Tfloat

• MLP: FiM
• Horror
• Sad
• Tragedy

"And y’all keep floating away from me. And I just can’t catch you."

• Applejack
• Apple Bloom

The Red Parade · 2.9k words  ·  216  12 · 2.6k views

Applejack wakes up one day to find that everyone in Ponyville is floating. But she'll fix this. She has to.

Opening remarks

float by The Red Parade (Red) is a tragic horror with an interesting hook starring Applejack. This appears to be in line with Red’s experimental works which I have thoroughly enjoyed before, so I’m looking forward to seeing how this one turns out.

Technical

The description work in this fic is fabulous in execution. A lot of vivid imagery and poetic sentences. It really sets the tone and emotions of the events that transpire over the course of the plot. A technically sound piece with no errors that I could find. Full marks.   

10/10

Character

The main character is Applejack who is the focal point of the story. Her voice is spot on in this, using just the right amount of accent in her dialogue and the speech patterns I would expect of her. The mix of stubborn and compassionate in her characterization comes off well. 

How she processes her emotional response to the leading cause of the events of the story is the core point of the fic and her character really shines through in the believability of how she acts.

The supporting cast is perfect in their minimal roles, hammering in the themes and imagery of the story without taking away from Applejack as the central focus of the narrative. 

Overall, excellent character work. Full marks. 

10/10

Concept

An intriguing premise, fantastic theme parallels between the story Applejack reads to Apple Bloom and Applejack’s own struggles, and a fantastic abstraction of an emotional concept. All of this wonderfully executed in a short 3 K fic.

The hook, the description, and everything between is wonderfully done. In conjunction with a stellar concept, I give this full marks.

10/10

Vibe

The story is very structurally strong. The dual storylines and parallel themes of Applejack’s struggles coinciding with the story she reads to Apple Bloom is extremely well executed.

Everything within the plot is tightly focused on Applejack’s emotional state from which all of the powerful imagery comes from. These emotions are deeply entwined within the narrative and heightens the impact of the final reveal paying off in a very satisfying way.

It’s all a very slow build up and rise of tension that bursts at the end granting answers to the questions posed at the start. The entire plot is a wonderful portrayal of Applejack’s inherent stubbornness done so in a very impactful, meaningful way that carries through the fic.  

My only gripe is that the final three scenes feel somewhat disjointed from each other. It’s not enough to lessen the impact of the final moments, however, the transitions between them feel disconnected in a way that makes the ending feel somewhat rushed compared to the steady pacing of the rest of the fic. 

Overall, an excellently written piece. 

9/10

Closing Thoughts

float is an excellent short story that conveys big emotions in an impactful way through powerful imagery and a slow build up that ends in a heartbreaking conclusion. Well worth the 3 K read, and I give it my full otter recommendation. 

9.75/10

<For archive purposes: 9.75/10>

Personal Score

Emotional abstraction in stories with strong themes is my jam. Taking a high concept and breaking it down into powerful emotionally charged moments is one of my favourite things, and this story does it amazingly.

9/10