There's not much to say here other than I agree with y'all's feedback! I listened to this on the way in to work, not following along visually at all. I was, at first, very confused by the sudden flashbacks. I thought the whole shoulder-grab thing was happening in the present. On one hand, writers are working in a visual medium, so the fact that the scene breaks didn't translate to spoken word isn't really an issue. On the other, it's probably a good idea to hear how your story sounds aloud, just in case you run into a situation just like this one! :<

I loved the fact that it wasn't a "oh she can fly, wheee!" situation. She worked for it. She worked hard for it. And that makes the victory all the much sweeter, and her joy all the more palpable.

I think the only thing that caught me off-guard, and this is not a criticism, was Rainbow Dash calling her pathetic. I was jarred immediately by that, but it's clear as Flupri kept reading that Rainbow Dash was very upset. Maybe "Don't be pathetic" would have shocked me less to hear coming out of Flupri's Rainbow's mouth, but it was supposed to shock Scootaloo to her core to bring her to the realization she needed. And it succeeded.

All in all, very successful little tale. Also, I loved Flupri's enthusiasm. Felt like he was right there with Scoots in the joy.

5994878 I think I'm on both sides! At the same time! Screw physics!

At first, I was jarred. Then she continued speaking and it made perfect sense. Which, well, given her general brashness, means it all makes sense. Does that make sense?

I think the transitions are fine, personally. It *felt* like being suddenly taken into a flashback by force, which I think is what you were after.