TMarked with Power

• MLP: FiM
• Adventure

Our hero was sent to equestria and finds some new marks

• Human
• OC
• Discord
• Self Insert

Thenewbluebrony · 28k words  ·  21  7 · 887 views

Tags:  [Adventure], [humans]

Rewview: Marked with Power

Summary: Beginning part quick adventure place to place too quickly.  Later it seems to be rather smoothed a little bit in the mid section. And the last section is still the same thing.

Critic:  I think the beginning of the fiction was way too fast paced… and the midsection did slow a little bit down which is alright… the pace combination was a bit rough.  Also the punctuation needs a bit more for the grammar.  The title screams it all. Rules for titles that Marked with Power. Power needs to be capitalized. Which that leads with which does not need to be capitalized.  It’s what all fiction should be.  As a professional… Since I had a clear idea of what I was getting into when reading this it’s alright but the grammar still needs to be more clear for punctuations. 

The flow of this fiction was a weird one at least for the fast paced and slow down near the last recent chapter…  I give it at least a 5/10. I believe that this was the best I can do for this…

Idea it’s great and creative exploration is a good thing for adventure. I give it at least a 6/10 since this isn’t finished.

The dialog choices are 8/10 I do like the dialog.

Your grammar is a 4/10. This is the = of all the chapters that you missed punctuations on and the score had dropped a lot.

This score final is a 23/40   At least a 5.5/10

Conclusion more background story for all characters would of been great with more feeling.

Thanks for the feedback