[Unpublished stories cannot be embedded]

I read: Completed at 3,809 words, 1 chapter
I rate: 8/10
I recommend: Read it, especially if you like Diamond Tiara or Silver Spoon or angst in general.

Curiously, I actually read this one before Saberking2012 requested that it be reviewed. What can I say? I like Silver Spoon; she reminds me of Kneesocks except, well… less R rated. Yeah, let’s go with that. And, relevantly, I liked it then too. The story that is, not PaSwG. But I liked that too.

The basic plot of this is that Silver Spoon, our lovable narrator and sidekick, gets a text from Diamond Tiara pretty late at night that asks her to sneak out of the house and meet her in the local park. After checking the story tags and discovering that, no, this isn’t Romance, I read on. Silver does as requested and winds up to find Diamond with a nasty bruise across her face. (This is humanized, by the way - don’t let the cover art fool you) Diamond then proceeds to regale Silver about how she acquired said bruise in a long and well-written monologue that basically boils down to her mother being an utter [word I’m not allowed to say on this forum anymore] and refusing to change for the better, like she and her father did.

Now, what sells this story is the dialogue. Being a very dialogue heavy story, it’d have to. And it does - both Silver and Diamond are in character and have distinct voices that are enjoyable enough to listen to. There wasn’t a line that was particularly outstanding or anything but the whole conversation they have is perfectly serviceable and quite fitting for kids their age - topics discussed notwithstanding.

The whole conclusion is very heartwarming and definitely creates a sense of hope and progress. Normally, I don’t harp on about morals in fiction (namely as most of the fiction I write has the bad guy winning and that is not a good moral for little kids at all) but here I think it is noticeable. Silver stresses that Diamond did the right thing, being redeemed and all, and that her mother’s actions were not Diamond’s fault at all. Although neither of them have a perfect solution for this whole issue, Silver is still willing to support Diamond through it as best she can - offering her a place in her own house, as long she can stand her father’s inane stories. Yes, a good promotion of friendship and wholesome message indeed. 

Plot: 4/5. Spoiled Rich being an abusive parent isn’t new but is handled well here with a good degree of severity - I would say that the story does end a little abruptly though.
Characters: 5/5. Silver and Diamond are well-written and quite nuanced here - they’re believable people who you really feel for, and Diamond’s parents also seem worryingly realistic.
Style: 3/5. Nothing overly stands out here, good or bad.
Execution: 4/5. A very enjoyable comfort fic indeed.
Overall Rating: 16/20 = 8/10

To Saberking2012: Good work here. My advice to you would be to obviously keep writing and, hopefully, write a sequel to this. Honestly, I don't have too much to say here because there isn't really that much constructive criticism I can give to something that's already actually good. However, I might recommend doing a little more description of appearance and scenery here - there was some but a little more can really kick a story from good to great. Writing techniques like Pathetic Fallacy can be very helpful here.

For something like this:
Cubic Zirconia discusses similar themes, but is set in Equestria and handles Diamond’s redemption as well as her abusive parentage.

If you read this because you like Silver Spoon, Exchange of Spoons (Revised) also shows her character off well, in addition to comparing it to a more heroic Diamond Tiara.

As always, thank you for reading. If you liked this review, feel free to check out my other writing here.

Saberking is a good writer, it's such a shame they have such a low view count...

7009757

(This is humanized, by the way - don’t let the cover art fool you)

Yea, I have to apologize for that one. It was the closest thing I could find to what worked since outside the (hu)man 6/7, there's little to work with(at the time of posting it). Aside that, I'm glad you liked it. Not gonna lie-When you brought up the romance bit, It took me a good minute to realize you said there wasn't(I wasn't really awake at the time of reading the review). But I'm thankful for the review.

Hopefully, should you ever get around to my other content, they'll be to your liking.