EApple Bread

• MLP: FiM
• Random
• Slice of Life

Applejack catches a whiff of Apple Bloom's newest culinary creation.

• Applejack
• Apple Bloom
• Big Mac

TheLegendaryBillCipher · 1.2k words  ·  25  0 · 573 views

Two reviews ago I started with TheLegendaryBillCipher’s Potato Dog, and today we’re going to be continuing with this trilogy with Apple Bread. Much like that Potato Dog, Apple Bread keeps in line with the slice of life, fluffy genre, although this one has noticeably less robots and romance than the last one. Still, it’s a pretty cute story that doesn’t have a big story or point, but doesn’t really need one. Let’s hit it.

Much like last time, the plot is simple. Apple Bloom is bored and decides to try making fruit bread. The result is apple bread and everyone loves it. There really isn’t much more to it than this.

Since this is a review I have to get into the nitty gritty so do bear with me. While this was a cute story overall I felt that there wasn’t really a driving force of the story and that the events just sort of happen. For example it’s mentioned that the kitchen smells of soot, and I personally would have thought Applejack would have been a little more panicked/concerned about this, but she just kind of takes it all in stride.

But I digress. For a story this short I wasn’t expecting much plot anyways. Beyond that the pacing of the story felt fine given its length and made for an easy, digestible read that didn’t last much longer than it needed to. 

I feel that the characters could have been a little bit stronger, or perhaps the author could have played a little more into the sibling aspect, because as it stands their relationship seems surface level and doesn’t go much beyond that.

Apple Bloom seems to be very intelligent for her age and answers a lot of the questions Applejack gives her, sure, but as I said before the dynamic seems a little bit stinted and I feel it could be a little richer than it currently is. 

There was one big problem I had with the prose, and that was the inconsistency of Apple Bloom’s accent. For the most part, the Apple Family accent is written with the dropping of the ‘g’ in ‘-ing’ words, yet there are a few parts where Apple Bloom does articulate the ‘g’.

One of her suggestions was baking

and specific cooking

Well, Scootaloo is hanging

And there was one instance where ‘eeyup’ was written as ‘eyep.’

Beyond that I had no real issue with the prose: the author writes in an enjoyable manner that remains engaging without being too taxing to read. Good job! 

Like the last one, the length plays into the stories favor here. I don’t think the read would have been as engaging were it 10,000 or even 5,000 words and it serves its purpose well. That does make it hard to critique, so I went in-depth with the small stuff that stuck out to me, because there really wasn’t much else to discuss.

Still, this is quite a solid piece as-is and has its fun moments. Check it out sometime if you like fluff!

On deck is Heat frost by Applejackisbest, another short one, so I may even get to it today. Who knows!

Deuces. 

If you like light, fluffy pieces and you liked Potato Dog, you’d probably like this story. 

Keep up the good work, looking forward to the next one! 

Plot: 6
Characterization: 7
Grammar: 8

Average: 7

Glad you liked it, Red. Hopefully I'll get #4 done sometime soon... as soon as I figure out which one is going to be #4.