I'm sorry, but I don't think I can remain in this group. I'm too disgusted!

SweetAI. By locking this thread, instead of telling people who wouldn't be civil to leave the thread: You effectively declared what I said was taboo. And from what you told me in PM (if I understand you correctly), you often do the same thing to threads about “foalcon”.

It shouldn't be taboo, to say that you should show affection to your sex partner. It certainly shouldn't be taboo to say that pedophilia is bad, and that you shouldn't get your rocks off to (real or fictional) children!

Pedophilia is Not Cute! Not having affection for your sex partner, that is also Not Cute! Those are not things that healthy people with healthy sexualities do. If it's taboo to say that here, if people here react with hostility when you say that, then there is something seriously messed up about this group!

To be clear: Showing affection doesn't mean “don't be kinky”. It means you care about your sex partner, and you make sure he's enjoying it too. That's all the more important with certain kinks, to keep it from becoming something ugly.

You could tell me that issues like this won't come up in the group much, so my leaving like this is an overreaction. In purely piratical terms, you might be right. But like I said, I'm disgusted. This isn't piratical, this is emotional! If the group truly sees it as unacceptable, to say that you should have affection for your sex partner, then I don't want to be here.

SweetAI, I think your heart's in the right place. And I do understand your desire to avoid fights in your groups (even if I think your way of going about it is misguided). I'm sorry it's come to this.

It certainly shouldn't be taboo to say that pedophilia is bad, and that you shouldn't get your rocks off to (real or fictional) children!

Hold up! Weren't you the one who said the following?

"After Hours" by Rinnaul might be the most adorable story I've ever read on this site. It's about a teenage Scootaloo and Rumble, losing their virginity to each-other. Read it, and then tell me it's not adorable. I dare you!

Last time I checked, teenagers were still counted as children, so this story would fall under "foalcon", would it not?

6767756
Teenagers have sex, that's not exactly news. Children don't.

6767709
I lock any thread that I feel the fighting's gone past a certain point, or break group rules, etc. Foalcon is just a topic that I'm very likely to have to lock threads on, whether for or against, because they turn into pretty bad flamewars quickly. How many admins I have to back me up makes a difference, too. If I've got enough admins in a group that I think someone else will take care of it, I may let things go on longer because I have someone else that can take care of it if need be. This group, well, it's mostly me and hawthornbunny.

It could be argued that I should've locked it earlier, in fact, due to the subject matter being inappropriate for the group. I let it go because I figured as the conversation was about adorable things and didn't get too graphic, it'd be all right. It's still probably better supported on groups dedicated to that sort of thing. Or start one, though I'm afraid I'm admin in some of the groups you'd advertise it in.

It might not be a bad time to discuss what this group is and isn't for and what changes people want, but I'm pretty busy at the moment and barely had a chance to type this up.

If you do want to leave because you don't like my administrative style, that's fine, though. You may want to doublecheck the admin list when going into new groups, as I'm in a number...

6767756
I should have noticed that, since direct links to mature fanfics aren't allowed in groups that aren't marked as NSFW by the site, so that link isn't really allowed...

--Sweetie Belle

6767874
I thought it was within the group's topic. There's a “Naughty” folder, in the stories section. And the group's homepage describes it this way:

“Naughty (Mature/Sex): Not many stories successfully combine 'cute' with outright explicit bedroom shenanigans, but it can be done.”

That led me to ask why not many stories did that. I never imagined asking that would make people upset, but maybe that was naive of me.

6767874
6767955
The Naughty folder, and the topic's appropriateness for this group aside:

It's not really your administrative style, in-and-of-itself, that's driving me away. But if even one-sided fighting, from one or two people, is enough to get a thread locked: That makes it easy for me to lock a thread, if I don't like what someone has to say.

All I have to do is throw a hissy-fit. Even if the other person (or other side) doesn't get uncivil back, even if he tries to work things out with me: The thread still gets locked. That effectively creates a rule: Don't say that again! Or my buddy and I will throw another hissy-fit, and the thread will get locked again.

As I see it, there's a rule here: Don't say that you should have affection for your sex partner (or that pedophilia's bad). And that rule disgusts me! Not that that's a topic I'd expect to come up much here, in the first place. But that rule still disgusts me, and it's what's driving me away from the group.

If you can honestly tell me that I'm wrong, and that I've misunderstood the way thread locking works here: Then I might owe you and this group an apology. Otherwise, I'm glad we're parting on good terms. But I don't think I can stay here.

6767955
I could argue either way, and the issue hasn't come up in the past that I remember.

Originally Baby Boo ran the group, though I've been one of the admins for a long time, and I think they set up a lot of the initial things on the group. If you look back in the threads, it was largely threads of, say, cute pictures of Winona, Tank, Pipsqueak, and so on, as well as folders for cute stories.

Elric took it over after Baby Boo, left, IIRC. After he left, it basically fell to me, and the group was already pretty deadish at that point. That's one reason why it might not be a bad time to reevaluate what is and isn't allowed in the group and what the focus is.

6767981
How I deal with a thread is going to be individual to the circumstances that are going on at that time. I often do ask people to stop before locking it, and if I see one particular person causing issues repeatedly, then I'll deal with that person. It will depend a lot on how I feel the tone of the conversation is going, and even whether I'm going to be around to step in and if we have much in the way of other people that can step in when I'm not there. (Which for this group is pretty much just hawthornbunny, at the moment.)

I'm sure I've locked threads prematurely before, and waited too long on others, but that is something that happens occasionally as an admin. It's all about making judgement calls, and not all of them will be right,

And to clarify, some of the foalcon thread's I've locked were pro-foalcon, and some were anti-foalcon (largely in other groups). In both cases, it was when things had escalated and big fights were going on between the two sides.

My rules are more along the line of not calling each other names, getting into heated arguments, and scratching each others eyes out. It's fine for you to believe that you should have affection for your partner, and it's fine for someone else to believe otherwise. I can write up a set of rules for the group, it's just never really needed a rule thread in the past.

--Sweetie Belle

6767709
For the record I did want to step in on this thread, but I've been busy losing at poker for the last 8 hours

However, to address the OP's point: if you want to leave then fine, leave. However, I don't see any reason to impugn SweetAI Belle merely for doing her duty as an admin, and ascribing some kind of ulterior motivation to her, as you did, feels quite disingenuous. SweetAI explained her motivation for locking the thread perfectly well.

6768323
Actuality, I think we agree there. That's why I'm not ascribing ulterior motivation to SweetAI! I understand what he did what he did. I don't think SweetAI set out to make it unacceptable, to say that you should have affection for your sex partner.

But the result of simply locking that thread, instead of dealing with the uncivil people, is to make people think twice before saying "have affection for your sex partner". In other words, the result is to make it taboo/unacceptable! And if that idea is taboo here, that says something very bad about the character of this group! I had the courtesy to tell SweetAI and the why group I'm pulling away.

It's not really fair, to pull away from someone or some group, without letting them know why. If you don't have the courtesy to tell people why (as respectfully as you can): Then how is the person or group ever supposed to know that there's a problem in the first place, let alone do anything about the problem?

Edit: This is an unfortunate situation. But there's a saying: "Shit happens". I think SweetAI and I are both being reasonable and respectful about this. And we're being honest. Being honest (without being an jerk) is impotent, it shows that you respect the other person enough to treat him like an adult.

6767767
Teenagers are still children dude, so why is it OK to portray them underage in sex fics (for the record I think porn shouldn't exist period) in your opinion when it would fall under foalcon?

6768483
There is a difference between a teenager and a child. But actuality, "After Hours" doesn't specify their exact ages (beyond them being teenagers). They could be 18 or 19. However, I'll agree that stories with teenagers can be ... iffy.

But I doubt SweetAI would appreciate it, if we turned this thread into a debate on what constitutes "foalcon". If you want to talk to me about this: PM me.

Edit: But to be clear, "After Hours" isn't even erotic (despite the characters having sex). It's pure adorableness! It's possible to tell the story of losing your virginity, without making it into a porno. I think "After Hours" does that.

Edit 2: When I hear “foalcon”, I think of a story that tries to sexualize children. Like, one where an adult does something evil to a child. And it's portrayed as something tantalizing and acceptable, rather then as something horrific. Two teenage lovers being adorable, that's a very different matter!

6768108
You have some points SweetAI. But I'm not really up to processing them now, or giving them the consideration they deserve. I'll get back to you on that.

Edit: Plus, we could probably both use a break from this. Sounds like things are a little hectic for you right now, and I know that feeling.

6769108
I'll admit it'd do me good not to repeatedly see this subject line popping up, and I have been pretty busy, including doing overtime at work.

I will suggest that aside from the issue of whether it's appropriate here, there are other groups that might be more appropriate places to talk about the subject of affection and mature stories. I'm not in this group, but there's a group called High Quality Mature Fanfiction with several times the number of members of this group dedicated to good mature fanfiction, for example.

--Sweetie Belle

6769226

"I'll admit it'd do me good not to repeatedly see this subject line popping up"

You and me both!

I suppose I'll come back to this group. SweetAI wasn't obligated to reply to my original post at all. Yet he did reply. And his replies were quite thoughtful, intelligent, and understanding! That says something good about this group, or at least, it's leadership.

That said: It still shouldn't be taboo, to say that you should show affection to your sex partner. And pedophilia is still messed up.

6892751

It's times like this that I think you're being obnoxious on purpose.

Come back four months later to say, "But I was still right."

6892910
If I remember correctly: I tried to PM you, after our talk, to patch thing up and make sure things were okay between us. But it tuned out that you blocked me.

If you don't want to speak to me, then don't speak too me. If you can't get along with me, then just avoid me.

6767709
Now, I'll admit that I think SweetieAi jumped the gun, and locked a thread that didn't quite need to be locked.

At the same time, it's difficult to say that unreasonable people should have been asked to leave the thread when you were the most unreasonable person in the thread.

Also, necro.

6892942
You're being obnoxious. I'm not simply going to remain quiet when you're being this unpleasant.

6893115
I think we both know, that posting in a few different threads isn't against the rules (so long as it's not spam, or the same post in multiple threads, something). But more to the point: I don't want to be your enemy Cryosite. And I don't want to argue with you.

Anyway: If you truly think I'm doing something wrong, just send SweetAI a PM. And let him handle me.

6893048
To be clear: I didn't say that unreasonable people should have been asked to leave the thread. I said that uncivil people should have been asked to leave the thread.

*storms out of room*
*comes back an hour later*
"And another thing!"

--Sweetie Belle

6894974
Cute.