Next on the list is "Cutie Mark Caverns" by Tropical Applejack https://www.fimfiction.net/story/390899/cutie-mark-caverns

I have to say that these chapters were rather fun to read. The details were nice and properly set the mood without feeling too excessive. The morals and truths imparted by the chapters felt rather genuine and heartwarming.

However...the chapters are simply too short. This very much undermines a lot of its goodness and makes it feel more predictable. This doesn't really feel like some serious trial or challenge because it seems to be solved with very little effort. I know in your story Celestia said that there wasn't going to be any danger, but I think there should be. Or at the very least, you shouldn't tell readers that there isn't danger. What will they have to look forward to? They know it's not dangerous, and it's so short that it makes it obvious and anticlimactic when every pony safely passes through.

I recommend you don't take away the danger. Drastically lengthen the scene with each pony, make it feel like each of them really struggles. Maybe it even looks like one will fail. Readers seldom want easily predictable outcomes.

That being said, I think you should make the chapters much longer. It's like they end just when it starts to get to the good stuff. I would like to make a suggestion. Have each of the main six meet the former bearer of their element of harmony. THAT would be rather interesting. Chancellor Puddinghead with Pinkie, Commander Hurricane with Rainbow Dash, you get it. On another note, this story is doing pretty well without using dialogue. So far there isn't really any negative impact in not using it. However the longer the story is, the more difficult it will be to make a story without dialogue while still making sure it feels natural, so keep this in mind.

Also, while your story COULD get away with not using dialogue, using it and properly balancing it out with the narration could make your story noticeably better. Just make sure not using dialogue is important enough to you that you're willing to overlook this option.

Lastly, there isn't really much set up or established for this story. We don't know what the mane six were doing before they came to this cave, where it is, why it's so important, or even the history of it. All we are told is that Celestia wants them there so here they are. There is a big gap that we're left with, it's not often that you should jump to a scene without giving readers enough information. Right now you're just starting your story at that point, so readers haven't stayed long enough to care. It's like telling the punchline to the joke before actually telling the joke. You likely won't get much success doing it this way.

This story does actually interest me, and I'll definitely come back to see what truths the story has to say about the other elements, but not having anything established, and short predictable chapters are a heavy blow.

Cutie Mark Caverns: 50/100
Fix this up so I can enjoy it later