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I've improved on the prose, content, and (with some help) editing, and yet it still gets downvoted. Why is that?

Is it because it has only OCs in them instead of any canon characters? Is it just because it has Odium in it? Or is it something else entirely?

Also, what's wrong with Odium's existence? Is it because he looks out of place? Is it because that he's boring? Is it because he's been spammed too much? Or also something else entirely?

Sorry. It's just that I don't understand why people still hate this story so much. Can someone tell me the answer?

7528983
There's not a lot going on here as far as an actual story. This is just a "my life is so hard!" pity-party for a Mary Sue OC.

7529018
Wait, why is he a Mary-Sue? I gave him actual flaws, weaknesses and other things, at least in his wiki page.

7529019
"I gave him actual flaws, weaknesses and other things"
It doesn't really matter: https://www.fimfiction.net/blog/451619/the-real-mary-sue-test

Look, Mary Sue is an attitude towards writing, not something inherent in your character design. The Mary Sue is a wish-fulfillment vehicle for an author who uses the story for personal escapist fantasies. It's when you use your character as a proxy of yourself to deal with your own insecurities and to reinforce your fragile ego - often subconsciously - rather than viewing the character as a tool for telling a good story. Contrary to popular belief, Mary Sues often do have flaws. However, authors who write this type of stories tend to be incredibly defensive about their characters and can't acknowledge those flaws, because they are actually the author's own flaws. The Mary Sue is, basically, the person the author wishes to be.

At the end of the day, it kinda doesn't matter what sort of traits you give the character, because "Mary Sue traits" are just symptoms, not the disease itself. As long as you can distance yourself from the character and allow him be whoever and whatever the story demands that he be, you probably don't need to worry about him ending up a Sue. Sure, you may still create a bad OC, but that's because good characterization is just another skill you have to develop. Point is, a real Mary Sue isn't about telling stories, but rather making the author feel better about him or herself.

Best advice you'll ever hear on the subject, right there. Avoiding writing a Mary Sue isn't a problem of mechanics or technique or character attributes or anything else tangible that you can manipulate or devise some formula to try to avoid.

It's a problem of why you're writing.

Do you really have a compelling story to tell in its own right, or is there a more underlying interest in showcasing your original character, and the plot, canonical characters, and everything else are really just a vehicle for that?

If your OC is really what you care about the most while you're writing, you'll always write a Mary Sue.

There's your real test. It's pretty much that simple.

7529021
I see. Thank you for explaining that. I really do want to tell a compelling story in its own right, but I guess I really did let my obsession with my OCs keep me from doing that in the process. Sorry about that.