Part two of my double header. This one was quite a treat.

TInformed Delivery

• MLP: FiM
• Romance
• Comedy
• Slice of Life

After her brother and Sugar Belle get together, Applejack decides it's finally time to give this whole "relationship" business a shot. Only problem is, she's gonna need a bigger mailbox...

• Sex
• Applejack
• Apple Bloom
• Derpy
• Main 6
• Starlight Glimmer

Gay For Gadot · 9.1k words  ·  429  18 · 5.7k views

SUMMARY
Applejack decides it might be time to try dating after seeing Big Mac and Sugar Belle start a relationship, and while she might be slow to warm up to the idea, her mailbox proves that others might not be so - pusillanimous.

You're going to need a life-vest to read this hilarious yet heart warming story by Gay for Gadot. The characters shine in an exploration of relationships that, without spoiling too much, can be likened to the Battle of Midway with none other than Admiral Applejack at the helm. While I try to keep spoilers out of my reviews, this one will invariably have some. There will also be discussion of sexual topics, so if you're not into that, consider this a warning. Now then, tighten your vest belts.

LANGUAGE - 9/10
Style:
The author has a well-crafted style that creates a wonderful sense of immersion while providing all of the details that move the narrative forward. It is also a style that, comparing to an earlier work I reviewed by this author, has seen a noticeable improvement. The dialogue, for instance, is natural and easily belongs to the characters' such that I can almost hear Ashleigh Ball through the pages. This effect is accomplished by creative use of slang, idioms, and the natural mannerisms of the characters. Take this sentence for instance:

“Ya know what they say!” Apple Bloom grinned around a mouthful of pancakes. “‘If ya don’t know who’s the gay cousin, then yer the gay cousin.

Many of these idioms, either spoken or from the narrator, are really clever and deliver the joke while also developing the story, as seen in these two excerpts:

If Applejack ever wondered what that pesky pegasus would look like in purple, she knew it now. That blush was gonna leave a mark.

Applejack wriggled out of Pinkie’s grip. “A-again, sugarcube, no. Not only would that make Apple Family Reunions real awkward, but I just don’t see ya that way.”

The brief sound of a balloon deflating followed. Without missing a beat, Pinkie then gave a firm nod. “Okay dokey lokey! Worth a shot!” With a shrug, hop, skip, and a jump, she was back in her throne.

What I find best about the style, though, is it's deliberate usage. Every detail is important and moves the story in a way that doesn't feel like it's 9,100 words long. An example I want to point out is the use of the word "pusillanimous" - it is not just a fancy word, but serves as a joke (a very subtle one at that) and later on in the story acts as a key plot device. That ultimately is the beauty of language - the ability to, with just a few words, say so much more and evoke a response in the reader that is hardly possible otherwise.

Mechanics:
No issues with grammar. The pargraph structure is great, something which many writers struggle with especially when, as this story does, including character actions with dialogue tags.

Mood and Tone:
The awkward mood of relationships is brilliantly portrayed in this work, successful done so by the subtle details, wording, and inflections throughout. There is a realistic (for a comedy) sense of sexual tension that simmers in the subtext, fed by the clever references, such as these examples:

Paler than a ghost, Big Macintosh galloped over. He grabbed the dirty magazine in his mouth and gave Applejack a look so sheepish, she was surprised that he didn’t baa as an afterthought. Muttering something about needing to cancel, he rushed away. To dispose of it. Hopefully.

This one, in reference to a letter from Rara, becomes a funny running gag:

If the photograph within was any indication… Applejack understood why it had taken a while for her old friend to summon the courage to write to her.

… Applejack tucked that photo into her hat for safekeeping. Better not let Apple Bloom find that one. Eenope. That would be a lot harder to explain than one of Big Mac’s Playcolts. Eeyup. That’s why she was saving it.

The scene in which Applejack enters the Map room and "talks" to her friends is also a fine example of where the language fosters the wide range of emotions the characters are experiencing.

SETTING - 8/10
The setting is handled well by the author, with enough details and character interactions to create meaningful immersion for the reader. The opening scene in the Apple's kitchen feels real, with details of the pancakes cooking, smoke rising as Big Mac burns them, and the family sitting around the breakfast table. Of course, it is not just the details, but how the setting is used - in this case, the type of banter that the characters throw at each other feels natural in this ideal family setting as opposed to out in town or working the orchard.

Another example of scene-setting I found well-executed is when Applejack walks outside after breakfast:

Outside, she was rewarded with a beautiful day on her farm. Birds sang in time with the rhythm of the light breeze. Only a few fluffy white clouds dotted the blue sky above. She took in a deep breath, sighing contentedly. It was the perfect time to get some real work done. Till the ground, plant the seeds, help Apple Bloom with the mountain of mail—

It is clear how the author leads the reader's eye, building up a certain image and feeling before delivering the important detail with subtlety and wit.

CHARACTERS - 9/10
Gay for Gadot has a true talent for writing characters, and this story is no exception. From the very beginning of the story, the author establishes subtle but effective characterization that sets up the rest of the story. The details are in the breakfast. I'll explain:

Big Mac is first introduced as burning pancakes, indicating his distraction which with surrounding context we know to be his special somepony. Applejack takes over, cooking perfect pancakes. Later, as Big Mac chows down on a heaping pile of pancakes, Apple Bloom douses hers in an ocean of syrup, and Granny Smith helps herself to a heaping lump of butter, Applejack stands in contrast.

Applejack huffed as she prepared her own sensible breakfast. Two flapjacks with a pat of butter and a drizzle of syrup.

Barely a few hundred words into the story, the reader already has a good grasp of who Applejack will be throughout this story - sensible, reasonable, practical.

There are many more examples of characterization which stand out. For the sake of time, I'll quote them below:

This hilarious characterization of Applejack and her special relationship with her hat.

But there were a few that… Well…

“I’d like to wear your flank as a hat.”

“I’d like you to wear my flank as a hat.”

Most troubling of all, “I’d like to wear your hat!”

Twilight's "innocence" when she sees the photo of Rara.

Twilight’s wings sprang open. Stiff, wide open. To their full height.

Maybe I'm reading too much into these jokes, but this one for Pinkie Pie got me.

Pinkie grinned from ear to ear. “Oooh, I thought you’d like that one, Jackie! It’s my new super secret cupcake recipe! I make them in my basement!

But while there are plenty of comedic characterizations that remain true to these beloved characters, there are some that are quite serious and meaningful to the plot such as when Applejack and Derpy interact, showing a development of Applejack's character that is very intimate (but not in that way). And it is ultimately this internal character shift in Applejack that defines the plot.

PLOT/THEMATIC DEVELOPMENT - 9/10
Alright, let's talk plot. And no, not that kind of plot.

A great thing about this story is that is does what (most) every short story should do - introduce the conflict as soon as possible. In this instance, it is done with the very first sentence:

Ponies in love could be a mite stupid.

Just like that, the reader has an idea what kind of story to expect and is thus prepared for the ride that ensues, which is kept moving with good pacing and intriguing character actions as we see Applejack deal with the sudden pressure of romantic relationships. Furthermore, this sentence also establishes the theme of the story.

What I like most about this story is how eventually the conflict starts to resolve as Applejack realizes what is important to her. This quote shows that shift:

As Applejack put her hat back on, the others left their stacks of love letters behind. There were more important matters to attend to at the moment. Like a group hug.

This quote also, in my opinion, justifies the inclusion of so many sexual references since, by adding tension and complexity to romantic relationships, they serve a purpose beyond pure comedy.

Finally, the use of Derpy as a catalyst in affecting a change in Applejack's perspective is a poignant touch:

When Applejack met Derpy’s gaze, Applejack saw something familiar reflected back in her crossed eyes ... the weight of something she hadn’t realized she’d been carrying joined that of the hefty mailbox.

And at the end:

The conversation with Derpy came to mind, as did the one with her friends around the table. If Applejack was honest with herself, she would admit that some of those rejections were harder than others. Some of those letters made her heart race for a reason other than humiliation.

Brilliant writing. I really can't comment on how it could be better - it simply has a quality to it that speaks to the audience. I'll let Apple Bloom's quote sum up the message of this story:

“I guess [relationships is] kinda like gettin’ yer cutiemark, then?... Ya can’t force it, even if you want it more than anythin’.”

FINAL THOUGHTS
I really enjoyed this story, the comedy, and the shear tonnage of shipping sinking to the bottom of the ocean floor by the end. The author is really perfecting their craft, and this story is an example of their best work. It is wonderful to see a story that is not only entertaining, but carries with it a thought-provoking message.

There was nothing I didn't like, except perhaps how red my face got reading some parts of this story while at work. I think some of those blushes did leave a mark.

Overall, superb story. 8.75/10

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Wow. Two reviews in one day? Talk about luck! And another insightful, detailed review, at that. Thanks so much, Clarke, for the time and effort put forth here. I'm glad you enjoyed the story so much. (Though I apologize for the marks!)