ESolitary

• MLP: FiM
• Sad
• Slice of Life

Abandoned by the Wonderbolts Academy, Lightning Dust was left alone to pick up the shattered pieces of her soul.

• Rainbow Dash
• Lightning Dust

Stinium_Ruide · 1.1k words  ·  48  3 · 1.1k views

Solitary

by Stinium Ruide

Summary:

Abandoned by the Wonderbolts Academy, Lightning Dust was left alone to pick up the shattered pieces of her soul.

Initial Thoughts:
Of all the smalltime rivals and “enemies” of the Mane 6, there’s a handful (hoof full?) who either had extremely truncated or even nonexistent reformations. One of the worst offenders was Lightning Dust, the anti-Dash, who got a total of two episodes dedicated to her arc. Most people seem to have wanted to see her return and make some sort of amends with Rainbow Dash, and were severely disappointed that the last we saw of her was tied to a rocket and sent blasting off again, Team Rocket style. While I’m perfectly fine with characters have Negative Arcs (in which they end up in a worse place than where they started) I’m always up for a good redemption story. And that’s basically what we got here today.

My Reaction:
Right, so… this isn’t so much a story as it is an internal monologue. It’s a first person (pony?) narrative, following along with Lightning Dust’s thoughts as she goes over her personal failures and tries to come to terms with how her life has turned out, and where it can go from there. But, despite being more of a confession than a traditional narrative, it does a fantastic job at capturing a snapshot of her character and her life at the moment. That’s ultimately what I like most about this story, seeing that transformative moment in between moments. I’ve said before that stories don’t always need antagonists, or villains, and this is the perfect example of that. Lightning Dust isn’t up against anything… except herself. She’s the villain of her own life story, and the author captures that brilliantly.

My second thought, when reading this, was, wow. Lightning Dust’s vocabulary sure has improved! It actually becomes somewhat of an issue, to be honest. The voice of the narrator doesn’t read like the character, which leads to a little bit of a disconnect. It doesn’t sound like Lightning Dust, to the point where I forgot, at times, that’s who I was reading about. So, for a portion of the story, I couldn’t help but think this was, at times, a reflection of the author on their own life, as much as it was this character self-reflecting on hers. That can be good or bad, but I felt like, on the whole, it felt genuine.

Another note: Because this is more a snapshot of Lightning Dust, there’s not really a resolution. We never see if she got the redemption she was looking for. But that doesn’t really matter. This was a fascinating piece of character introspection, and it certainly succeeds at that.

Grammar:
9/10. There are no outstanding issues of grammar or spelling, as far as I could see. I also don’t grade down for purple prose. The worst thing I noticed in this story was the shifting of tenses, here and there. The narrator doesn’t seem to know if this is a present conversation or a recollection of the past, and it catches the eye once or twice.

Story:
10/10. There is none. Not really. But it being such a good character examination, it also doesn’t need one. And what’s there is, as I’ve said, a snapshot. We’re getting a piece of a larger story, trapped within the span of a flash of lightning.

Characters:
8/10. Lightning Dust exists in this story, and her introspection and self-reflection are fascinating to see and experience. But I can’t say, for certain, that it’s her. This isn’t just about her expanded vocabulary, but her characterization. It’s very different than what we see in the show (at least as far as The Washouts is concerned). She more operates as a mouthpiece, or a stand-in. She’s a well-written one, to be sure, but this story operates under a sort of pseudo-Alternate Universe logic, where character development is concerned. It’s hard to decide if such a character is meant to be compared to their show-self, and I agonized a lot on this score.

Final Word and Rating

9+10+8 = 27/30 = 90/100%

Solitary is a simple story, brilliantly told. We are given a glimpse into the life of a mare who recognizes her failings, and wants to do better. This is a character piece, less interested in what’s happening, and more about who this is happening to, and what does she think of herself. This story is a journey, and one that is worth reading, even if you aren’t necessarily a fan of Lightning Dust, or if you never thought once about the redemption of a fallen character.

To the author: If there is a weakness to this story, it’s in the prose, I feel. A first person/pony narrative still should seek to match the voice of the main character. This all feels a bit too… advanced, let’s say, for Lightning Dust. LD isn’t dumb, but this story reads like someone far more academic than a sports-mare.

If you’d like to discuss this review, or the story itself, please don’t hesitate to comment.

Thank you for taking your time to review my piece. You raise incredibly valid points that I must agree with and I seek to improve as I write the next portion of the story, as discussed. I'm elated that you actually enjoyed the piece!