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Welcome to the Poet tree
A pony's heart lies not inside her chest,
but in the words in which she is expressed.
our poetry, in
any form or meter, speaks
to that connection.
If notions of equines in poems appeal,
then join us to read and to write;
with couplets and haiku and ballads and free verse
(and more!) we will strive for the light.
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445456
Chances are that I'm older than you.
8^D
Stay away from rhubarb! But you probably know that already.
If the wood sore-rels still doesn't work, then maybe if I do something to the 'pitfall wells' while keeping the horse specific hidden trap concept? But not today: must run to work and after that, day 30 of the NATG XII art challenge.
445455
Maybe it's an American / British English thing. This page (and others) says the British and American pronunciations are different from each other, but in each language are the same for each word. It also says the two meanings have completely different etymologies! But the issue is with the stress, not with the vowels used. I don't know how to read IPA, but the Brit IPA given on that page might indicate that it's just one syllable in British English.
I do think it's better to lose a syllable. I don't think it'd do any harm to use the same word as in Prufrock; only the most-obsessed Prufrock-lovers will notice, and you'll never satisfy them anyway.
"Casting shade" was actually #4 on my nitpick list; I didn't think it made sense. I'm too old to have known it was an expression. (Google says it entered the mainstream in the 1990s.) I'm glad you cleared that up for me.
(I'm familiar with oxalic acid, but not on friendly terms with it.
)
Er, we should probably make a forum thread if we keep talking about it.
445453
I'm delighted you enjoyed my twist on Prufrock!
Copy and paste away! The Hayloft Song of J. Alfalfafed Poolrock was tough, it's hard to match T.S. Elliot's lyricism and stay the course, so if you give it extra distribution, that's all right by me.
About the stress syllable problem in the rhymes, perhaps I mispronounce sorrel? I see it as so-rell, or sore-rell, not sorul (a reddish brown horse). (Sorrels are sour, by the way, it's the oxalic acid, sorrels are Oxalis sp..) When I read 'commitment' in this context, I do put a slight emphasis on the 'ment', to better match 'bent'. What could I swap in a keep in the social commentary, the trees committed to "casting shade", judging, those who dare pass? The idioms linking the lines are 'bent- on' and 'commitment - to'. There is 'intent' ('intent - to'), but it's the same word as in the original Prufrock and I'd lose a syllable. Maybe 'On appropriative intent', but blegh, I think that kills the flow. Or 'On encumbrances meant'. That might do it, it's insidious. (But short one syllable.)
So, after 2 hours of pouring through a thesaurus and a few dictionaries...
Let us trot, to where pastures and forest meet,
Grass whispering at our feet
Of uneven ground hiding pitfall wells
And grazing soured by wood sorrels:
Errant trees with branches bent
On encumbrances meant
To shape doubt and your hesitation...
Is that better? This is why it took four months for the first pass at this parody and why I made at least eight changes last January.
444464
Wow. That's really poetry! And a thorough ponification of Prufrock, replacing Prufrock's modernist angst with a horse's anxiety over herd status. Here's a link to the chapter. I hope you don't mind if I copy-paste the poem (with attribution, of course!) to my blog, 'coz I think almost nobody will search thru the chapter for it. I can remove it if you like, but if I don't do it right now I'll forget (or lose interest, because no verse is more-powerful than my ADD).
I have got some nitpicks, which are unfortunately with the very first stanza:
Of uneven ground hiding pitfall wells
And grazing soured by wood sorrels:
Errant trees with branches bent
On shade making commitment
That's two bad rhymes in a row--you can't rhyme a stressed syllable with an unstressed syllable. Ever. That's a thing even Emily Dickinson never does. It's better just to punt and not rhyme at all than to rhyme a stressed syllable with an unstressed one.
I dropped my tale into a folder,
I really hope you don't mind.
I fear I was bold, er,
The poetry might be hard to find.
But if you look in "August",
In that chapter I thrust,
A familiar rhyme 'equined'.
What? Where? you might ask,
What is this impossible task!
Give me a title you troll,
(is this a poetry Rick Roll?)
Twilight's Blog is the story,
a Prufrock parody for the glory.
So your time I might waste,
Here now a small taste
Of the first lines with which to bore ye:
Let us gallop, you and I,
When evening has spread over Celestia's sky
Like a salt-drunk pinto sprawled on a table;
Let us trot, to where pastures and forest meet,
Grass whispering at our feet
Of uneven ground hiding pitfall wells
And grazing soured by wood sorrels:
(The Hayloft Song of J. Alfalfafed Poolrock By T.S. Celerybit)
Yellow!
Maybe in the future I'll write one shot rhyming poems on here. I've been writing rhyming poetry for about more than 10 years. I wanna start, but I wanna read other poems from other poets here, so I can get motivated.
400218
I finally found it. One Full Day was in the story Reading Rainbow by Corejo. It is written in anapestic tetrameter, sounding a bit like Dr Seuss. It was worth the search and I highly recommend it.
Help. Please :) I was looking for some poetry to re-read and can't find it in my collection. It was about a half a pony who lived in half a house, the other half not existing, leaving his bedroom open to the elements. While walking home he passed a mare (in a field?) and tried to woo her but she rejected him because his life was incomplete (she couldn't live in the half a house for example). He tried to change to please her and I don't recall how it ends up. IIRC, it was very poetic but tended a bit towards prose. It may have been in an anthology or inside a story.
I would very much appreciate if you could help me find this story again. I've skimmed my collection and the titles in this group's folders, but nothing jumped out at me. I'll keep looking, but please help if you can.
Greetings, I guess my OC's name says it all, poetry has always been a big part of my life, though I must admit, I never wrote any poetry involving MLP:FiM before, well, this poet is not afraid to give it a try, I just hope I can "measure" up... *groan*...
379133 Sure, just put it in. Poetry can be in any form (there's some very prose-y type poems in this world).
Is it okay to post stories that are in prose but that have a very poetic, florid style?
I have a story for the poems within stories folder! My story, foslsitter
Hi, any and all.
I just joined as I heard of the group.
Not sure if I will manage any story in the format.
I have a few poems in my blogs though.
354990 Of course, if you want to put it in the Champions folder, feel free to.
Is it possible to nominate horizon's Melt for the champion's folder?
I strongly hold the notion that it is an exceptional work deserving the accolade of that otherwise destitute folder
349120 As long as there's poetry in it, it counts. Poetry is poetry, no matter what length. One of mine literally has four lines of a poem, but many different stories within it. Just go for it.
Welcome to the group.
Glad I found this group, looking forward to reading the pieces within. Additionally, how much poetry is required in a story to be submitted in the folder "Stories that include a poem"? Mine is rather lengthy at 125k words but I have some short poem's appearing in the chapters now and then, and thinking of going back and adding more.
345831 Just asking's good enough, although you can put it in a folder if you wish. The folders are there to show off your work, and promote the poetry in one place. I'll quite happily look at it when I have time. Hope to see you around here.