creature token.
Investigate. (Create a Clue token. It’s an artifact with “2, Sacrifice this artifact: Draw a card.”)
“Suspect is purple, amorphous, and answers to ‘Glitterberry Jam.’”
—Hitch Trailblazer, Maretime Bay sheriff
Fractal Melon 1
Artifact — Food
When Fractal Melon enters the battlefield, scry 1.
2, T, Sacrifice Fractal Melon: You gain 3 life.
XG, T, Sacrifice Fractal Melon: Create X Food tokens. (They’re artifacts with “2, T, Sacrifice this artifact: You gain 3 life.”)
Horticultural Pavilion
Artifact — Attraction
Visit — Add two mana of any one color. Until end of turn, you don’t lose this mana as steps and phases end.
The Astrotorium’s salad bar is as much of an adventure as the rides.
(2 lights)
Run Rampant RG
Instant
Until end of turn, target creature gets +3/+1 and gains trample and “Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player, search your library for a basic land card, put it onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle.”
Gardenia Cloak GW
Enchantment — Aura
Enchant creature
Whenever Gardenia Cloak enters the battlefield or enchanted creature attacks, choose lifelink, trample, vigilance, or +1/+1, then put a counter of the chosen kind on enchanted creature.
An incomplete sentence in the language of flowers.
Cascading Mishap BRG
Sorcery
Target opponent sacrifices a permanent with mana cost X, where X is the number of permanents they’ve sacrificed this turn. If that player sacrificed a permanent this way, repeat this process.
Any toddler could do something similar, but Sparky added a unique flair.
Thaumic Evolution 1GU
Enchantment
Whenever you cast a creature spell, the next noncreature spell you cast this turn costs (gu) less to cast.
Whenever you cast a noncreature spell, put a +1/+1 counter on target creature you control.
Like all life, magic grows and changes.
Overgrown Port
Land
Overgrown Port enters the battlefield tapped.
T: Add G or U.
2GU, T, Sacrifice Overgrown Port: Draw a card.
Maretime Bay’s produce has become one of its biggest exports.
Like it or not FiM never properly committed to and acknowledged earth pony magic. Yes, there were hints and logical conclusions to be drawn (HWE only makes sense if only earth ponies can grow enough food in otherwise improper conditions), but it was never really addressed enough (to the point where not just many people's headcanons, but even official material like the ToE RPG had the mudhorses' defining trait be physical sturdiness rather than anything plant related (and no that doesn't actually track, for every admittedly impressive feat you can find in G4 by an earth pony I can find you a pegasus doing something comparable)). G5's solution might not be great, but I struggle to think of a proper good solution when the alternative is just creating more inconsistencies. For what it's worth, Twilight putting the magic in the crystal means it did exist already, and between that and it doing things it definitely didn't do in FiM I choose to believe that in G4 times it was dormant within earth ponies, having passive effects on their farming and botanical efforts but never channeled actively the way it is now. Earth ponies were always magical, but now they can consciously control it.
Hitch's role in the series is mostly dragon daddy. For some reason the people in my friends group are bothered by it, but I honestly didn't mind it through the episodes (well, except for one thing in one of them). Honestly I wouldn't be surprised if Opaline was Cozy, they are fairly similar in many things. I don't think they are, but I wouldn't be surprised.
One thing that's been bothering me about G5 is just how quickly the ingrained bigotry between the pony races was "resolved." Magic comes back and *poof*, what appears to have been multi-generational distrust and hatred drops by like 80%. I'm sorry, but that stretches my suspension of disbelief big-time, and sends the wrong message about bigotry to kids. I think it would have been better from a story telling perspective if the mane 5 had to spend most of the series actually working to help ponies overcome their biases, and show just how much hard work it takes to overcome.
I do sympathize with Hitch a bit. He's suddenly thrust into a situation where the nice, orderly system he's accustomed to working in has been completely thrown off. But, yea, he does overstep his authority a bit, unless the laws in Maritime Bay work differently than those of our world. Which could be true. We don't know at this point.
Stupid Complicated Game Alert: Opaline's Sycophant, for one, welcomes our insect overlords. Because MtG changelings aren't really the same thing as MLP ones, so she can tell the difference between them and the actual Opaline. (I'd mention the question of their sentience that Lorwyn itself brings up, but *gestures towards Idiot Plot that FoME is pointing out*)
Stupid Complicated Game Alert: Thaumic Evolution can reduce generic mana costs because it doesn't say that it can't. Italics are kind of a "FoME, are you sure about that?" because everything in the official game does say it can't except for one card that reduces its own cost and doesn't have a generic cost by default. It can gain a generic cost through other means then reduce it, but you'd need at least 9 creatures and a source of nongreen mana for that to matter. I don't know why this rule is kept the way it is but these are just reporting on facts.
5691199
The thing is they didn't hate each other they were just afraid. They didn't know anything about the other tribes so they allowed their imaginations to run wild and assumed the worst. Once they actually got to know one another they realized they didn't have to be afraid anymore.
>Opaline =?= Cozy
I always liked the idea of her ending up as a corruptive element, Eberron's Shadow In The Flame style.
After the previous episode, I had been thinking about how this series was falling short in conveying its main characters' personalities (which is how you get the audience to care about the characters and not just the situations the characters find themselves in). Hitch in particular -- "can communicate with animals" is not a personality trait, and that's all he'd been given.
At least this episode showed us that he likes everything to be in order and regimented and has a difficult time accepting change. That could, for example, lead to some interesting plots where his personality conflicts with Izzy's go-with-the-flow/live-in-the-moment attitude. Problem is, this series has been extremely reluctant to show us any kind of interpersonal conflict between characters that would lead to all involved gaining a better understanding and acceptance of others' differences.
All these characters do is react to external stimuli. If they ever communicate with one another, it's to discuss how to solve the problem from external stimuli. The bulk of this episode boiled down to "Hitch makes a series of bad decisions on how to regulate magic, his friends impotently plead for him to not make those decisions, and then he finally -- and very abruptly -- changes his mind on his own." That potentially interesting Hitch/Izzy conflict? The majority of the time, they weren't even in the same room. And then it was over.
The reason G4 succeeded so unexpectedly was because we grew to understand (and like) the main characters. That made us care about the adventures they went on.
So it looks like this series is focusing on events rather than characters. If that's the case, then I expect a satisfying bridge to G4. It's nice to be assured that the show is planning some explanation, given Twilight's return in this episode. Although the animators missed a great opportunity for humor here -- it could have been very funny if Sunny just stared, mouth agape, at Twilight for the duration of the playback, completely oblivious to the world around her.
(I remember one of my notes on the movie being that it was a little funnier than Friendship Is Magic. What happened to that?)
If the show can't give me a reason to care about these specific characters, then I'm not going to care how they defeat Opaline. Setting up a fantasy world is all well and good, but if you want to tell stories in that world, you need captivating characters.
You start to wonder if she's someone's descendant. Her mane color is awfully familiar
so we should probably expect her to roll her r's and refer to herself in the third person at some point.
I do like the implication that Twilight created the Unity Crystals to put a stop to villains constantly trying to steal Equestria’s magic. That makes much more sense than Discord’s explanation in the comics that she essentially held magic hostage to force ponies to get along. But since he’s as unreliable a narrator as they come it isn’t hard to dismiss the notion of authoritarian Twilight.
I honestly agree with you that it's not out of the question the she/her in twilight's speech could be some other character then opaline/misty, especially since it's kinda odd it it was misty as why would you censor her name like that? I smell Chekhov's gun(mare?) here, and it'll probably pop up at some point either this season or maybe season 2.