Cadance tries to be the best mom in the world. She really does. But when she's summoned to Flurry's school after her young daughter gets in a fight with a classmate, she wonder just how good of a mom she's capable of being.

My technically-not-late entry into the Cadance Is a Terrible Mom contest.

If this were a normal case, I wouldn't be chasing after a foalnapper who keeps mailing me riddles that he expects me to solve. I wouldn't be living with an alcoholic perfume salesmare who can't hardly remember her own name, let alone mine. And I certainly wouldn't be turning the fair town of Ponyville upside-down looking for somepony I didn't really want to find in the first place.

Then again, if this were a normal case, they probably wouldn't have hired me to crack it.

ON HIATUS (as in, not cancelled) until I get a bit farther into Harmony/I have more time to consistently devote to writing.

Cooking is a delicate process that requires both patience and attention to detail. Rainbow Dash is the fastest flier in Equestria. Bring the two together, and things get real interesting real fast.

Written for Cereal Velocity's speedfic contest.

Fluttershy has a coltfriend. He cheats on her with another mare. She doesn't take it well. Beware, all ye who enter here: Flutterage lies within.

Written the night of the Season 1 finale. Not meant to be taken seriously at all.

After losing out on first chair cellist in the Manehattan Philharmonic Orchestra to her biggest rival, Octavia tries to console herself with a healthy bout of moping and a strong drink. One drink soon becomes several, though, and her evening of debauchery leads to a long night of frenzied, sordid passion with her best friend Vinyl Scratch. It isn't until she wakes up in the morning with Vinyl's legs wrapped around her that Octavia remembers two very important things: one, she's straight. And two, if the infamously strict conductor of the Philharmonic finds out how unrefined Octavia's social life has become, she could lose her one and only chance at the only dream she's ever had in her life.

This could get a little bit complicated.

Cover art by CouchCrusader, who I swear to God is like fatting me up for slaughter or something with all the custom stuff he does for me.

Half-heartedly edited by NTSTS #dunked

Most pirates that stalk the Seven Streams prefer to live only in the shadows, skulking through the skies as daylight dies and striking with brutal efficiency at any helpless merchant vessel in range.

Most pirates that the Royal Equestrian Aeronautical Navy hounds after are ragged, ruthless cutthroats who'd just as soon sell their grandmothers for a chestful of bits and a bottle of rum.

Most pirates that you hear about in stories would flee in terror at the sight of the RES Corona, the -world-famous warship helmed by the most dangerous and determined sky captain ever to fly under the Equestrian flag.

This story is not about most pirates.

P.S. Big ups to Chromosome and CouchCrusader for the editing help. Appreciate it as always, gents.
P.P.S. nitstits, go home.

There's a plague infecting Equestria, and Diamond Tiara has taken it upon herself to cure it. They may be stronger in number and in sheer absurdity, but she's got a little something special to even the odds.

That something being a three-foot long magically enchanted samurai sword. Look, nobody said this was gonna be pretty.

(Written for the FIMFiction Writeoff Association's inaugural writeoff. The prompt was "Lonely Happiness". I got a bit creative with it.)

The plan, he thought, was perfect. Instead of returning to the mortal world as a shade of his former self, King Sombra would transmute his soul into the body of his greatest foe, using her influence and power to destroy Equestria from the inside and take vengeance on the Princesses that stole his beloved empire.

There's just one problem: after her fight with Tirek, Twilight Sparkle changed her address. This turns out to be a much bigger problem than Sombra thought. A Dinky-Doo-sized problem, to be precise.

5th-place finalist in the More Most Dangerous Game contest.

Cover art crudely Photoshopped by me from this and this. I am art and so can you.

Reading by Neighrator Pony

I am Cold, swirling snow that turns ponies against each other, searing ice that freezes them solid. I am Survivor, the one the Friendfyre spell didn't catch, an exception that proves an impossible rule. I am Fear, Frustration, Anger, Hatred, every emotion my Creator has ever felt. I am her Future. I am her Past.

I am Demon, and Clover the Clever is my Master.

Winner of Equestria Daily's Outside Insight Summer Fanfic Contest.

Featured in The Royal Canterlot Library on March 6th, 2015.

When Ruby boards the first trans-oceanic flight in Equestrian history, the last place she expects to end up is stranded in the middle of Eternity's Crossing in the wake of a horrific zeppelin crash. After a mysterious tower leads her and a fellow survivor to discover a twisted and fragmented city twenty thousand feet below the surface of the ocean, though, a bit of fire and smoke is the last thing she needs to worry about. Between the horrendously disfigured residents and the paranoia of the madmare who once built and controlled it, daily survival in this corrupted utopia is anything but a guarantee. But with the help of some new friends and a few genetic enhancements, Ruby isn't going down without a fight, and in the process might just discover that the deadliest weapon in Harmony is herself.

An adaptation of BioShock for the world of MLP. Written to be comprehensible to anyone, regardless of whether they've played the original game.