Well that title says it all. My depression has consumed me, I'm considering hospitalization, but I am unsure. I wish I could stop existing and my future looks bleak. Worst part is my mother doesn't understand.

Of course nobody cares. Why should they.

7240501
Depression is an ugly thing. A black hole for any feelings or any future visions that always spirals on to the same singularity in the end.
Regardless there are always those who care. Cling to those people. Your mother, your therapist, your family, your friends, etc...

Some of those may not or can not understand you and the problems you face. But do not mistake that for not caring. Your mother for example most certainly does care and always will even if some mental problems are beyond her understanding.

Talk to people who will listen even if they don't understand. Try and find something to take your mind off of some of those trains of thought that are destroying you. Occupy your mind and maybe even your hands in some way that can be positive.

This isn't the end.

7240501 If you feel that you may actually be a threat to yourself, you should, indeed, seek help from the professionals. They've dealt with similar cases before. They'll know what to do better than anyone else.

All I can do you is give you a little pro-life-tip: There is no point escaping when there is no note-worthy escape to be had. The trick isn't to live without hardship or to escape it; the trick is to accept hardship as part of life. Perhaps one day you will solve it, but not if you refuse to bear it until then.