TDemon of the Deep

• MLP: FiM
• Dark
• Horror
• Mystery

Twilight journeys to Saddle Arabia in search of a cure for Rarity's endless night terrors. But what price will she have to pay for the answers she so desperately seeks?

• Gore
• Violence
• Twilight
• OC

Mystic Mind · 11k words  ·  33  1 · 1.3k views

Summary:
In the previous story, since this is a sequel, Rarity was somehow cursed in Saddle Arabia as I understood from the sequel. Now Twilight does everything to cure her, means, after she over studied the theme, and get hold back by Celestia for her own health sake, moves to Saddle Arabia to find answers.

The story is supposed to be a horror, mystery, dark story with gore and violence. Well, it definitely has mystery, and I would say a good portion of it, a bit of dark and gore, but horror, not so much sadly. Also, we have a bit of a mix of Slice of Life with Adventure here.

The story starts with a bit of social interaction between Spike, Discord, Celestia and Twilight, setting up the mood and pointing the story in a certain direction. The author did a good job on the start in my opinion, we getting most of the necessary infos, along with some motivation for the characters.

The middle part is a mix of Slice of Life kind dialogs with a lot of mystery to it, I liked it. Twilight prepared for her trip to an ancient ruin and while doing so, encounter some other characters who spiced things up a bit along with some mysterious events. Also, some questions arise, and together with the solid writing style, it entertains enough.

Well without spoiling anything particular, about the ending, well I would say here the author could have worked a bit on more. It is clear what they are going for and the writing itself is okay, but sometimes more indeed would have been more.

*

To bring it on the point, this story is entertainingly written, with a good flow and interesting mystery elements, though, it could have used a bit more 'flesh on the bones'. A bit more scary here and there, a bit more extend on some scenes, especially in the late mid story. This way it feels bit rushed at some points which drops the atmosphere and not match with the stories own tags.

***

Rating:

Characters: 7.5/10 Yes, fair enough, a bit of questionable behaviour here and there, but still okay.

Story: 6.5/10 The idea itself is good, and gave room for much good content and interesting plot, but the author sadly miss some opportunities here

Writing style/Flow 8/10   Well, while reading I never had a 'boring' part or uninteresting stuff to go through on mass, just a bit lack of the promised tags, so from the writing itself it is fine. 

22/30 = 7,3/10

I was a little unsure of the tags, since it *contained* gore, but that wasn't a prominent feature. I will admit this fic was a little rushed to make the Halloween deadline, and the fact my editor isn't an MLP fan. But I'm glad you liked the story, and thanks for the review!