Okay folks, here's another FF150! Unfortunately April's winner, Merallakos, has not responded since being informed of their victory. As a result, I have picked the prompt for this month's contest. Doing it this way means that there is no conflict of interest as it maintains the usual situation of the prompt-setter being ineligible to win. After EileenSaysHi's very able stewardship of the contest last month, I regret to inform everyone that yours truly is back in the rickety judge's chair. (Yes, these are indeed chairs for rickety judges.)

Here are the full rules.
Please use this word counter.

You'll note that Rule 6 still explicitly disallows any G5 content. This may change before this year is out, but that depends to a considerable extent on people's feelings here. If you have any particular views on that, in any direction, please feel free to mention them in the Rules etc thread in the forum.

Remember, there is no prize, as such, for this contest -- but if you win, you will be able to choose the prompt for the next contest. You'll also get a mention on the group's front page. It is of course possible that an asteroid may strike Earth in the intervening period, so I need to clarify that in the event of all higher life forms becoming extinct there may need to be some compromise over these matters. Anyway...

Prompt: "Just This Once" (selected by Loganberry)
Rating: E or T
Word limit: 150
Closing date: Saturday 21st May 2022, 11:59 pm UK time (world clock)

Please reply to this post with your entry. This makes it easier for me to keep track. Please do not leave feedback until after the closing date.

Entries are now open! Have fun!

7682184

Please reply to this post with your entry. This makes it easier for me EileenSaysHi to keep track.

Wait, why am I still keeping track?

7682190
Clearly your stint as host was so adequately hinged that you've been conscripted as a perennial aide!
Copypasta claims yet another victim

Fixed!

7682184

You are the first crowd who has welcomed The Great and Powerful Trixie with a cheer. In turn, for you only and merely tonight, The Great and Powerful Trixie will perform the never before seen magic trick, with no magic!

Behold! Without even charging the horn, The Great and Powerful Trixie shall make this apple disappear.

Now you see the apple on the chair, but after The Great and Powerful Trixie sits on it… Mghh!

Igh!

Uh, ugh!

Auch!

Aaa!

AAAAAAA!

Oh, god, I'm gonna die...

…

And... And now... And now when The Great and Powerful Trixie slowly and carefully stands up, you can no longer see the apple...

Ta-da!

I need to get to a hospital.

Edit: 22 - Just This Once and Never Again

7682184

What do you mean by "Just This Once"?

7682184
(In case it’s not obvious, this is the EqG Main 7.)

“For heck’s sake, Rainbow Dash,” Applejack exclaimed. “Of course it’s cheatin’ for you to use your power geode when we’re playin’ hide and seek!”

“Well, no one told me!” Rainbow replied, indignant. “I can’t just guess what the rules are!”

Sunset groaned. “None of us have super-speed. How was I possibly supposed to catch you when you can zip between hiding spots?!”

“I don’t know, aren’t you and Twilight the smart ones?”

Twilight lit up. “Actually, I’ve been working on a few devices that could theoretically—”

Sunset facepalmed and held up a silencing finger. “Not. Helping!”

“Maybe we could let her have this one game?” Fluttershy piped in.

“Errrrrrghh… fine,” Sunset growled.

“Sweet!” Rainbow fist-pumped, only for Applejack to catch her arm.

“Don’t try it again, though, or I might have to use my gem.” Applejack bore down tightly.

“Point taken,” Rainbow squeaked as she winced.

7682184

To be read with the energy of that "Are We the Baddies" sketch...

"Celly, I'm concerned about the quill situation."

"Hm?"

"The quills."

"What about them?"

"We're running out."

"Is that so?"

"It's becoming quite the problem."

"I see. Is it that bad?"

"It is."

"Hm. I trust you have a solution in mind for me?"

"I do... You know Griffonstone."

"I do. What of it?"

"They grow quills."

"Yes?"

"We could march into Griffonstone and --"

"No."

"We could --"

"The Guard does not exist to invade our neighbors."

"If there ever was a time --"

"No."

"...Or the peacock lands. Nopony would care if --"

"We aren't going to annex the Surapadman, either."

"The quills are a problem, Celly."

"Find another way, Lulu."

"...I'll look into the return to clay tablets, then."

"Oh, me."

Initial entry archived below, no longer intended for participation. Character assassination for comedy will go over better than character assassination for exploring suicidal ideation.

To Tempest, the view from 2,000 feet up was not unfamiliar. Alone in her observation blister, the world floated by far below, only she and her thoughts in the cage of metal and glass.

Everything was so small. The trees, the villages, the rivers, the ponies.

Tempest should think herself a god, with such a view, but quite the opposite was true. She felt small. Invible. Isolated. Alone. Unnecessary and unwanted.

The thought too was familiar: You should join them.

Oblivion was held back by a thin pane of glass. It would be so easy to blast it to smithereens and step into nothingness.

To fall. To disappear. To stop the pain once and for all.

She deserved it.

It would be so easy.

"Minion!" She called.

A moment later, a furred biped opened the hatch. "Commander?"

"Bring me our position."

"Ma'am".

She needed to think about something else.

7682184

Oh boy, this prompt sounds like the start of an addiction.

The sound of ringing ends upon hearing his voice, "Hello?"

"N-N-Noteworthy?" she stutters, "It's me, Oc-Octavia. I was wondering if we could possibly go on... o-on a... d-d-date."

"R... really?" his voice sounded surprised, "Like a boyfriend/girlfriend kind of date?"

"Y-y-yeah."

"I never expected you would see me that way. Alright, what time?"

Octavia makes a quick shiver. She covers the phone's mouthpiece, "VINYL!!" and glares back at her friend, "You kept saying that he wasn't into girls. You kept pressuring me into calling him. You kept suggesting that asking him out on a date would prove it. So now that he said yes, what now? WHAT IN MOZART'S CLARINET QUINTET AM I SUPPOSE TO DO NOW!?"

Vinyl keeps a straight face, staring at her frantic friend through her shade glasses. She addresses the issue with gentle care, by clenching a nob on her headphone and raising the volume.

7682303
You're free to interpret the prompt as you wish, as long as your entry is related to it. By all means Google for "just this once meaning" if you're stuck for a starting point, but I'm deliberately not going to say you must interpret the prompt in a particular way. That's part of the fun of prompt-based contests.

7682598
Thanks.

7682184

Close Call

Rainbow Dash was busy practicing her soccer ball when she accidentally kicked it into the yard of her neighbor's house.

"Uh-oh," She said, worryingly. Peeking over the fence, she spotted a large bulldog sniffing at her ball. "Hey! That's my ball, you know!"

The dog growled at her. She laughed nervously before hopping off the fence.

"What's wrong?" Twilight asked.

"A bulldog got my ball and I can't get it back!" Rainbow replied. "I need it for the tryouts today."

"Have you tried maybe asking the neighbor to get it back?" Twilight asked.

"Oh, right. Wow, my head's on backwards right now." Rainbow dashed back and forth with the ball in her hand, though it was covered in slobber, much to both their disgust.

Perhaps not the best one, or the most exciting, but here’s my submission for this month.

Just this once, I’d like to have a friend.

Perhaps you could be my friend?

No… You’re the viewer. You’re the reader. Maybe I’m just a figment of your mind. Maybe you’re a figment of mine, existing for this one moment.

Sigh… I’d like to say I could answer that. But nothing is for certain with me, for me, or around me.

I didn’t say my name, did I? I’m Discord. I’ve been stuck as a statue for the past thousand years. Before that, it was a comet. And before that…

I can’t remember. I just know I haven’t had a friend. I haven’t had anyone like me. I’ve just been stuck in a cycle, and never changing.

Maybe you won’t be my friend this time, but somebody, somepony, someone might be.

Even if I have to start the cycle over after this one time… I want a friend. Please.

It is no longer eligible for entry.

7682184
It’s not against the rules to do two entries, right? It is. And this one would be the one I’d want to put forward as the official entry.

Sombra frowned as he sat by the fire, trying to tune out the voice next to him.

“Pleeaaase?”

“No.”

“Pleeeaaaase?”

Sigh… “No.”

“Come on, I won’t ask again!”

“That’s what they all say, before they go and ask again.”

“Pleeeeeaaaaaase?!”

“Oh, for the love of-“ Sombra rubbed his forehead with a clenched hoof. “I am not getting you Ice Cream!”

Cozy pouted, sitting back down. “Chrysalis won’t get it for me, and everypony would see Tirek from a mile away! So it’s gotta be you!”

Sombra snorted. “There’s no chance in Tartarus I’m taking orders from you. I don’t even know what this ‘Ice Cream’ is!”

Cozy gasped in surprise. “You haven’t eaten the most delicious thing in the history of ever?”

“…I’m sorry, did you say the most delicious thing ever?”

“Yes.”

Sombra ignored the smug grin as he made his way to the exit. “Fine. Just this once.”

7682947 Only one per person (Rule #2), so you’ll have to choose which of those is your “official” submission.

7682950
Darn. Thank you for pointing it out, though.

7683044
I would encourage you to at least remove the reply to the prompt post to reduce the chance for confusion. Observe how I handled changing my mind by editing my original post:
7682381

Initial entry archived below, no longer intended for participation.

7682860

It is no longer eligible for entry. Is that enough, Kwirky?

Hear ye, hear ye, official judge's comment, etc etc. As far as I'm concerned, if it's obvious then that's fine. Using the spoiler tags works. If there's a need to make any further rules on this, I'll let everyone know. For now, this is fine.

Is that enough, KwirkyJ?

These four words of excoriating passive-aggression are the last straw. I am done vacilling between disruptive and invisible, where my aim be to assist and articulate. This post is my final 'hurrah' in all four at once. This group shall not hear from me again -- I leave this only to explain to any who might see and care... I don't actually know what happens to a user's comments when they quit.

So long, and thanks for all the fish.
7683677

7684476
I did not intend to shove you out of the group, Kwirky. You have been doing good stories while here, and I’m sorry that you’re upset. I apologize for the passive aggressive behavior.

7682184
Lyra Debunks the Ex-Princess's Hoof Theory (based on Alumx video on the Hoof Debate)

"Please Lyra, use your... science to stop misinformation." Bon Bon pleaded to her friend, for once, for science. 

"Yes, it's my duty to prove Celestia wrong"

One day later

Knock

"As you can see, hooves are hard, not flimsy and soft-" 

"Liar!" Lyra proclaimed "How come are minds trick us into dreaming of soft hooves like you say! Do you think us delusional!" 

"As an anthropologist, I've done years of research comparing quadruped and human hands!" 

"I figured strength in all creatures, human or us inferior creatures, is softness. It is the softness that makes us embrace and makes us create!" 

Celestia was touched my Lyra's speech. But nonetheless, "Bah hearing is believing. Watch by hard tap. "

Soft noise

"For once, Lyra, your in your face attitude made a good distraction." Bon Bon said as she turned off the stock sound. 

"I thought you wanted me for my science!"

7682184

Not my best writing, but it works.

The manticore was right in front of them, slobber dripping from its jaws and stinger ready for attack.

Celestia and Luna were cornered. They had no magic, no flight, no strength, and no way out. Celestia had tried standing her ground, but that proved useless.

Luna stepped forward, carefully placing her hooves on the ground. The manticore curled its lip even more. It failed to scare her.

"Luna, what are you doing?"

Luna remained where she was. "Standing my ground."

"Luna, are you crazy!?" Celestia stepped forward. "That didn't work for me, why would it work for you? You're smaller than-"

"Tia, trust me."

"What?"

"Just this once, trust me!"

Celestia nodded and stepped back.

Luna flared her wings and, in her Royal Canterlot Voice, shouted, "Step away, you foal!"

The manticore fled.

"I-"

"Scaredy cat."

The sisters laughed.

7684476
If I'm interpreting your post correctly, I'm very sorry to see you go -- and while I won't push you I will say that if you change your mind, now or at any time in the future, you'll always be welcome here. On a practical note, I will consider your (unspoiler-tagged) entry a valid entry for this month unless you request that I not do so.

7682184
Have a sudden burst of creativity, so I'll just throw my hat in here for the first time.

She stood, shaking. Apprehensive. Longing. The darkness slowly peeled back from the green light in her eyes. Yet another darkness wrapped her. Deadly. Lively. She felt like reeling back from its touch, gourging her eyes out.

Still, she stood, in place, as the ground shook, and a gush of wind rushed through her back.

“Don’t…”

The voice was soft. Panting. Pleading.

Still, she stood, in place.

“Just this once…”

The steps were light. Approaching. “It’s a line you can’t cross.”

Her body trembled. “She’s the last one. I can’t lose her too. Just this once…”

“It'll never be just once. You can’t never go there, no matter how painful it is.”

She sneered. “What do you know about pai—”

Blue feathers wrapped her. Soft voice. Haunting voice. “I know all too well. Time won’t halt, even if you stop the Sun and Moon.”

The light dripped out from her eyes.

The morning exercises in the golden, glistening, inexorably hot Friday morning sun had been grueling. Tomas hadn't worked so hard since he was colt! Thankfully, he had found the perfect spot for lunch. One of the balconies adjoining the library: It looked out into an atrium in the castle, and it was nice and secluded. Plus It wasn't technically in the library, so librarians couldn't tell him he wasn't allowed to have food here. All his lunch needed to be truly perfect was Starswirl...

Tomas choked when Starswirl arrived.

Starswirl grinned, "See, I am growing faster than you."

Tomas growled.

Starswirl wiggled his chin, "This is the project I've been working on."

"It's terrible," Tomas knocked the railing. "A wispy affront to all Equestria!"

"Relax!" Starswirl eyed Tomas' sword, and then stoked his 'beard.' "It'll go..."

I'd like to say that when I saw the notification that the the entries for last month's contest had been judged, hon meshes declared and whatnot, I stopped and read through the whole thing.

I did not. Instead, in a terrible blunder, I thought, "Later." And then I didn't find out that I won the contest until, like, a week ago!

So, first of all, thanks! To everyone! And especially Elieensayshi, because that is the first time that anything I written on this website (and... maybe ever) has received genuine praise. Woohoo! Sorry about brushing off your judgments for so long.

Second, while I may have missed my last shot, I'm still kind of excited. There are still (hopefully) many more flashfic contests to come!

7687061

And especially Elieensayshi, because that is the first time that anything I written on this website (and... maybe ever) has received genuine praise. Woohoo!

You earned it!

7682184

Nothing Like This Should Ever Be Built Again (This Is Not a Place of Honor)

by MockingBirb

"I do feel kind of insulted," a little purple dragonling said.

"We followed the specifications!" insisted a pony wearing a yellow hard hat.

Spike read a pillar-mounted plaque in front of the bizarre landscape which covered the Equestrian Evil Artifacts Repository:

"This place is not a place of honor...no highly esteemed deed is commemorated here...nothing valued is here.

What is here is dangerous and repulsive to us."

"Really?" Spike said with an expression of disgust. "What is WRONG with you?"

The pony pointed at a document. "To make the place unappealing and keep ponies out, we're supposed to cover it with ugly spikes. Page 3904, paragraph three. Read it yourself."

Spike tapped a page. "But look at the diagram. You're supposed to cover the landscape with sharp, pointy obstacles. You're not supposed to cover it with grotesque, twisted statues of ME making hideous faces and picking my nose!"

https://www.damninteresting.com/this-place-is-not-a-place-of-honor/

https://www.antipope.org/charlie/blog-static/rants/nothing-like-this-will-be-buil.html

Fluttershy work up in the middle of the night, something wasn't correct, she could wake up her wife rd, but she seems so sound asleep.

the night enveloped her cottage, as something was knocking on her door, she could easily go back to wake up rd but her hoofs stopped her by carrying her towards the door.

it was most likely the wind she didn't need rd for this, but the knocking got louder and then the door suddenly opened... something flashed inside and, bang the door closed.

"hello intrude i hope you don't mind but were trying to sleep here, so would you be ok to come backing the morning" she said to the darkness, but there was no response.

she felt tiered, must of been a dream.

she walked towards the bedroom to see a a sleeping scootaloo on the floor

"lets get you tucked in" Fluttershy said.

Just under 52 hours left to enter, everyone!

7682184
Been a while, but I thought I could do a little manipulation of this prompt in a couple ways. Hey, even manipulated the title into a double meaning.

Bad Judge of Character

Coco Pommel quietly entered the judge’s chambers. “My lawyer said you wanted to see me?”

Powdered Wig gestured toward a chair and shoved a report across the desk. “Blueblood will probably have a permanent scar.”

Coco nodded without looking up. “I-I couldn’t… He…” She wiped away the trickles on her cheeks.

“Yes, so the report says.”

The photo of a hatpin jabbed into Blueblood’s shoulder stared at Coco—another of it sewn up. Like a basket stitch.

“He’s my cousin.”

So her lawyer said. No chance of a fair trial with Wig ever, especially not with her cousin involved. They’d throw the book at Coco.

“What else did you do to him? Any previous offenses?”

“Just this.” She pointed at the picture. “Once.”

Wig gritted her teeth. “Not his first time,” she muttered.

“So what’ll you be?” Coco asked. “Strict?”

“Just.” Wig scrawled “dismissed” on her form and signed. “This once.”

7682270 7682316 7682381 7682421 7682745 7682947 7684992 7685098 7685338 7687061 7687603 7691125 7691669

And time's up, everyone! A pleasing entry this month, and it's always particularly good to see newcomers. Three of them, no less! Welcome to all of you, and thank you to everyone who entered.

Feedback is now open!

Oh, and also: there's a special one-week "not actually FF150" contest in the linked thread, using a prompt provided by Merallakos, to compensate for their not being able to choose the actual prompt this month. Do check it out if you like!

To be clear, though: this is the FF150 thread, that is the bonus thread. Please keep comments on each in their relevant threads. Thanks!

7687603
Very cleverly done and a good background link! For me, this was the most amusing of the submissions this month.

7685098
Good use of the Royal Canterlot Voice!

7682270 RIP, Trixie.

7682316 Only the strong survive! Oh, I'm not the strong one. I take it back!

7682381 I thought the Princesses were alicorns so that they'd never run out of quils.

Commander?

7682421 I thought he doesn't date OCs

You're not an OC, Octavia...

7682745 Say that you got scolded by a neighbor without saying you got scolded by a neighbor.

7682860 And now he has 3.

7682947 Sombra brings back the head of Celestia.

"Oh golly! Mr. Sombra, that is not ice cream!"

"I thought you said it's delicious..."

7684992 And that's why ponies wear socks.

7685098 Thank you Luna, but now I have to ban you to the moon because your voice is too powerful for Equestria to handle.

7685338 Mmm, foreplay.

7687061 Thomas, would you like to be a train?

7687603 Sharp, pointy obstacles. We're still in line with the specifications. Now if you'll excuse me, sharp, pointy obstacle, we have more work to do.

7691125 Can I sleep with your wifu?

Sure, chicken. You can sleep with my wifu.

7691669 If Will Smith got away with it, so can I!

7682270
I admire you for always sticking to your guns. And for its intended purpose, the story is not half bad.

7691669
Interesting interpretation of the prompt, although I feel it would have worked better had the prompt been "Just this one" instead.

The story doesn't redeem Powdered Wig much for me, especially with the last "this once" line.

I also cannot feel Coco's emotion. Her action seems to be quite nonchalant for a meek pony facing a dire situation.

Coco nodded without looking up. “I-I couldn’t… He…”

I think it would connect better to the previous part if she said "I-I didn't mean to...He..."

—another of it sewn up. Like a basket stitch.

Don't really understand this part. Can you explain?

7692539 What are my guns?

I can't see them because I just do what I do. But you're looking from the outside. Maybe you can tell me what my guns are?

7682184

Aw dang, I just missed it. I'll post anyway for funzies.

"Oh come on, please?"

"No."

"B-But, Rainbow Dash---"

"I said no, Scoot."

"But you always say no. You only need to say yes one time!"

"How many times do I have to explain this to you, kid? You. Are. A. Filly."

"But it would be so cool! Just this once?"

"I WILL NOT MARRY YOU!"

7692509
“How does Celestia taste delicious?! What are you, a vampony?!”

“…You know too much, I must kill you now.”

7692877 "But you are my wifu!"

7693226 Well this is Sombra we're talking about...

Belated review/snark time!

7682270 Suddenly the Manticore Mouth Dive doesn't seem so unappealing, does it? Also, Trixie, there are families here!

7682316 Dashie is incorrigible. And she doesn't know the meaning of the word.

7682381 Just pluck the pegasus guards' wings, Luna! It's not like the palace security has ever been useful in any other way! A solidly funny entry.

7682947 Cozy Glow strikes me as more of a lollipop type. But ice cream does seem like a less-likely-to-backfire pursuit for Sombra than singlehandedly conquering a kingdom. Unless he's lactose intolerant.

7682745 And Rainbow's backwards head proceeded to terrify the other team into submission.

7682421 Clearly Noteworthy doesn't know what website he's on if he thought he was about to go on a heterosexual date. This got a good laugh.

7684992 Celestia should probably stop holding "blatantly obvious facts" lessons if she didn't want some human-loving nut to burst in and challenge her. Haven't quite figured out what Bon Bon is supposed to be doing here.

7685098 Better get that Cowardly Manticore to see the Wizard of Oz, stat!

7687061 This feels more like "Just This One [Hair]" than "Just This Once". The dialogue between the two is solid; the prelude feels mostly unnecessary.

7687603 I laughed hard at this one. Great setup, excellent punchline. Reading it again just now, I still laughed. If I was judging again, this would be my pick. (No, not that kind of pick!)

7691125 Scootaloo pulls a "Denny from The Room" in trying to worm his way into a couple's bed.

7685338 Good atmosphere, interesting dialogue. Paints an interesting picture, even if the figures within are obscured.

7691669 As if modern Equestria ever prosecutes any crimes lower than attempted theft/annihilation of all magic.

7693720

Trixie, there are families here!

Err, she just tucked it in her tail. What kind of corrupted mind do you have?

As if modern Equestria ever prosecutes any crimes lower than attempted theft/annihilation of all magic.

It's not like the old Equestria.

7692548

What are my guns?

Rhetorical question?
Don't worry. Your antics are, to me at least, much funnier than the trolling of some other people.

7693720

even if they figures within are obscured.

I assumed the implication was quite obvious, but maybe it was just because I was the writer, so of course I knew what I was talking about.

Would like to hear what you think the story is about.

7693810 I’m assuming the second voice (blue feathers, “Sun and Moon”) is Luna? But I’m not sure who person A is and who they’re trying to save. I didn’t realize it was supposed to be a specific character… an immortal Twilight wanting to prevent her last remaining Mane 6 friend from dying of old age?

7693720

Celestia should probably stop holding "blatantly obvious facts" lessons if she didn't want some human-loving nut to burst in and challenge her. Haven't quite figured out what Bon Bon is supposed to be doing here.

Bon Bon was using Lyra to distract Celestia while Bon Bon turned off the sound effect from some electronic machine that made Celestia's hoof sound sound like a hard knock.

Which made Lyra angry since the real reason Bon Bon used her was just as a distraction, not because of Lyra's scientific ingenuity.

One day I'm planning a longer version of this fanfic.

7693825
Yeah, you almost got it.

"She's the last one" implies it was Twilight trying to save the last one of the other mane 6. The green eyes and all the dark descriptions indicate she was attempting dark magic. I was going for a resurrection spell (implied by "Lively"), but honestly any kind of undead magic you'd like to imagine it was would do.

The other one was obviously Luna. She tried to stop Twilight because she knew how it would turn out. With "it'll never be just one" and her last lines, I wanted to imply that Luna herself attempted this before, and that was the real reason behind "the night shall last forever" long ago.

In the end, Twilight understood the implication in what Luna said, and realized the foolishness and hopelessness of it all. She cried as she let go of the dark magic (the green light "dripped out from her eyes").

7693919
Ah gee, my interpretation was way off the mark then.
I thought this was an Appledash fic. Applejack was dying and she was trying to tell Rainbow not to kill herself.

Blue lines are RD, orange is AJ.

She stood, shaking. Apprehensive. Longing. The darkness slowly peeled back from the green light in her eyes . Yet another darkness wrapped her. Deadly. Lively. She felt like reeling back from its touch, gourging her eyes out.

I was thinking the green eyes were Applejack's. The use of pronouns here makes for a lot of variability in how you interpret "gourging her eyes out," is it RD wanting to gouge her own eyes, or AJ's?

I will say that "green" doesn't conjour dark magic. Maybe something like "corrupt" would be better.

Still, she stood, in place, as the ground shook, and a gush of wind rushed through her back.

This line is the arrival of a another party, but I dunno... It seems vague? Like, now that I know what it's supposed to be it's obvious, but I didn't get until it was pointed out.

“Don’t…”

The voice was soft. Panting. Pleading.

Still, she stood, in place.

“Just this once…”

The steps were light. Approaching. “It’s a line you can’t cross.”

Her body trembled. “She’s the last one. I can’t lose her too. Just this once…”

Here Applejack is telling RD not to do something. "just the once" and "It's a line you can't cross" implies a lot of finality. Death is very final. It's kind of contrived, but the idea is that RD wants to cross the border between life and death, and "just the once," is a rationalization RD is using, like, "Oh I'll just eat this chocolate, it'll be just this once. No big deal."

The next few lines really shatter, but being invested in the Appledash interpretation,

Blue feathers wrapped her. Soft voice. Haunting voice. “I know all too well. Time won’t halt, even if you stop the Sun and Moon.”

If RD was trying to commit suicide to join AJ after death, it wouldn't make sense for AJ to tell RD time will continue for RD? However, she could be implying that if RD kills herself, it won't be the end of trouble for everyone else. Or that the suicide method Dash has chosen won't work, and she'll just end up with more to live with.

I still can't cohere the blue feathers thing. It doesn't make sense for RD after what she previously said and the line that accompanies it, so it has to be the third party. Or maybe there was a time skip. This is complicated though, because "Blue feathers" to me indicates RD's presence, and the fact that I read the blue lines in vague RD voice is why I thought this was Appledash.

The light dripped out from her eyes.

And Applejack died.

I don't know how, uh, kosher it is to touch other people's work like this? But I think this piece could benefit from more precise wording, and a little clearer formatting. Here is my version:

She stood, shaking. Apprehensive. Longing. The darkness slowly peeled back from the malintented light in her eyes. Yet, another darkness wrapped her-- lively somehow. She felt like reeling back from its touch, gouging her eyes out.

But, she stood in place.

The ground shook, and a gush of wind rushed through her back. “Don’t…”

Still, she stood, in place. “Just this once…” The voice was soft. Panting. Pleading.

The steps were light. Approaching. “It’s a line you can’t cross.”

Her body trembled. “She’s the last one. I can’t lose her too. Just this once…”

“It'll never be just once. You can’t never go there, no matter how painful it is.”

She sneered. “What do you know about pai—”

Indigo feathers wrapped her. Her soft, haunting voice. “I know all too well. Time won’t halt, even if you stop the Sun and Moon.”

The corrupted light fizzled from her eyes.

7692542
These are my thoughts almost exactly! I just can't a clear read on this one.

Coco is crying because she stabbed Blueblood, she feels guilty and the trial isn't going to be fair. But like, what does the dialogue mean? I don't understand what it's alluding to. And the last line, that's really clever word play, but Coco clearly feels guilty. It seemed clear to me that stabbing Blue Blood was wrong somehow (unless Wig mentioning it's not the first time he's been stabbed was meant to imply that Blueblood is causing ponies to stab him because he's a terrible pony somehow?), and Wig saying he's going to be Just (which is a subversion of how Wig is setup to be totally unjust) then dismissing the case doesn't make any sense!

I will defend this though:

The photo of a hatpin jabbed into Blueblood’s shoulder stared at Coco—another of it sewn up. Like a basket stitch.

This is probably the most vivid and moving parts of this fic. It's about Blueblood's shoulder, so first there's a photo of his shoulder with the pin in it, and the next is of it after, and it looks like...

Oh wait a minute, I thinking a basket stitch was like, a blanket stitch or something.

Well it makes sense if you think the stitch is, well a stitch and not a weave? And the simile gives Coco a cool depth in that she's relating the flesh stitching to fabric stitching.

7692542

I feel it would have worked better had the prompt been "Just this one" instead.

Perhaps, but unfortunately, I didn't get to choose the prompt. Furthermore, I think the way it is works better than if the prompt had been that, since the last line would be a poorer fit then than this one is now. So yeah, not optimal overall, but the better of the two options.

The story doesn't redeem Powdered Wig much for me, especially with the last "this once" line.

I mean... that's the point. She's not supposed to be redeemed. She's a terrible person, and only extreme disgust on her part made her do the right thing.

Her action seems to be quite nonchalant for a meek pony facing a dire situation.

I'm curious what makes you feel like she's acting nonchalant. She's crying, she can't look at the judge, she's too flustered to speak, she's envisioning the worst-case scenario happening to her.

Don't really understand this part. Can you explain?

Sewing is her thing. I like to have characters see things through their personal mindset. It's also a subtle joke that I doubt anyone got, but not one Coco intended as a joke.

I'm also curious: aren't you going to review anyone else's entries?

7694509
Based on the questions you're asking, a lot of this went over your head. No, Wig wasn't saying Blueblood had been stabbed before. She's saying he'd done... whatever it is he's done to Coco before. He considers himself untouchable, so he took Coco to court for her assaulting him, and Wig is dismissing the case against Coco. That she's the one subject to the case here is shown by her narrating that they were going to throw the book at her.

7694509
Hmm, very interesting interpretation. It doesn't come together perfectly toward the end, but I can see why someone would have such line of thought. In retrospect, the story wasn't as obvious as I thought it would have been. 150 words is not an easy limit to try and fit everything in, as I found out for the first time – I already had to comb a lot of things out myself. Perhaps I should have just colored the dialogues blue and lavender to make it clear who were talking. It might have been too on the nose, but maybe it would have been better that way. Well, lesson learned.

I was thinking the green eyes were Applejack's.

It wasn't exactly "green eyes", but rather "green light in the eyes", though I understand the confusion. I used "green light in the eyes" because it was frequently depicted in the show when somepony used or was possessed by dark magic, like in s3 premier when Celestia demonstrated Sombra's magic to Twilight, and later when Twilight used it herself, and also Rarity in 'Inspiration Manifestation'.

Still, she stood, in place, as the ground shook, and a gush of wind rushed through her back.

Yes, this one indicates that somepony (Luna) landed behind Twilight with high velocity, making the ground shake and wind blow through Twilight's back. In my mind scene, Twilight had hidden herself in a secluded place to attempt the resurrection spell, while everypony was rushing to find her. Luna found her first, and dashed in to stop her.

It also indicates Twilight's resolve (and resignation) as she did not flinch, both from the dark magic and from the fact that she was found.

I don't know how, uh, kosher it is to touch other people's work like this?

Don't worry. Unlike some people, I don't mind at all others suggesting rewrites of my works. It's always good to have ideas bounce back and forth – ideas are always made better that way. They're all just suggestions in the end. The writers have the full right to take them or leave them if they don't want, and everyone can evaluate for themselves whether the rewrites are better than the original. I myself love suggesting my own takes of others' works as well, both as a reviewer and an editor, although it's certainly not always well-received. But I think being worked up about it just feels like you're afraid people are upstaging you. After all, aren't we essentially all doing the same thing to the show itself, by writing fanfics of it?

...from the malintented light...

You mean like "sinister"? I think it's a bit too telling, and actually more ambiguous than "green light" in indicating it was dark magic.

...wrapped her-- lively somehow.

I think the original is better. "Deadly" gives another implication about the nature of the magic she was using. And the juxtaposition reads better.

But, she stood in place.

I actually thought a lot about this during writing. My original version was "Yet", but I changed to "Still" for two reasons. One is that "Yet" was repetitive of a previous sentence ("Yet another darkness wrapped her."). The other, more important one is that "Still" is better because it's a play of word: "Still" as in yet/but, and "Still" also as in motionless, unflinching, indicating Twilight being unmoving (both literally and figuratively) under Luna's arrival and plea.

And as I explained earlier, the "as" is an important connection. It makes Twilight response not just toward the dark magic in the previous part, but also toward Luna's arrival. Separating into two sentences robs away one important thing that Twilight had to response to.

Still, she stood, in place. “Just this once…” The voice was soft. Panting. Pleading.

I was going for Luna who was panting (because she'd just flied in at max speed) and pleading, while Twilight was kind of both calm (goes well with the "still" part above) and resigned (she gave up on holding to her moral like she did when her previous friends died because of the pain of losing the last one, and was ready to commit an act against nature).

Indigo feathers wrapped her.

I actually see more people describing Luna as having (dark) blue coat and feathers, while for Rainbow it's usually "cyan". "Indigo" might be a good replacement, although I'm not too sure, as it's actually more rare that you see Luna described as "indigo". It might actually cause more confusion.

Her soft, haunting voice.

I think using possession is not really necessary here – you have a good idea whose voice it was. It doesn't flow as well as the original in my opinion. Also, as you might notice, every "she/her" in the story refers to Twilight. There is actually no direct indication of Luna, no "she" or "her". That was intentional, because I want the story to go from the perspective of Twilight, and all focus on Twilight. Using two different "she" or "her" in the story might actually be more confusing (which "her" is Twilight, which "her" is Luna?).

The corrupted light fizzled from her eyes.

As I explained before, the original was a subtle indication that Twilight cried. Too subtle, perhaps, and maybe not many people caught up on it. Still, I feel it's stronger that way.

7694602

I'm also curious: aren't you going to review anyone else's entries?

Really sorry. I take very long time to write anything. I actually spent the whole afternoon and half evening just writing the responses to you and 7694509. And being quite busy, I can only select one story I feel most interesting to comment on. Hope you don't feel that as I'm targeting you. It's actually the indication that I like your story the most.

I mean... that's the point. She's not supposed to be redeemed. She's a terrible person, and only extreme disgust on her part made her do the right thing.

Well, if she's not supposed to be redeemed at all, then I feel the story loses some of its meaning. I mean, "Bad judge of character" somewhat implies that there's some integrity in Powdered Wig, and we should view her in some positive light by the end. The story doesn't manage that for me.

That's another reason I feel if the prompt had been "Just this one", it would have made the story better. You could make it that it was not Powdered Wig who was always corrupted, but the system itself. And being in a corrupted system, maybe having been going with the flow on her own (or forced to), but Powdered Wig still had quite a lot of integrity in her.

"Just. This once." just completely kills any redeeming quality of Wig.

I'm curious what makes you feel like she's acting nonchalant.

Yes, at first she seemed in character for someone being terrified. But in the later part, I feel her lines and actions were a bit nonchalant. I mean, someone being fearful of the judge being hostile toward them wouldn't just casually ask the judge, "So what’ll you be? Strict?" And if the judge asked them, "What else did you do to him? Any previous offenses?", they would stammer to explain, something like "N-no, just this, once. I swear." They wouldn't give sharp, short answer while pointing hoof like Coco did.

But maybe it's just me looking too deep into it.

Sewing is her thing. I like to have characters see things through their personal mindset.

It's a bit confusing. It reads like Coco stabbed Blueblood twice, and somehow the first one was a long cut, not a puncture like you usually have with a hatpin. And the medic stitched the first cut up, while still leaving the hatpin jammed in Blueblood's shoulder for some reason, then proceeded to take a picture of it, before continuing to fix him up.