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I read: Completed as of this review at 6,114 words, 3 chapters
I rate: 6/10
I recommend: Read if you like OctaScratch or want to see humanized MLP travel around the UK.

I must admit, I knew less about the island of Britain before I read this story. However, that begs the question: How much “heart” is required to save a story?

Well, I don’t have a set measure for that, unfortunately. However, I would say that this story somehow manages in spite of what would normally be considered a rather unmotivated plot. That being Vinyl’s insecurities over proposing to her girlfriend, Octavia. And I say its unmotivated because the way Ms Scratch is written here sort of shows her to just be insecure and nervous rather than actually warranted in her fear that Octavia will refuse her. After all, Vinyl’s shown to a talented and successful musician, a reasonably intelligent and likeable person, and also Octavia can barely keep her hands off her. Vinyl seems to worry for the sake of worrying and that doesn’t make for the most interesting reading.

My second criticism would be the narration. TeddieAtWork’s prose is standard - it's nothing to write to England over. Although he goes to the efforts of describing scenes and actions and generally avoiding leaning too much to the “Tell” side of narration, his choice of words and grammar doesn’t paint that attractive of a picture. Yes, I know what Shepherd’s Pie is now but, from the way he tells it, I don’t want to eat it.

In a similar way, the dialogue doesn’t astound. It isn’t bad but isn’t special. Words get reused a lot and that really saps any distinction between the character voices. If they speak the same way, I don’t get an impression that Octavia is supposed to be this unapproachable English Rose of a lady. She’s just an unremarkable person who happens to play cello really well. And, again, that cuts apart Vinyl’s fears if everything seems to be normal and accepting of her.

Of course, this might be the writer’s intent - to show Vinyl as a very anxious and insecure person whose stage persona is really just an act. If so, I do hope that the following chapters of the story will tackle this instead of being relatively forgettable slice of life interposed with relatively cliche dream sequences. 

Plot: 3/5. So far it seems like Vinyl’s whiny and Octavia’s lacking in any personality past a stiff upper lip, making the whole conflict rather unwarranted.
Characters: 3/5. The characters are serviceable but they’re also quite forgettable - you’ve seen OctaScratch before to better effect.
Style: 3/5. Painting a picture of England is a nice touch but the “choice of paint” needs some editing.
Execution: 3/5. The romance is cute enough and I’d be vaguely interested to see where this goes.
Overall Rating: 12/20 = 6/10

To TeddieAtWork: You’re clearly passionate about this and that is, in part, what really encouraged me to read and review the story in the course of two days. However, I would advise you to look at some other romances and maybe rework or expand upon Vinyl’s character, as well as giving Octavia some character of her own. TV Tropes has a good article on this subject. Otherwise, I like where it's going and I would be interested to see where the “Adventure” tag comes into play.

For something like this:
University Days also has the same romance develop, albeit in the titular university rather than everyone's favourite crumpet-eating nation.
Spare Some Change? is also a shipfic but I found the romantic conflict to be especially strong.

As always, thank you for reading. If you like this review, you might like some of my other works too.

7006845
Nice review, Leroy! Though since we're talking about TaviScratch The Things Tavi Says by SS&E is a really great one (and incidentally also one of my favourite fics on this site )!

Also, you mentioned the dialogue here being less than stellar...

Ah, hope you don't mind me chiming in a little here, Leroy

7006853
There are specific problems I saw with the dialogue in here. There's very obvious exposition that appears often in the dialogue: exposition of backstory, characters explaining their actions when they don't really need to, it all reads incredibly awkwardly. You don't really need to have characters explain everything in dialogue, as their motivations should be shown through their actions. Cuz "show, don't tell" also applies to dialogue, not just narration.

Anyway, good luck with the rest of your story!