Applejack mourns the loss of one of the last 67,986 links she had to her dead father.

(Contains spoilers for "Made in Manehattan.")

Audiobook versions:
Scarlett Blade
L1ghtningRunn3r

Now with a Spanish translation by Spaniard Kiwi!

Princess Celestia calls Twilight in to reveal one of Equestria's deepest, darkest secrets. This is definitely, absolutely the first time Twilight's heard of it.

Written for the 11th Quarterly Twilestia Contest. Platonic.

It's an ordinary day in Ponyville, until Applejack says Twilight is purple. She should have known better.

Prereader: CoffeeBean

Para español: Aquí

Celestia has always wondered why Twilight never replied to most of her letters. Fortunately Luna breaks the news 'gently'.

A rather silly idea that popped into my head this afternoon. I make no apologies.

Edit: As a few people pointed out, the title was really giving the story away; I've changed it on their (sound!) advice.

Right Angle, Ponyville's resident building inspector, has seen a lot of strange domiciles in his life. Twilight Sparkle's castle, however, just might be the strangest.

The castle seems to think so, too.

Inspired by a discussion with the lovely Perfectly Insane. A big thank you to ChudoJogurt, gapty, and AllThatShimmers for prereading.

Ko-Fi. Y'know. If you feel like it.

Featured on Equestria Daily!

Twilight's parents strongly disapprove of her dating Moondancer. They may think she's an utterly fantastic mare but, really, Twilight shouldn't date any of her Canterlot friends.

Like, ever.

...

Night Light may have a couple of confessions to make.

Proofread by my fantastic friends, Heartshine and Rose Quill. Also props to RoMS for helping with the descriptions.

Cover art was done by the always lovely Nova Quill. She's the best.

This idea was selected by my patrons for my August project. If you want to vote on future monthly projects consider joining my Patreon.

Apparently somebody made a Russian translation of this which is kinda rad. And a Russian Audio Reading!

Honourable Mention for the Accidental August Incest Contest

"Oh my *god* gara" - Cynewulf

"This was awful and I loved it. Excellent exercise in crossing the line an even number of times." - FanOfMostAnything

Streaming video games online is a good way for a pony to earn extra bits—literally, in the case of Twitch. Not to mention making new friends online . . . as long as Shiroi can remember to follow human rules, something which doesn’t always come naturally to an au naturel pony.

Rule 9i can be a real bummer.

Audio Reading!
part one
part two

When Rarity started dating Rainbow Dash, she never realized what it would mean for anyone else. Or how poor Rainbow's judgement was.

For years, Twilight Sparkle and Queen Chrysalis have been at each other's throats. Both have experienced victory over the other, and both have experienced defeat. Out of all the creatures in Equestria, none despise each other the way the pony Princess and changeling Queen do. They seemed destined to remain locked in battle forever, or at least until one is finally dead at the hooves of the other. The cruel insults, the vicious loathing, and the powerful spells that have passed back and forth between them at each meeting have become the stuff of legend.

Imagine Twilight's surprise when she finds out changelings consider this dating.

And now they're married.

***

Sequel: Pony Courtship Rituals

***

Some beautiful fanart of the end of chapter three was done by Dmann892; you can see it here.

More awesome fanart, this time from chapter one.

Now with a TvTropes page (obligatory TvTropes warning goes here).

If you want a Russian translation, you can find it here.

There is now a reading of the story on Youtube, which starts here.

This isn't where I belong. I left all this behind years ago, moved on with my life. But a mare from my past brought me back, and now she won't let me go. So I'm stuck here, trying to make the best of it with ponies that don't understand me, don't even like me. But when something moves in the darkness, and when things go wrong in the cold, dead night, they'll turn to me to try to set things right.

Why? Because once a police pony, always a police pony.
~~
This is a spin-off story to 'Why am I Pinkie Pie?!', and will contain spoilers for that story, but it's not necessary to read that story to understand this one.
Cover art by the talented Conicer
Need more Cinnamon Swirl? Merlos the Mad wrote a fanfic of this story!

There is now a side-story: A Hard Day's Nightmare Night