TThe New King

• MLP: FiM
• Adventure
• Sad
• Tragedy

After a tragic accident happens, Spike has to be the new ruler of Equestria

• Death
• Alt. Universe
• Spike
• CMCs
• Sunset Shimmer
• Starswirl
• Flurry Heart

ShowShine · 13k words  ·  72  14 · 3.2k views

I'm planning on rewriting this story. What are some criticisms you guys have that will help me improve? While I have a few ideas, I would love to hear other people's opinions.

They should have said goodbye not just leave note.

Just read it, not many critiques just a few that I have.

1. story-wise, it's good, but gotten confused a few times, and had to reread the chapter. But if i could ask if there's a chance to save the heroes from stone, my 3 ideas would be, either A.1,000 years later, B. New elements of harmony, or C. All the villains, grudgingly become the elements of Harmony, trading their lives in stone for the heros 8/10
2. pacing, so-so, there were times it was too fast, and other times slowed to a standstill, but I'm being a hipper crit. 7/10
3. any other critiques are just nitpics, but overall 9.99/10, would read again.

Your potential friend,
NJH12