TSunbeam

• MLP: FiM
• Dark
• Slice of Life

Twilight Sparkle has stepped down. This is how Equestria crumbled.

• Death
• Alt. Universe
• Luna
• OC
• Other
• Daybreaker

TheMajorTechie · 22k words  ·  42  9 · 993 views

Prequel to Splintershard by TheMajorTechie.

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Day by day, the rift in Equestria grows. The factions align, but nobody knows--

Will the nation still stand?

Or will it fade away, leaving only dust and sand?

Things are wild and chaotic right now, so let’s take a step back and wind down our anxiety levels with some reading and reviewing, hm? Today, I’m taking a look at an entry in the Splintershard universe, Sunbeam (almost wrote Sunbread… Now that would’ve been a very different story ).

Note: at the time of writing this review, Sunbeam has 81(?) chapters/segments. Alas, the story itself isn’t numbered… In terms of dates, the last chapter that I am reading up to was posted on 7/10/2020.

Plot and Setting

Sunbeam takes place roughly 70 years after Twilight ascended as the One True Ruler™ of Equestria, specifically the end of her reign and the aftermath as the nation struggles to keep itself together without someone officially at the helm. Told in 100-500 words per chapter, TheMajorTechie tells the prequel to their story Splintershard through the eyes of a young filly caught up the conflict.

I always find it quite interesting to read stories or accounts from the perspectives of the average person (or pony), especially concerning large-scale events such as a national (and international) conflict. While, yes, the people in charge are likely the ones making the decisions that could affect hundreds of thousands of lives, those effects are seen in no greater place than the average person. What are the ripple effects that come down the chain of command? That is one of the things that Sunbeam does best: the narrator is a young filly with no experience with war, politics, or even high school drama, and yet she’s thrust into extreme scenarios because of decisions people above her had made.

Day by day, Sunbeam unfolds the chain of events that led to the premise of Splintershard (which I have not read, admittedly), starting first with the retirement of Twilight Sparkle that I mentioned earlier, and as anyone could predict, Equestria has been falling apart at the seams since. At the time of writing, TheMajorTechie has turned Equestria into even more of a dictatorship than it was before with the introduction of Daybreaker early on (although I do feel like the reasoning behind Celestia’s transformation is a bit shoe-horned in) and the resistance force, of which the narrator joins and happily supports, is trying its best to gain the upperhand on an increasingly more dangerous and well-prepared tyrant.

TheMajorTechie also throws in some worldbuilding here and there, mostly from observations the narrator makes, which makes the worldbuilder in me quite pleased, because it also affects the flow of how events will play out in the story. Little details here and there, such as most of the populace who live in the Old Guard in the Everfree are likely regular civilians and the nobles have attempted to normalize their military base into something resembling Canterlot (which is probably their happy place in an otherwise scary conflict), help flesh out the world that they’ve written and ground it in our minds while reading.

All in all, an Equestria being torn apart from the inside isn’t a new concept (and probably could be called a trope by this point), but TheMajorTechie has been able to put an intriguing spin on it through making its narrator a bystander who unwillingly became involved in something much bigger than them. One of my only concern at the moment is the pacing of the story; while early on, the timeline of events did feel reasonable, it started to feel like it was a very condensed timeline after the narrator was sent to the training/military camp. I’m no expert on combat training, but I’m pretty sure a single day of learning the basics couldn’t warrant a group being moved to evasive maneuvers in one or two days – you need time to practice and develop those muscle memories! A single night’s worth ain’t gonna cut it, chief. While it might feel dissatisfying to put out a chapter where nothing happens more often than it’s already done, it will help the pacing become more real and enhance the immersive reading experience. My advice? Plot things out on a line (better yet, make multiple lines for different factions!) and see how fast things major events occur and if the minor events in-between seem reasonable.

My other concern is about how the climax will go. As of right now, defeating Daybreaker and getting control of Equestria again is the main goal, but there is a lot of doubt thrown on whether the resistance force will actually succeed. On one hand, it does feel a little farfetched and I wouldn’t be surprised if it failed, but at the same time, it could succeed but only just barely. At this point (and, having not read Splintershard, I am unaware as to whether the answer is revealed in that story), I’m not actually sure which path would be more satisfying to the narrative that TheMajorTechie has laid out. I’m on the fence about it, which could have very well been the author’s intent. Who knows? Definitely not me!

Section rating: 7

Character Exploration

Typically, diary-styled stories offer deep insight into a character, how they feel, act, think, etc., but interestingly enough, TheMajorTechie chose (either intentionally or accidentally) not to do this. Even 60+ days into the chaos that is Equestria, the audience knows relatively little about the narrator. In some ways, this is a little frustrating, since at most we know that the narrator is a filly who was still in school at the beginning of the story who goes unnamed, but does pick up the name Sunbeam later on.

At the same time, though, it makes the narrator a more ambiguous (or perhaps more accurately, a more arbitrary) character, one that could easily have been any other civilian thrust into extreme situations. As I’ve mentioned before, Sunbeam paints the titular character in a more “background pony” light, where they may not be anyone recognizable, but they are affected by the events happening all the same. Even in the more recent chapters, Sunbeam is sent into the Old Guard’s fortress as a spy, but she is not the only member of the resistance who is doing so. Aside from her age and some of her unique experiences from her life, Sunbeam is just your average pony, portraying what happens to ponies like her when large-scale events occur.

Even so, we’re given just enough personal details through how Sunbeam writes and thinks to remember that she is a distinct character despite her being the average Joe. Things like her musings over her killing at such a young age, her trust in the resistance authority figures, the difficulties and slight oversights she has when going about her ever-changing life, help ground Sunbeam as a character and give small inklings into who she was before the crisis began and how she’s changing as it continues.

It’s an interesting concept and execution, to be sure, but we can only wait and see if it works out in the end!

Section rating: 7.5

Grammar, Formatting, and Consistency

Overall, TheMajorTechie did fairly well in this category! The major thing of note is the diary formatting, which isn’t all too uncommon as a narration tactic for large-scale events. Many historical fiction stories use this diary format, partly to create a personal lens on the event in question and partly because that is how a lot of information about such events was gathered in the first place; eyewitnesses would write down their experiences in diaries. Sunbeam is an eyewitness in her story and her journal serves as the written account of the tyranny of Daybreaker and the conflict that led to the events of Splintershard.

It is interesting that most, if not all, of the entries in Sunbeam are fewer than 500 words. Some part of me, having read a few diary-styled historical fiction novels when I was younger, expected for some chapters to be significantly longer than the others as events occurred, but so far, TheMajorTechie has kept things relatively consistent in length. I do wonder if this will change as Sunbeam approaches its climax…

Grammar: 9
Formatting: 8
Consistency: 8.5
Section rating: 8.5

My Little Nitpicks

Whirlybird
Haha helicopters go brrr (and quite literally! Finally, I’m justified in using the meme!)

Former Princess Twilight Sparkle
Wonder where she went?

Daybreaker
From stress? Hm… Reasoning behind Daybreaker transformations are always iffy to me, since they never feel like they’re on the scale of the emotional turmoil that Luna went through. Maybe that’s just me being picky?

Conscription
Daybreaker must really have lost her marbles if she’s conscripting elementary-aged ponies into the army.

To join the resistance
That felt awfully easy to join the resistance, huh? Sure, they need more ponies, but is Starlight really the best judge of character all the time?

The Elements of, er…
This writing on my hand is too smudged for me to read properly. The Elements of, hmm, wood chips? Crystal chips? Eh, Elements of “Whatever the Tree of Harmony is Made Out Of”.

Final Thoughts

Sunbeam is a first-hand account of the events that led up to the situation in Splintershard. It’s more of an action story than it is a political one when it comes to the main conflict, and easily read in smaller 200-400-word entries that detail each day that passes. While rather short and digestible, it does leave those who crave for a distinct and distinguishable protagonist or those who prefer more prose wanting.

Final rating: 7.5/10

Are you still around? Good! I have a question for those who often read my reviews: how do you feel about the "My Little Nitpicks" section? I'm currently on the fence on whether I should keep it or remove it. On one hand, you can see my thoughts on different parts of the stories I review, but on the other hand, I have a bad habit of leaving it to the last minute so they often end up a bit on the shorter side. I'd love to hear your thoughts!

7349968
Excellent review, and my vote is to keep it, but ultimately do what works best for you. <3

7349968
Ooh, thanks for the review! I don't really have much else to say, to be honest. You pretty much nailed it when you pointed out the pacing, and how I sped things up a bit to avoid having too many chapters where nothing major happened. I just felt that it wasn't really worth writing, but I'll keep your feedback in mind when I take the story out of hiatus!

Thanks for the feedback!