The story up next is "Fallout Equestria: Reminders" by Vaatidj. https://www.fimfiction.net/story/329072/fallout-equestria-reminders

I don't really have any experience with Fallout Equestria. I know about My Little Pony, and I am VERY aware of the Fallout franchise #NewVegasBetterThan4#. That being said, this is my first time working on those two put together, so here goes. This story was pretty good for my first MLP/Fallout crossover. That being said, there were a few things that stopped me from having the perfect experience with this story. Like always, I don't read ALL of the story, but a good enough amount to judge it.

Okay, so the beginning starts us off with Dead Hooves who gives us an introduction to herself. This is in my opinion where the problem starts and continues as she addresses us.

Sorry, guess I forgot to introduce myself. The names Dead Hooves, and yes, that is my real name.

You have to be careful when addressing the audience. Doing things like this can work to break immersion that the reader had with the story. A good story makes the reader forget it's just a story in the first place. You then proceed to pretty much give the readers an info dump. This is pretty much when loads of information is haphazardly given to the readers with little to no actual prompting from anyone or anything. The MC who addressed the audience, is now just giving us her life story...all at once. You should work to be more subtle on these things. Perhaps slowly give the details through points or interactions, but not all at once.

Next point, I really think you should work on your timing of events more. Some of the things that happen, seem to happen so close together that they can be called weird coincidences that annoyingly stand out.

Right after the main character and the radio tell us about the bloody angel, someone attacks her saying she's the bloody angel. It's like the author is saying. "Okay, I've established the bloody angel, guys, now I can use it."

Or

Right after being captured, one of the raiders decides he's had enough evil deeds and frees the main character with absolutely no signs he was struggling in the first place. And right when the MC is involved too. Interesting timing...

While these are problems, it wasn't the MAIN problem for me. When I was reading this story, I noticed that there was something missing. Just something irksome that made the story feel incomplete. For a while, I wondered what it was, and then it hit me. I wasn't worried about the main character. This is a BIG problem, I SHOULD be worried, I SHOULD care. There's no point to an exciting event if the reader doesn't care. So I started wondering why I felt this way.

The answer is suspension of disbelief. Your story thus far has shown me the MC won't actually die or suffer all that much. It's dulled my reaction with it's events. It's like the boy who cried wolf. There's only so much the readers will go through before they get numb to the experience.

Author: "Danger! Dead Hooves is being attacked by raiders and outnumbered!"
Readers: "Whoa! What's gonna happen now?"
Author: "Don't worry, she just gets knocked out."
Readers: "Oh. Well...okay, maybe it'll be trouble for her later."

Author: "Danger! Dead Hooves is about to be tortured!"
Readers: "WOW! This doesn't look good! I wonder what's gon-"
Author: "Don't worry, one of the raiders decides he's done being bad, and saves her before she actually gets hurt."
Readers: "..."

Author: "Danger! Dead Hooves is now against a couple DOZEN raiders!"
Readers: "Whatever..."

You see where I'm coming from? There is only so much readers will tolerate before they just lose interest. The first part where the raiders knock out Dead Hooves is easily forgivable. The part where Dread suddenly decides he has had enough now that the MC is there is not forgivable. My recommendation is to slow down on this part more, extend it. Maybe we see Dead Hooves getting hurt, maybe as time passes, she lies there in hurt and she sees Dread upset about something. Where it builds and you give the readers clues to when it DOES happen. This will help get rid of that annoying "Lucky me" vibe that seems to be building on Dead Hooves. I know that Willow Wisp was in terrible condition and it was really that who convinced him to act, but like I said, the timing with the MC REALLY makes it annoying and makes it seem like she'll be fine no matter what.

And it's a shame because the story is actually pretty well written. However, I'm having trouble enjoying it because it breaks me out of the experience and cuts off any anticipation I actually have. Still, this is an easy fix, and I do hope it works out. It IS a long story after all, and such time and effort should not be wasted.

Fallout Equestria: Reminders: 60/100
This story has a bit of potential. I might check up on it later.