TThe fate of all unicorns...

• MLP: FiM
• Comedy
• Random

...is to have their magic completely and utterly annihilated by a simple tennis ball. Until they take it off, that is. There's a reason why they have to wear them.

• Izzy Moonbow

TechnoNerd · 1.2k words  ·  93  18 · 1.3k views

Story summary: *jumps on the G5 bandwagon*

You heard it from Izzy. Tennis balls are the new magic limiters. Neigh, they are the new magic limiter. Put a tennis ball on your horn, and no magic for you. Take it off, and... well, you'll see what happens when folks get pummeled by death lasers.

why do i do this to myself

Rated T for innuendos regarding Flim and Flam, because of course they're in this story.

downvote if y'all want. my brain cells are toast.

dangit yall did the opposite and got this dumpster fire featured instead lol

My analysis: Dear Lord. This story...

I can't help but chuckle and the nonsensicalness of this story. I haven't read something this crazy since the series of Twilight loosing it and punishing villains' via chaotically cruel punishments. And guess what?

This one works too!

This (supposedly) sleep deprived story is still extremely entertaining, relying on the nonsensical and breaking the fourth wall to go off of the idea of tennis balls restraining unlimited power. For a story allegedly written in such a state, it's extremely amusing.

Writing: 8/10

Okay, maybe I am bending the rules for judging the grammar and spelling, but here me out. There are some glaring errors in specific areas, like misspelling learned, or the improper spelling when he's whiling about going to sleep. However, I refuse to advise correcting it. Two reasons.

1. It's still legible.

2. It add so much character to the sleep deprived writer. It adds another subtle level to the comedy presented to us that I don't want to see the errors fixed. I don't know how intentional it was, but I will give it a high score nonetheless.

Story plot: 8/10

Okay, again, letting things slide. There is a simple idea here concerning tennis balls, but develops into quite a bit of chaos. I think deciding to go with the chaotic feel. To be honest, I love how outrageous the idea and execution is. It just has that goofy feel to it.

Story flow: 10/10

The flow stays true to the chaotic ideas that the writer throws out, and manages to hit each one without making the story feel rushed or fractured. Even the 59 word second chapter and authors notes work well in this story, adding a final laugh that connected well with the main story. Yeah, it's short and unconventional, but it still flows well in spite of the chaotic feel. Even the abrupt ending feels intentional, due to the intention to stick with the theme of chaos.

Final score: 26/30 8.6/10

How to improve.

Is this story perfect? No. But that's why it's so good! It thrives in the chaotic atmosphere and sleep deprived comedy. I can't recommend fixing any of the errors because that's what makes this story feel so genuine. He just owns it, and added it into the story itself. Do I recommend this author write a story like this again? Nope. I care about their sleep. But I think that even in a tired state, this author has great sense of humor.

So all of you give this chaotic story a read, and appreciate this sleep deprived masterpiece.

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You can't tell me what to do! I'll pass out at five in the morning on my keyboard if I wan-- *thump*

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Oh... new story... Welp, back to reviewing.

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:)