I'm working on the newest chapter of my ongoing story Rules for Bodyguards, and I've hit a snag. I have two short passages that I like, and I'm not sure which to use.

Short Description: After a foiled assassination attempt, Shining Armor is wounded and resting in his quarters. Cadance comes to visit and teach him about the political situation in the country they are traveling to (this happens offscreen). After this visit, one of Shining Armors subordinates starts a rumor the she overheard Cadance and Shining Armor having an affair in his quarters (this is untrue). After taking this report, among others, a still-wounded Shining Armor reflects on this information:

Shining Armor watched the door, half expecting it to knock again. When it didn’t happen, he let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding and slumped back into his bed. The rumors started by Storm was an ill-timed complication. While there was nothing between them, he couldn’t ignore the fact that soldiers would be watching Cadance and him like a foal watched the ice cream colt rolling down the street. It explained why she hadn’t visited him for a second lesson since he was released by the doctor.

Great. Now, I have to defend Cadance’s reputation too. This is the last thing I need right now.

A) He thought back to the first night after he had been released, wracking his brain for anything that Storm could have misinterpreted as “inappropriate conduct” between Cadance and him. All he could recall was that Cadance had been in a good mood and very receptive to his jokes and teasing. Beyond being rather giggly, though, he didn’t think anything untoward had happened that evening.

OR

B) He thought back to the first night after he had been released from the Infirmary. Cadance had come by to go over major figures in the Roaman political scene. Nothing about it had seemed inappropriate at all, except maybe for Cadance being a little gigglier than usual. Then again, she had just survived an assassination attempt, so her being a little off didn’t seem strange.

So, which passage flows better?

7480862
Definitely A. Feels more natural and less telly, and actually mimics his thoughts.
(On a side note, it’s rack one’s brain. While some guides allow the usage of wrack, it’s better to avoid it.)

7480868

Definitely A. Feels more natural and less telly, and actually mimics his thoughts.

Thanks for the feedback!

(On a side note, it’s rack one’s brain. While some guides allow the usage of wrack, it’s better to avoid it.)

Good catch.