TAnarchy: Pony of Chaos

• MLP: FiM
• Romance
• Comedy
• Slice of Life

Fluttershy and Discord decide to have a child. May the Gods have mercy on their souls.

• Fluttershy
• OC
• Discord
• Main 6
• CMCs

Ninjadeadbeard · 154k words  ·  216  11 · 5k views

So, it looks like Ninja has managed to sneak another one of their stories into my request folder. And this time, in fact, it's the longest one of all, at a whopping 150k words, with a similar writing style to a previous story of theirs that I reviewed, Home Again.

But for those who haven't read that story or review, I guess I should give a quick rundown of what we have here today. 

Anarchy: Pony of Chaos is a story set after the events of The Last Problem. It mainly revolves around Fluttershy, Discord, the child they decide to have, Anarchy, and their daily life. The story begins as Anarchy is created by Discord, and tells of her first few months of existence — going to school, making friends, turning various buildings into lollipops, y’know, stuff everyone can relate to. It's written mostly in a Slice of Life tone, being constructed of little character-centric events that never stray too far away from the dramas of various relationships. 

And because of this, it's an incredibly endearing story, not least because Anarchy is like, really cute. The whole story is written in a light, distinctly comedic tone, with characters whose personalities are at once both charming and fun to read. There is some semblance of character arcs, but by and large the story doesn’t have an overarching plot which it follows.

You’d think that this would be a death sentence for a 150k word story, but as it turns out, this format of storytelling does in fact work at this scale. It’s just that the experience it creates is quite different from a conventional plot story.

And... I absolutely enjoyed reading through this story. The unique format meant that it was easy to pick up the story casually, which made it great for reading over a few days on the bus to work. 

Ninja has, as always, a knack for writing characters and character interactions in a fun, snappy way that is really enjoyable to read. The way the characters are written feels authentic, with many, many funny conversations and even some genuinely moving, heartfelt interactions. You really get the sense that these are characters Ninja has put a lot of thought into.

At the same time, the story’s format also creates its biggest flaw, in my opinion. Because so much of the story is made of various vignettes from the lives of a very, very wide cast of characters, it’s easy to lose engagement with the story as well, especially at the more unfocused points of it. The only thing that prevents this from being a bigger problem is Ninja’s particularly enjoyable writing style.

Next, also related to the above problem, the supporting cast of characters is rarely developed, even the ones who Anarchy considers part of her group of friends. Aside from Anarchy herself, Cheese, Flawless and Pearl, there’s no one in her group that’s really memorable to me, and I honestly couldn’t tell you their names. Also, several of the characters in this story are very, very peripheral to Anarchy’s life, and have little to no effect on the main story. Luster, Celeste, Starlight, and several other characters all fall into this category. The result is a supremely bloated cast of characters which could really have been cut down quite a lot, and which end up getting in the way a lot of the time.

Another gripe with the story would be the final few chapters. For a story that had been meandering and sorta unfocused up till then, having a huge, drawn-out ending consisting of six chapters and two epilogues seems… unfitting, for some reason. That’s not to say that I didn’t enjoy it, of course

Final Score: 8/10
A funny, Slice of Life-esque story that is fun to read, easy to pick up and sometimes genuinely moving with heartfelt character interactions. Despite the lack of a solid overall plot structure, the story manages to feel interesting to read most of the time because of the well thought-out and well-written characters. At the same time, the large word count and massive cast of supporting characters make certain sections of the story easy to lose engagement with.

Bleh, what a short review. Guess it really is more difficult to write a long review for a good story. I’d originally planned to talk a bit more about what makes the story good in my opinion, but honestly I couldn’t find a topic that I’m confident enough to tackle in detail. Which is also partly why this is so short

7188579
A 154k words story, and one of your shortest reviews for it

I suppose it’s a strange sort of honor to get such a short review. I fully accept what criticism you have for it. Having a bloated cast is a flaw I seem to be particularly fond of for some reason.

The last story arc, which I’m actually kind of proud of, I will admit becomes a bit of a departure from the rest of the story. But, it was planned from the beginning, and in my mind, it was important for the main characters personal growth.

But! Since every writer is secretly a glutton for punishment, and wants to talk at length about their story, no matter who actually cares, I guess I’ll ask a couple quick questions.

Which was your favorite chapter or story arc? And, since the story is all about relationships, which ones were your favorite? Finally, did you have any specific or general questions for me about the story or characters?

7188610
My favourite arc is definitely The Beautiful Game. All the characters coming together for one massive event that's essentially an over-dramatic children's argument is exactly the sort of thing I'd expect for you to write well, and that it definitely was :P

As for the relationships... I dunno, I can't really decide. Discord's relationship with anyone? Cuz I really love the way you write Discord. And on that topic, I also really like your Grogar

And questions for you... I guess, do you have any specific approach to writing the story or the characters? Because my stupid brain still can't decide whether I'm gonna add that extra section at the end or not

7189918

As for the relationships... I dunno, I can't really decide. Discord's relationship with anyone? Cuz I really love the way you write Discord. And on that topic, I also really like your Grogar

Discord and Grogar's relationship is actually modeled, loosely, off my mother's relationship with her father. Growing up, he wasn't the nicest guy, let's leave it at that. And she resented him, a lot, and for good reason. But, when Grampa got older, he mellowed out somewhat. The grandkids (all dozen of us) loved him, and he was a kindly, doting grandfather with great stories from his time in WW2. Discord's little blow-up at Ann about Grogar not being a father, let alone a good grandfather, is almost a quote from my mother.

But, beyond that, I wrote Discord in a very specific way. I started from the position that Fluttershy hadn't throttled him in 20+ years of living together (as might be implied by the finale), so he must have outgrown his worst habits. The Discord in Anarchy is a Discord in much the same was as the Shining Armor we met in the show wasn't the same confident, self-assured stallion he was twenty years before his first appearance. Discord is someone I'd imagine being the end-product of a bad, bad, bad childhood with a lot of anger issues. I studied that stuff in college, so I have some experience with the psychology of angry children. Discord is basically slightly mellowed out now, but his relationship with Ann is based on proving he isn't his own father. So, he deliberately tries to zig where Grogar would zag.

He can't not be the !@#$-up we all know and love, but he's making a concerted effort to be the parent he never had. He's an angry person who finally found love and acceptance, and is afraid of not being able to pass that onto his child, who he sees too much of himself in at times.

I guess, do you have any specific approach to writing the story or the characters?

Writing characters is oddly easy for me. I can hear their voices when I write them, and if something doesn't gel with how they were in the show, then I know I need to correct. When I write stories, I usually have one or more "scenes" in my head to start with. I then place the characters I want in the scene and try to figure out how they'd deal with it, and how they would have gotten there. Once my set-pieces have been established, I work on connecting the scenes with smaller ones. And the story grows as I continue that process.

Anarchy was originally planned as a 20-50k word story after the initial chapter hit. But as I wrote more and more connective scenes, the more I realized I needed more to give enough time for each character to develop from their starting point and reach the characterization I needed for their final placement. Anarchy herself has, like, three major arcs before the big, fancy, possibly vanity-project-tier final chapters. I tried very hard to flesh out her character in stages so that it felt like a natural progression.

If we're going back and forth with questions , then I'm curious as to what you thought specifically of Ann herself? And, I suppose, what did you think of the final arc in a vacuum, if it had been its own story/sequel to the other ones?

Oh, and of the many, many, many, many, way too many storylines and characters I shamelessly put into the story (it's a weakness I fear I shall never overcome), which, if any, would you like to see more of in a continuation of this story?

7190599
Ann is... really cute! I love her and her lisp, she's just so endearing

But I guess from a more storytelling perspective, she's pretty interesting too. Her parents being Fluttershy and Discord gives her character like, natural duality? I think there should probably be a better word for that, but whatever

As for which characters I'd like to see more of... probably Shady. Having a separated family like he does could probably makke for some interesting stories :derptyongue2:

Also, Kirins are awesome xP

Sorry for the delayed replies! I've been having some wacky shifts because of the coronavirus situation. And also I got into playing Hollow Knight this week

Aw, no worries. At least I’m getting to talk about the story at all. I know I’ve told others to not let it get to them in the past, but I can’t help but feel a little discouraged to finish the story and get so little feedback on it. A couple of folks I see regularly commenting just sort of disappeared when I got to the finale, and I’ve been second-guessing myself ever since. But, considering I have regular readers, I suppose this is something of a First-World/Fanfiction problem.

If I come up with any more questions, I’ll most likely just pm you instead of further cluttering up the board. Thank you, again, and truly for the nice review!