Howdy ho, lads. Golden here, good and ready to teach you all about the magic of... fighting.

Now at this point you might look up at me and say, "But Professor! We already have a lecture on fighting!" And then I would do several things.

First, I would smile slyly and enjoy the sound of my title, relishing in the fact that these ponies have gained me such station in life. Then I would turn around and give you a good hard smack for daring to talk back to me, and then I would kindly explain to you that that lecture was not so much about fight scenes as it was about physical conflict. The difference?

That lecture taught you how to use conflict, how to build up to it, how to get into the groove as it were. I'm going to teach you how to properly portray a couple of ponies beating the vital fluids out of eachother, in all the nitty gritty. That little two-step isn't going to do it here, kiddo. It's time to disco.

The first rule of writing a good fight is that you must know something about fighting. Of course this is true for most anything you'll ever write, and is why writers always have the most random little tidbits of information, but with fighting it is even more important. There are many things which can be hidden behind metaphorical curtains or cleverly handwaved so that you musn't need to know so much, but fighting is not one of them. Many people may not notice if you incorrectly describe the inner workings of a shipyard, but they will notice when you start using flimsy wooden tables as cover in a gunfight. That doesn't work by the way, despite what Hollywood tells you.

At the same time, if you're writing a somewhat less realistic story or something propelled more by Rule of Cool, feel free to do whatever you wish.

Also remember that fight scenes are very fast paced. There's a lot going on in a very short amount of time, and a major pitfall of the novice fight writer is being unable to convey all the details without also cluttering up the sentences. The best way to avoid this is to trim as much fat off your paragraphs as possible; only mention something if one of the fighting characters are likely to notice it. If your narrator is running very much on instinct or adrenaline, shorten the sentences even more, mentioning only what is immediately significant. If they are, on the other hoof, very thoughtful and cool-headed warriors, then feel free to add in plenty of extras on what they're thinking and what they perceive, as if they were fighting in slow motion.

It's also very easy to confuse characters in a fight scene, no matter how many individuals are involved. I find that it's helpful to think of the fight as happening in rounds, with each round being one character's attack and how the other character's react to it. Every time a new round starts, begin a new paragraph, and you'll find things moving rather smoothly and the attribution of each action to which character much easier to grasp.

In your average fight, there is always one side on the offensive and one on the defensive. After all, you cannot attack if you are defending (although you can transition to attacking in the middle of a defensive move), and if you are attacking there's little reason to defend. A rhythm which I find works well is for one character to begin on the offensive, keeping the focus on that character's attacks and how the other character reacts, until the defending character manages to go on the offensive through some clever move or a mistake on his opponent's part, or manages to break away and retake the initiative. Just be careful that it doesn't seem as if the characters are actually taking turns.

If you're having trouble coming up with what each character should do in a fight, simply visualize it. Visualize your two warriors with their swords locked together and ask yourself, which of these two is likely to move first? What would he do? Okay, now how would the other react? And how does the first react to that? Keep it up, and before you know it the fight is over. Keep an image in your head of the fight as its going on to help you describe it, and make sure to filter out extraneous details.

Now then, down to the nitty gritty. Here's an example fight, between Twilight Sparkle and Starswirl the Bearded, allowing me to be as good and flashy as I wish. No dialogue, no build up. Just some cool lights and bangs.

An eerie blue light cast itself across the field as Starswirl's horn began to glow. His cloak and hat flapped in some arcane wind, the bells sewn into them jingling wildly.

Twilight narrowed her eyes, her own horn lighting with a deep purple light. She spread her hooves as glowing purple tendrils began to orbit her body.

All at once, both mages leapt into action.

Starswirl swung his head, releasing a great beam of blue energy that cut across the field towards Twilight, only to be intercepted by the sudden appearance of a thick purple shield. Twilight gritted her teeth, disappearing in a purple flash only to reappear flying above him. Her eyes flashed as a ring of four purple orbs burst into being around her before soaring towards Starswirl.

Starswirl spun on his hooves, an ethereal staff materializing besides him. He easily batted the first orb away, causing it to spin off and detonate in a nearby copse of trees. Wind from the explosion rushed past as Starswirl stepped back, deflecting the second and third orb up into the sky. With a flick of her horn, Twilight detonated the fourth orb midair, sending Starswirl reeling backwards behind a flickering magic shield.

Twilight pushed the advantage, sending out a magic shockwave as she landed in front of Starswirl, shattering his shield. He rolled sideways, narrowly avoiding a vertical lash of magic from Twilight's horn, and countered with a swift burst of blue magic.

Twilight stumbled, hastily raising a protective dome around her as Starswirl began to bombard her with a series of heavy magical attacks. She flinched as her dome began to weaken and, recovering her balance, teleported out from beneath the onslaught and above Starswirl once more.

But Starswirl was ready. Before Twilight could cast another spell he surrounded her in a shield of his own before pulling her back down to the ground. He detonated the sphere, dazing her, before summoning a bolt of lightning from above, to his hoof, and casting it out towards her.

Twilight just barely managed to raise a shield in time, deflecting the bolt back up into the clouds, which began to crackle with electricity. A glowing purple dagger appeared at her side as she charged Starswirl, the grass smoking in her hoofsteps as she channeled power into herself.

Starswirl summoned the arcane staff once more, his eyes glowing and leaking smoky blue magic as he waited.

The two mages met just as a massive lightning bolt struck the field near them, the connection between the two magical weapons spawning a great explosion that shook the earth itself.

Wasn't that cool?

Alright, so what'd I do? First off, I put an emphasis on being creative. I mixed up teleports, shockwaves, grapples, beams, lightning, summoned weapons, all that jazz. Magic fights aren't interesting when its just two people smashing laser beams together over and over. You've gotta keep coming up with new things or magic battles will get stale very fast. Second, I used the color of each unicorn's magic to help differentiate who was doing what, a thing which is much smoother than always going "Starswirl's" and "Twilight's." Combined with clever paragraph breaks I made it very clear what was happening and who was happening it without cluttering up the prose. Third, I tried to lean towards the spectacular. A powerful mage can bend the world to their will, and when two of them meet in battle it should awesome. There should be great flashes of light and shockwaves as the forces of their magic meet. Creativity will make a magic battle cooler than anything else.

But what about gunfights? The key thing about a gunfight is that terrain instantly becomes about ten times more significant. When you're writing a gunfight you must make sure that your readers have a clear image of where the fight is going on when it starts, otherwise you'll have to stop and squeeze some boring old description into the middle of your exciting action scene everytime someone switches to a new piece of cover, and that just won't do. Gunfights work very well with imagery and good scene-building, as there's often plenty of time where each character isn't even shooting. Spend that time describing all the little details that draw your reader in: the smell of gunpowder, the way that shrapnel stings at the face at every near miss, the loud bang of gunfire, the kick of the gun as it fires, the taste of all the smoke and dust in the air, the vibrations of very hard things hitting other very hard things at very high speeds, everything. The way you paint this chaotic scene as characters fight makes for serious epic gun battles.

And don't just have two characters sitting behind the same piece of cover popping up, shooting, and ducking over at over. Gunfights are about mobility. Each character should be moving whenever possible, always trying to get in a position where they can shoot the other. The actual act of shooting is rather uninteresting in the grand scheme of things. Movement and cover are all that really matters.

And a melee fight? Melee battles are the fastest-paced of them all; there's no time to examine the sheen of Applejack's hair when her hooves are already on the way. Leave descriptions of the environment at the back of your head, as it probably is in your character's. Keep paragraphs short and swift. Action, reaction. In particularly intense and fast-paced battles, if you're writing from a certain character's perspective, you can even cut it down to simple one-verb sentences. Let your reader's imagination fill in the blanks.

I've collected some example pieces from my writings and assembled them in this Google Doc. Each one has a short little comment describing it, but don't be surprised if you're confused about what everyone is talking about. These are excerpts from actual stories, with all the dialogue kept in but minus all the explanations that went on beforehand. Check them out if you so desire. Oh, and some of them are kind of long, what with all the extra dialogue and stuff in there.

Also, there is gore in them. Nothing truly excessive, I'd say. Just don't complain that I didn't warn you.

Golden out.

Now, that was an informative read, but I have to ask, can you link something that has been done wrong? I mean a bad fight scene to draw an example out of, it'll be good for comparison.

This is good stuff.

Do these guidelines work for large groups like armies?

Does this fight scene work?

"Here, there were dead bodies that looked like grayish brown withered people. These were not as old as the skeletons. Twilight walked up to one lying in a niche to study it when the dead person sat up.

“Oh my,” Fluttershy said with surprise.

She stepped back carefully and got an arrow ready to shoot.

Fluttershy wondered if these were the draugur that Hadvar talked about. Dead people with most of their flesh still on them, yes, these are Draugur, Flutteshy thought.

Arvid clutched his great sword tighter.
Twilight was so surprised she did not have a spell ready.

Fluttershy could not shoot because Twilight was still in her way.

Arvid moved toward the draugur.

Twilight could hear more of the creatures waking up and moving toward her.

Fluttershy warned,”Twilight, you need to run to me.”

She wondered if they would survive this.

At last, Twilight was out of the way.

Fluttershy fired her arrow at the standing dead creature.

The arrow missed but Arvid slashed and connected with the draugur.

Two more draugur came toward them. One had a great sword and the other one had a sword and shield. It started banging its sword against the shield to call for more reinforcements.

Fluttershy carefully backed up and avoided the pressure plate.

Twilight managed to do the same.

Arvid took out one of the advancing undead. He ran to the pressure plate and then he stepped over it.

Three draugur were right behind him.

He barely had gotten clear of the trap when one of the draugur stepped on the plate and activated the trap. There was a sickening crunch of bones snapping and swords and shields hitting the ground. Arvid stepped to the side.

Another draugur stepped forward but it avoided the trap and shot a blast of freezing air at Fluttershy.

The blast of cold felt like a spear had been thrust into Fluttershy's chest. It was so hard to breathe with her lungs almost frozen; her vision started to dim.

Twilight hit the creature with a stream of fire from her left hand.

It stopped attacking Fluttershy and fired a blast of cold air at Twilight.

For a second, flames and frost fought for dominance until Arvid stuck his great sword through the chest of the mage draugur. The stream of frost faded along with the blue glow from its eyes.
"

Paragraph formation is only one side of how a fight scene can be laid out. The other side of it is exposition. You can set the scene of a pair of master swords men having their epic duel if you talk about how their blades sing with each swing. The sharp bite of air against the blade, the inevitable clash of steel time and time again telling their story. The graceful dance of blades. each flash of their blades being picked up by those that witness it, each swing bring with it a slight whistle through the wind. Every movement and how dust curls around their limbs. The list can go on endlessly.

Overall the ideas presenting here are fantastic. But myself coming from a roleplay perspective. A fight isn't just action and reaction. That is the core of the whole conflict. But the wordplay, is what makes it real. Thoughts, feelings, emotions, etc. You can use them to drive your char, and their persona forward through a fight. And more over their ideals.

Though the use of heavy exposition in a fight scene takes abit more skill to use as a whole. The fight itself can tell a story, beyond the pair that are simply duking it out.

Interesting and quite informative. However, I do have a small objection when it comes to a fight between two unicorns.

Wouldn't it be simple to drop all the fancy spells and focus solely on TK? We know that unicorn horns are sensitive to the touch when magic is being channeled through them. A quick hit to the horn would be like kicking a guy in the balls, rendering the target helpless and winning the fight. Or "grab" them by the throat, cutting off all air and making it almost impossible to concentrate on casting spells.

And then we come to the real excellence of TK application. You can use objects as shields from enemy spells, or use them as projectiles. Rip off enemy armor and beat them to death with it. Break bones, snap their necks, focus the TK hit on a small area and you have a bullet or tweak it a little and you have a blade wound, the possibilities are endless... You basically have "long range hands".

In some ways one could use this as a plot device. Inexperienced unicorns go for the flashy spells and "laser beams", whereas experienced unicorn fighters, drop the fancy stuff and use "boring" TK.

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An example of something wrong? Honestly, I'm not sure. I wouldn't want to just go about and draw an example from someone else's work because, y'know, that's kind've a dick move. And I'm not sure I could really write a good bad example. I've put some thought into it but sorry, I've got nothing for you there.

3828528
Writing fights between armies is entirely different. There's actually a good idea for another lecture, I think I'll do that.

As for the scene you posted there: the paragraphs are too short. Consider each each paragraph to be like a breath in a conversation. You don't want them too long because then the breath gets drawn out and the speaker becomes tired. At the same time you don't want them too short, as the speaker ends up hyperventilating, and although that may not be as tiring as saying a lot with one breath, it sure does get annoying.

Other than that, pretty good. Try putting some of those paragraphs together.

3831715
That's really just a matter of preference. I gave a flashy example because it was between two unicorns very skilled in magic. I have another story where the unicorn protagonist fights solely with TK as he has no magical talent. The Immortal Game does a very good job of its magical duels; each fighter wields a set of sharp objects which can be controlled individually or combined to form blades, alongside their repertoire of magical spells.

I think many authors also avoid using TK like that to keep unicorns from being too OP. After all, if a unicorn could levitate any number of items at even just a range of a couple meters they would be almost impossible to beat, and I've seen many authors treat anything beyond simple telekinesis (such as for example TK bullets or choking) as separate spells.

3851635

From what we see every unicorn can use TK, regardless of what their actual talent is. It is the most basic skill. Therefore, consider how powerful are the TK skills of a unicorn who can use powerful magic. Yes, you are using what counts as basic, but with so much power behind it, even "mere" TK can be devastating.

It's like in martial arts. The flashy moves are usually reserved for exhibition and training, but when actual fighting starts, most martial artists stick with three types of punches (cross, jab, and hook) and maybe a single kick.

Same thing for unicorns, why exhaust yourself using flashy spells when TK is more effective and efficient.

I have read the Immortal Game and the Bladecasting is a very nice idea. My only problem is the apparent "IFF system" in those pieces of metal, which somehow prevents them from being hijacked by another unicorn. The explanation sounded a bit too ... weird. As a result, the Bladecasting art devolves into a simple numbers game. I can control more blades than you, therefore I have the advantage and I automatically win.

I mean, why not allow the blades to be stolen by another unicorn? Hell, you can actually create a very good system for it. A unicorn can use his/her TK to control as many blades as he wants. However, that spreads out his TK grip among several pieces, thus weakening it. While not problem against pegasi and earth ponies, there is the threat that another unicorn will tear them out of your TK grip and use the blades for themselves.

As a result, you have a choice when fighting other unicorns with Bladecasting. You either use lots of blades, thus having the advantage of multiple angles of attack, but sacrificing fine control and being at risk of losing your blades, since you can't hold on to all of them strong enough. Or, use few blades. This leaves you with fewer blades to fight with, but your grip is stronger and more secure.

Yes, unicorns do have the potential to be OP, but keep in mind that not every unicorn is on Twilight's level. If you use TK only for simple, daily tasks, there is only so much you can lift or for how long you can cast magic without becoming tired. Also, there are ways to defeat even powerful unicorns. Catch them off guard - they need time to cast the spell. Use arrows at close range - I highly doubt their reaction is fast enough to catch an arrow, especially if it's fired without warning. Blind them - you can't hit what you can't see.

3851706
I think the reason that Bladecasting worked that way was to give a clear measure of how powerful a fighter a unicorn is. Even though Rarity had more shards than almost every foe she meets, she still doesn't have an especially easy time of defeating them. Fighting enemies with more shards is part of the package; you have to learn how to avoid the extra ones and use other means besides just your blade to fight. The system also means that when Twilot Sporkle pulls out a blade with, what was it, twenty-six pieces, you know that shit is getting real.

Personally I think the IFF system is crucial to the integrity of the concept. Without it every duel would devolve into a game of who has the strongest TK. You'd have no reason to have more than one shard. If you have two and your opponent has one, then he takes yours and he wins. So just use one, and pick up a piece of rock if you need something extra to block with. It would be absolute chaos, as the emphasis wouldn't be on clever use of what shards you have, but on just wrenching your opponent's shard from them and killing them with brute magical force.

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The flaw of the IFF system is that it makes at least one thing constant in what is essentially a chaotic mess. A battle is pure chaos, the situation changes from second to second, forcing you to keep up, adapt and improvise. If you have a set number of shards available, you have a safety net, yes, but it also takes out some of the suspense, because you know that no matter what happens, Rarity will have x amount of shards and so on. It is essentially like assigning a power level to the unicorn, which means that power level 10 can't beat power level 12. And it is the numerical value that bothers me.

As for using one shard, yes, you could do that and achieve a fine control over it. But what if your opponent is strong enough to take away even that single shard from you? What if the opponent ties up your shard with three of his and then skewers you with the remaining two? What if you use twenty shards, allow the enemy to "take" fifteen of them as a distraction and use one shard to catch him off guard while he's busy taking control of the distractions?

Shards without an IFF adds a new variable to the fight. One that makes the combatants harder to measure and makes predicting the outcome more difficult.

6038498
Just like any other combat you might decide to include in your story, think about all the participants, and the setting. Think of their personalities and styles. Think about what kind of tone your story has. What your style as a writer is.

With a viddy game, you could use the game's setting as your setting, with the personalities of the players superimposed over the participating avatars. If they speak, have the avatars doing the speaking, but use the words the player would use. If one of the players really gets into imagining him/herself as their avatar, they might choose to speak that way while playing. Whatever it is you think the players/story demands.

You could make your setting the physical room the players are actually in. You might make more detached references to their interactions on-screen, with more focus on things like how they hold their controllers, concentrate, the information provided by the UI, as well as a more clinical depiction of moves/counters. What kind of slang/jargon would serious players of this game develop for various strategies and tactics or combos? Read up on tournaments of actual fighting games people engage in in the real world.

Once you have your scene decided, fill it the way Goldenwing described. Figure out a script for your fight with interesting back and forth, initiative, offense, defense, counters, and so on. Write it in a way that keeps things fast-paced and clear, with heavy focus on the action. Include a level of detail that feels appropriate for the amount of intensity or cool-headedness the current moment allows for.

Even if you have two kids on a couch mashing at plastic controllers with their hooves, you can depict it as some kind of super-serious showdown of badass/cool fighters (the avatars), or more comedic and "literal." Gather together three or five friends to play some console fighter game, and when it isn't your turn to hold a controller, listen to what your friends say to each other, how they sit (relaxed or not) their expression, and so on.

When they ask if you're being gay for staring at them so intently, tell them, "nah. I'm doing research for writing a story for My Little Pony."