I made a clopfic starring my oc, Oak. He's a male futa. My story got a ton of downvotes in under a day. Am I doing something wrong?

male futa

What.

4842516
Yes.

4842516 The better question is what didn't you.
4842523 presumably a guy with a vagina.

4842516
Just by reading the description, not even the fic:
* Gary Stu super-powered OC
* Self-insert OC
* OC on canon clop
* Mane Six harem
* Futa (not everyone's cup of tea)
* Male herm (really not everyone's cup of tea)
* Low word count, so it's probably senseless clop

I haven't even opened the story yet, and there's already enough there for a ton of drive-by downvotes.

4842516 4842570 Eeyup. That's got it. Just reading the description for the story, and not the story itself, it presents all the wrong signals to the general readership on this site. I'll look at the story later just for good measure.

Ignore downvotes. Downvotes just mean you wrote something the offends the zeitgeist of the site. Upvotes are nice, but thoughtful positive/negative comments are what you'll want to try and concern yourself with. Read books on writing, look thoughtfully at your work, cultivate writer and editor friends who can give you feedback, and practice, practice, practice.

Content don't matter -- in the internet age, there's an audience for everything. It might be a very small audience, but they say size doesn't matter, right?

4842680

A handful of downvotes is just expected. A 50-50 or worse ratio of upvotes to downvotes usually indicates you're doing something wrong.

Comments are more helpful than downvotes when it comes to understanding what you did wrong, granted.
For some reason, I find it hilarious that your comment got downvoted.

4842680 I always get just a little bit irritated when people say to ignore downvotes.

After all, I can't help but notice a bit of a correlation between stories with more red than green on their ratings and stories I regretted reading. Oh, when it's under 20% red, I tend to shrug it off quite easily, and plenty of stories (especially little viewed stories) are still readable enough... But there's a point when you're not just ignoring a minority opinion, but you're ignoring signs of a problem.

Unless you truly don't care if people enjoy your story or not, that is. But I think a lot of people here do actually take pride in writing something worthwhile, or otherwise want to.

4842701
It should be amended to "be prepared for a fraction of downvotes, watch the ratio to know just how bad it really is, not the number of downvotes".

4842523

male futa

What.

How does that...

That's not even...

What!?

4842516

Actual content aside, there are a number of issues grammatically as well as structurally. Being one giant wall of text is an immediate "NOPE" from a vast majority of readers before they even look at the first word. If a story is structured poorly then it is safe to assume that it is written poorly, and thus a waste of time.

Then there is the issue of it actually being poorly written as well, particularly the dialogue could use a lot of work. By the third paragraph I had to stop due to the urge of my inner editor wanting to viciously attack the thing with a highlighter.

I highly recommend looking into a editor and a proof reader for your written work before it is presented. There are those who don't mind working on clop stuff.

Also I very highly recommend you give this particular article a good read and memorize much of what it shows. It will help drastically improve the general structure and flow of your dialogue.

4842680 4842687 4842701

Don't surprise me, as his statement about down votes holds very little water.

Though Captain_Hairball is correct in regards to types of content. Quality however, matters a lot. I generally disregard down votes if they equal to less then 10-15% of the total upvotes. More then that I get a bit skeptical as to the quality of the writing or content. That is, unless it's something possibly taboo, controversial, or jimmy rustling to some of the readers on the site. In which case I find myself curious and go by the quality of the writing in the first page.

4842516

He's a male futa.

Futa = chick with dick.
Male = already has a dick.
WTF?

Argh, I'll give a brief glance at your story.

4842740
4842850

presumably a guy with a vagina.

4842523 4842740

My reaction exactly!
I have been on the net since 1996 as an active yiff RPer, and this is the first time I have ever heard that one. Anyone not as experienced as me is probably even more confused.
I know there are charas that are herm and appear male while clothed or herm and appear female while clothed, or can shift back and forth. Futa (D**kgirl) is more recent and I know that one. Even more recently, in the last couple years "C**ntboy" has appeared (all the physique and looks of a guy, nothing but female plumbing down below), so if I ever read the story, its going to be to find out just WTF "Male Futa" is.

EDIT!
Ok, my curiosity got the better of me. it's standard male Hermaphrodite (Herm)

Why are people freaking out over male futa? Doesn't futa mean "Penis and marehood"? He has both parts, because he isn't a pony, he's a Shadow Dragon.

4843232

He has both parts, because he isn't a pony, he's a Shadow Dragon.

Oh, well, everything makes perfect sense now.

4842516
Took a look, and for one thing, drop the "Male Futa" from the desc, and add tags for "Dark", "Guro", "watersports", "Herm", "cumflation" "Size difference" and probably a few others...

4842516 This is just me, but your shitty recoloring of Applejack from Fighting is Magic into your own "original character" might have something to do with it.

Evidence:

4843232
That would be "hermaphrodite."

4842516 Okay, I'm back and I actually viewed the story. Not much to say that Kalash93 didn't say in his assessment in the actual story comments, so no need to repeat it. My biggest ergkh with the whole thing is that I came here through a thread from the Sensual Fiction Group and this is not sensual, it's flat, and technical to the point of mechanical.

In order to do sensual and erotic, there is more than noting the anatomy and functions, emotion is the biggest investment you'll put in as a writer on this and it's where you want the reader to buy in.

So what you wanted was a Marzipan Mascarpone Meringue Madness , but ended up creating a Strawberry Cinnamon Cilantro Cupcake, instead. Oh well. It doesn't mean you can't write, but you may want to consider doing some research on your target audience and refine your recipe before posting your next attempt. A little forethought and proper planning goes a long way in developing and presenting a story to an audience.

4844033 Thank you! Also I don't know what Cilantro is. Is it a type of chemical or poison, and that's the joke?

1, how do I put in more emotions?
2, to the other guy: Yeah, my OC is in mugen. He's an Applejack Clone, like in Super Smash Bros. BUT, with each new version, he's getting more custom unique attacks.

4844703 Cilantro, is a type of herb. It's a reference to

1.) As to emotions, think of the subtle ways how a person's behavior and perceptions are influenced by their emotional state. This is very often written at a personal level and a larger group scene with a pseudo-scientific premise like you did actually weakens the impact because there is less time to make the emotional connections because it's always switching between character interactions.

I'd suggest reading around a bit. Specifically look for pieces where readers have commented on their emotional reactions in the comments section. A good friend of mine has a lengthy AJ unplanned pregnancy fic that has received a lot of that type of reaction. (I'll PM the link) There are also others too if you go look for them.

2.)

He's an Applejack Clone, like in Super Smash Bros. BUT, with each new version, he's getting more custom unique attacks.

I'm not much of a gamer (really not at all), but using a gaming premise like that for building a character is a hard sell. It just really detaches it from most readers and becomes hard to relate to. The easiest way to try to fix that is using strictly that character's point of view. Stay inside your character's head, describe the world through their senses and reactions. Let the reader come to relate to the character by experience.

Again read around and do some research. Examine the techniques that other writers use. On this one I strongly recommend one of the most successful clone OC fics ever, Past Sins.

Good luck and good reading.

4844761 Whoops! Haha, um... uh... Not that kind of clone. Oak The Shadow Dragon is a Shadow Dragon, one of ten mythical beasts that will awaken and destroy the universe. But thanks to him losing his memories The old him did that to himself on purpose he's living with Applejack, and when the other Shadow Dragons arrive, he must fight them off.

In MUGEN, Oak is a Moveset Clone. His moves are a lot like Applejack's, but he has some moves of his own.

I think I'm gonna give up on sex. Too many babies to immature for sex are downvoting everything that isn't their fetish. And not just on mine, but everywhere on this site, especially in the weirder fetish groups.

4844940

I think I'm gonna give up on sex. Too many babies to immature for sex are downvoting everything that isn't their fetish.

This is exactly the conclusion to the trainwreck that I expected, given everything I've seen so far.

Ignore everyone pointing out real and critical issues. Come to the conclusion that everyone else is wrong, and do not understand your genius.

The fact that it follows the 'Bad, Immature Writer' script so well is just downright suspicious.

4844960 What real critical issues? So far, I've got one guy saying it "Lacks emotion", so I'm reading an emotiony fic to try and pick it up saiyan-style. And that one guy's in a massive crowd of people telling me I should stop writing, kill my OC, and myself, and never use the internet again.

4845203

What real critical issues? So far, I've got one guy saying it "Lacks emotion", so I'm reading an emotiony fic to try and pick it up saiyan-style. And that one guy's in a massive crowd of people telling me I should stop writing, kill my OC, and myself, and never use the internet again.

From Twilight-the-Pony:

- Your OC is a self-insert,
- It barges in, says "let's fuck!" and all of the mane 6 are for without second thought,
- There's no such thing as "male futa". Either it's male, female, or futa.
- Puns are horrible, and I have yet to read a sex scene where they're appropriate to be used.
- It rides on basically every trope on "how to make a bad clop."
- The beginning makes no sense, the middle even less so, and the end... Let's just not go there.

"Are you erect yet?" Twilight asked like a hologram.

I... I... I honestly have NO idea what that even means.

From Kalash:

To write up a brief list of sins starting with the cover page,

1. First sentence of the cover is already throwing new terminology at the reader.
2. If Oak is a 'he', then he cannot be a futa.
3. Putting [FUTA] in the title like a content warning is pointless.
4. There is no futa in this fic, so cue disappointed people who came expecting futa.
5. The whole story is a 3,222 word long wall of text.
6. No gaps between paragraphs.
7. No indents at the start of paragraphs.
8. Pee talk is out of place here.
9. What the fuck is a shadow dragon and negative energy is what?
10. Dialogue is painful.
11. Absolutely zero reasons are given to the audience to care.
12. Blood is not lube.
13. Shadow Dragon kin pony.
14. More shadow dragon shit that nobody fucking knows understands or likes.
15. Sex sequences are not sexy.
16. Your stallion has a pussy for some reason.
17. WHAT THE FUCK IS ALL THIS SHADOW DRAGON BULLSHIT!?
18. There is no reason for Oak to call Applejack "Big Sis".
19. There is no reason for Oak to call Applejack Big Sis during sex.
20. The ending makes no sense.
21. And it ends with even more goddamn Shadow Dragon talk.

To summarize: It's wierd, confusing, squicky, not sexy, borderline unreadable, and horribly characterized. Please listen to someone nicer like Azu in the thread you posted looking for help, because i don't have enough time right now to do anything but point out the problems.

Four things you could do to improve it:

1. Put in a space between every paragraph and indent the start of every paragraph.
2. Cut out all the Shadow Dragon stuff.
3. Remove the squicky bathroom and incestous talk.
4. Establish a reason for these characters to be where they are at that moment and why we should care.

Then the stuff in this thread. And other comments in your fic.

Several people spent far too much of their time elucidating what went wrong.

But no.
It must be the prudes. Because if it's someone else's fault, you don't have to go through the effort of doing better, and writing a story, instead of low-effort public masturbation with your self-insert.

Hey, assuming you are for real, I can understand confusion or whatever, about how to write. Sadly not everyone does their research or tries their best with story writing. And predictably that bites them swiftly in the rear. 'Tis a sad fact of life in any writing website. Making it publicly available exposes one to criticism.

But just shrugging off decent criticism because denial is easier is just annoying. It's a big sign planted in the sand saying 'I'm not worth your time, because I don't care about improving. Suckers'.

4845239 There seems to be some error in communication here. Probably my fault.

1, I want to be a better writer.
2, I was complaining about the crowds of assholes, mainly deviantart babies, that hate my works, clop and nonclop.
3, Thanks for finding those posts.
4, I fixed most of the things that post talked about, but Oak is a Shadow Dragon. Removing that from the story will be like a whole DBZ seasons where nobody mentions Saiyans at all. Or uses ki. Or fights. I'm already pushing the boring limits by doing a story where he doesn't fight anything.
5, Fuck anyone who shrugs off decent criticism. I'm not like that, and I want to improve.
6, I've seen people complain about prudes in other fetish groups and on other sites. I figured that was what was happening here. People expected Twilight with a dick, they got my OC with a dick, they remembered they hate OCs, and they downvoted. People expected vanilla sex, they saw my OC with a dick and vagina and triggering mentions of bad-dream stuff in only one paragrah, and they downvoted. I'm pretty sure a very small number of people who actually read the fic actually have problems with it beyond it not being there cup of tea, it's someone else's, hence why such a tiny portion of the downvoters decided to comment instead of hiding behind their anonymous shield.

4845452

2, I was complaining about the crowds of assholes, mainly deviantart babies, that hate my works, clop and nonclop.

They complained for a good reason: The story I commented on was not good.

3, Thanks for finding those posts.

They were on your stories, and you were replying on them. Or at least you did so on mine. Lumie shouldn't have dig those up in the first place.

4, I fixed most of the things that post talked about, but Oak is a Shadow Dragon.

Also known as self-insert.

5, Fuck anyone who shrugs off decent criticism. I'm not like that, and I want to improve.

Right. This is the reply that I got for pointing out character flaws:

You need to calm down. It's a clop story.

Because all mistakes should be forgiven and forgotten when we read clop. I hate to tell you, but that's not how it works.

6, I've seen people complain about prudes in other fetish groups and on other sites. I figured that was what was happening here. People expected Twilight with a dick, they got my OC with a dick, they remembered they hate OCs, and they downvoted.

No. People downvoted your story because it just isn't good, and my and Kalash's comments pointed out many many many reasons why is that so.

~Twi

4844908 So it's a MLP meets DBZ sort of thing? Oh boy, I'm out of my anime league here in that case, I was never very good with that fighting Anime stuff.

4845892 Ok, lets start over. How can I get better than what I am?

4846584 Dude, you need to watch DBZ, it's an epic show. That and MLPhelped me through some dark times.

4846641 Actually I have. Oddly it didn't make as big an impact as it has for some. As for getting better: Research and practice, and a willingness to learn what you've done wrong, as much what you've done right with each attempt.

4846948 Understood.

I'm not sure if I fully understand what's going on

Your story got a bunch of downvotes from this group in particular? Or are you just seeking advice in general about what to do?

4861318 pls

just let the thread die

it's in pain

let it move on to a happier place

4842523
4842740
4843774
4843232 I'm joining the group for thirty seconds JUST to answer this.

The word "futanari" is literally the Japanese word for "hermaphrodite."

Fandoms have taken it to mean "chicks with dicks." That is incorrect.

A futa is, in all technicality, anyone who has both sets of genitalia.

4864253 It would still be less confusing to refer to the character as a hermaphrodite. But more to the point, if the character in question is having sex with the mane six, why the hell does it matter if he has a vagina? Unless he's also getting mounted by Big Mac, that is a pointless orifice we don't need to know about. In a story about a female hermaphrodite, that penis is getting used. We need to know about it then.

4842516

I made a clopfic starring my oc, Oak. He's a male futa. My story got a ton of downvotes in under a day. Am I doing something wrong?

starring my oc, Oak. He's a male futa. My story got a ton of downvotes in under a day.

He's a male futa.

male futa

Ah. Well.

That might be one place to start.

4842516 you must be trolling.