ELighter Than Air

• MLP: FiM
• Romance
• Drama
• Slice of Life

Fluttershy waits for Pinkie Pie as Hearts and Hooves Day comes to an end.

• Fluttershy
• Pinkie

TheLegendaryBillCipher · 2k words  ·  34  1 · 858 views

Summary:: Hearts and Hooves Day is a busy time for many ponies, especially party ponies. Fluttershy knows this, but she can't help but worry if Pinkie Pie will return. Or maybe move onto somepony else.

Initial thoughts: I must admit to something before I review this story. I HATE valentine's day, or as ponies call it "hearts and hooves" day. For the longest time, and I do mean the longest time this day only caused me to be depressed that everyone else had someone and I was always alone. So I do admit that it's harder for me to like a story like this. It's a well written slice of life about two ponies and how they work together to make each other happy. It's a simple message, and one that I appreciate, I just don't really "like" how it's connected to hearts and hooves day. Like this story would have been fine without that. But I disgress, it's a good story, with simple cute and charming moments. FlutterPie is not a ship you see often, and I like my more "out of the box" ships. So it's good, just consider the first chunk of this me rambling on about why I hate this particular holiday. 8/10

Heart of the story: The romance is the main part of what makes a story like this work. If the two ponies that are together don't have that connection, the whole thing will fail to impress. I can safely say there's no need to worry here. Both Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy are in character here, and both show moments of helping the other understand why the two work so well together, despite all the odds. The atmosphere also plays an effect here. It starts out with a party, and that's how Fluttershy meets Pinkie through Rainbow Dash. This is a good way to get Fluttershy to meet other ponies, because well she's very shy and typically will keep to herself, so Rainbow giving her a little push helps push things along, and helps Fluttershy to see she can make friends, and even find love. 8/10

Characterization: : Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie are excellent here! I sense Fluttershy's internal struggle to "why does she like me" "why me" these are thoughts I actually have myself. Sometimes. I admit I'm a Fluttershy type, I never understand why people think I'm so special, but hey I'm glad people like me. Pinkie Pie is bubbly, bouncy, but mostly supportive. She knows not to take things too far, she doesn't ever want to make Fluttershy uncomfortable and that's a good message, and one that I value. No matter who you are with, you shouldn't make them uneasy, you should do all you can to ensure they are having a good time, without sacrificing the things you like. It's a solid characterization of Pinkie Pie. 10/10

Story/Concept: : The story is simple, it's a story about love, hearts and hooves day, and how connections are formed. It's fairly simple, but that doesn't make it any less interesting. It's actually harder to make these stories enjoyable because you see them so much. I think Bill here does a good job at selling his story. I admittedly probably wasn't the right one to fully appreciate it, but this is a solid charming little slice of life with romance. 8/10

Originality/Execution: Pfft. The whole "hearts and hooves" day story is overdone, and this is why I normally dislike stories like this. Because take hearts and hooves day out of the story and it would still work. The message, the characters, the plot. It would still be a good charming slice of life. but once you put on that holiday aspect, people are going to be more harshly if it's truly a great story, rather than a good story with charming moments. And while I still think Bill did a good job with this, some readers may not like that, whereas others will go "awwwwh" it honestly depends on how you feel towards the holiday. I fall into the hitting my head against the desk category. I liked this, but I didn't love it. And I feel a story like this should make you LOVE it as much as Fluttershy and Pinkie are very much in love. 6/10

Overall score and final thoughts: : This is a cute and simple slice of life story with romantic themes. The story will appeal to most readers, and most will enjoy it, but do be weary it is a holiday tied story, and some might not enjoy that as much. It all depends on the reader. I think most fans of FlutterPie and even romance fans will get some enjoyment out of this, and I'd recommend giving it a chance. Even if you don't like Romance, there's some cute and charming moments in here to enjoy.

Total score: 8+8+10+8+6=40/50
8/10

Headpat worthy:
Boop worthy: Yes
Meh worthy:
Cringe level:

To the author: Keep up the good work! Sorry for rambling a bit. But I really do like your writing, and your way of characterization. It's just so good and you keep it simple yet so refined. I am eager to see more from you.
Next up is The Calculus of Love by Lofty Withers, See ya soon!

I'm glad you liked it, Nailah. I'm sorry about Valentine's Day, I didn't know. sends hugs