We're all guilty of this to some extent. We make an OC pony (or human, or Diamond Dog, or gryphon, you get my point) for our writing universe and just kind of toss that pony into the fiction world with little to no background and just drop him into an odd situation.

While convenient for a lazy writer, it alienates your character from the reader and makes them hold no emotional attachment to that character. This is mostly for main characters of course, but it can apply to more important side characters. Instead of just starting with conflict, write about your character's day, dropping hints about his personality and his life in general. Never say anything up front and blatantly, for example. "Life was terrible." In this case, subtlety is your best friend. Describe the grim settings and go through a portion of their life, giving examples while not saying anything out loud. In a way, it's kind of like flirting.

Edit: Over the course of a story, it's perfectly fine to have your character change a little bit. Personal growth is something to be expected from a main character over the course of a fictional situation. The longer and more in depth of a story, the more growth of character that a person can experience. For a more complete description of this, look up the Joseph Campbell's monomyth, also known as the Hero's Journey.

And to develop a character's personality, I have created a little exercise: Take your character out for a night on the town. Where do you go? Do you go drinking, dancing or some other activity? Does this character go home early, or does he stay out all night? All these things and more can provide subtle hints as to the personality and depth of a character, describing who he is and how he goes about life.

Do you want us posting our answers on the thread?

322703 Yes

derp

''Rainbow, you can insult who I am, what I look like, show me hatred, and reject me, but accusing me of being a heartless brute, just because I was a soldier, crosses the line! You have no idea what I go through every night. The faces of friends and foes alike haunt me in my dreams, accusing me of my deeds and actions! Just because I kill does not mean I don't have my regrets!" With that last sentence, I stormed towards the door, leaving a shocked Rainbow Dash behind me. "Constantine, wait!" Twilight tried to call out, but was too late, as I had already yanked open the door and slammed it shut behind me, knocking over a picture.

I could see Luna's luminescent moon in the night sky, offering a pale light to those that would walk the roads of Ponyville at night. The fresh, night time air helped to clear my mind. I walked down the steps and off into what the night life of Ponyville had to offer. As I walked, I came upon a club, with a drunk staggering towards me, with the faint beats of club music in the background. "Heeeyyyy, I fsknow yoush." The drunk slurred as he attempted to keep his balance. "Your thesh one that polks call the... Shmainted Zero! Lit me but yoush a drenk." The drunk said, just inches away from my face. I could smell his breath was thick with alcohol.

"No thanks, I don't drink." I said, trying to sound polite, but sounded a bit more like get the buck out of my face. "Oh comfe on! Ist'll be fun!" The drunk was being persistent; I'll give him that, so I finally gave up and just followed him inside. As soon as we were inside, the drunk passed out. I didn't mind though, I honestly was somewhat glad to be out of his presence. I took a seat on one of the sofa's and got lost in the beat's the D.J. was playing. After what seemed like seconds, a woman in fishnet panty hoes and leather was in front of me.

"Hey there big boy. You look really tense... Maybe I could help you loosen up a bit." The stripper asked in her seductive, yet unattractive voice. 'Why'd I even come here?' I wondered. This place was full of stuff that could leave a man homeless and dead on the street. The stripper sat down on my lap and reached for my pants. Moments later, she found herself on the ground. As I was walking towards the door, she tried to stop me. “What’s the matter hot stuff? Is it your first time?” She asked, sounding as slutty as a high school cheer leader trying to flirt with the varsity captain.

“My momma always said for me to stay out of places like this, and she also warned us of woman like you.” I shot back at the stripper. She stifled a laugh as she a. “Surely you can’t be serious?
Listening to your mother even when you’re a grown man?” As I stood there, I realized this was the first time anyone has ever insulted me about listening to my mother. “… I am serious. And don’t call me Shirley.”

I decided to head to the park, since it was the only quiet place I could think of. As I walked over the bridge leading into the park area, I saw couples with hearts in their eyes, some where breaking up, some where making out, and there was even a man proposing to his fiancé out by the lake. There were musicians playing melancholy tunes that went well with the atmosphere. I finally came upon an unoccupied bench. I sat down for a while and thought. That's what I usually did when I was feeling angry and sad like tonight. I didn't think of any thing in particular though, I just sat down and thought.

As I sat, I realized how many couples were out tonight. They all seemed so happy. The sight of all the happy couples brought me back to a trip in a helicopter with members of my old platoon. Almost half of them had girlfriends or boyfriends. Hell, there where even a few married men in the chopper. They weren’t there to make family proud, or to just protect their country. They all had something worth fighting for… Something worth dying for.

My thoughts where Interrupted by an elderly man with an easel, canvas and some painting supplies. “Mind if I sit ‘ere, lad?” He asked. He had many wrinkles, and his hair and tail where almost transparent. “Sure.” Was all I managed to say. He took the seat next to me and started painting. Quite some time passed before any of us said anything. Finally, I decided to break the silence. “Sure are a lot of couples out here.” I said as I desperately tried to start a conversation. “Aye lad, there is.” He replied as he continued to paint. “Although, you’d be surprised of the troubled history some ‘o these couple’s have.”

I raised my eyebrow, wondering how such happy people could have any kind of troubled past. “What do you mean?” I asked curiously, wanting to know more. “Well lad, some of these boys and girls where abused by their folks and friends. They ended up not being able to trust anyone else, but eventually found a way to love again. Others have regrets that destroyed their self-esteem. They thought they would never be able to find anyone that would love them. All they needed, however, was some guidance in the right direction.”

“Regrets, huh?” I asked in a saddened tone as my head began to lower. ‘We all have regrets that stay with us, even if some of them weren’t our fault.’ As if he was reading my mind, the old man attempted to reassure me, “We all have regrets lad, some heavier to bear than others, and while they are regrets, that’s what they will always be, regrets. And lad, no person was ever defined by what they did in their past, but by how they picked themselves up and overcame those regrets in the present.” I raised my head. “Thanks, but how do you know about the past of all these couples?” I asked, wondering if he was actually a mind reader. “You ain’t the first person to sit on this ‘ere bench and talk the night away with an old geezer like myself.” I looked at my watch, remembering I should probably get back to the library so I wouldn’t worry Twilight. “Its 3 o’clock! I gotta go! Thanks for the talk.” I said as got off the bench and started for home.

I decided to take a look at what the old man was painting. It was two stick figure hugging each other under a tree. “What the-“ I almost finished my sentence, but the old man turned around and interrupted me. “No one ever said my special talent was painting, lad."

326031 This is quite good! I'm not going to nit-pick at grammar (that wasn't the point of the exercise) but I will say that you should start a new paragraph every time you change the speaker.

As for the character, you've done a nice job! At first, I had my doubts though. He seemed like a perfect goody-goody with little flaws. (I note here that being a goody-goody is kind of a flaw, but as a reader, I didn't notice.) The beach scene, however, showed that there was a reason for his personality, and most of my criticisms were quickly dismissed. I'd like to say though, the line 'don't call me Shirley' doesn't seem to fit in with the rest of the tone; I found a little jarring.

I remember seeing a film with a similar character: the guy was obsessed with following rules and he often filed cases against people for doing committing even the littlest of crimes, but people made fun of him.

326339
Really? After I published my first fan fic, and seeing how bad it was, I honestly thought this would probably end like my story... Terrible.

But thanks for the compliment! I typed this on microsoft word so there would probably be alot more grammer errors than there already is.

326031 Sorry that I am just getting back to you on this, but that is spot on what I'm looking for. Though nameless, I feel like I know this person. I can sympathize with him, I can understand parts of him and also see that he has a sordid past, but also room for growth.

Very well done!

328855
Thanks! Glad to know tht I'm making some progress.

My character definitely needs some work... all I can think of right now is that he is a simple farmcolt and he would probably just not drink at all and go home early

Thanks for making this thread! I think if I screw around a bit with my protagonist everything else I was feeling iffy about will start to fall into place.

A bitter wind cut through the Manehatten streets, picking up some of the loose snow that blanketed the city. The wisps swirled through the air before landing with each gust, sparkling as they went. It looked alive, as if the snow was dancing a somber dance through the empty streets without care, living it's brief life before dying as the winds left.

A bell tolled once inside the city, breaking the silence for a brief moment before it was consumed once more. The city looked dead, hardly any lights on inside the buildings that lined the streets. Only a few wondering souls braved the cold night, most heading towards refuge in their homes after a late night.

One however, had different ideas, slowly trotting through the town as if looking for something. A faded and worn scarf was all he had against the elements, the dingy thing offering no protection as his body was slowly numbing. He wore a sad smile none the less, the memories in the ruined thing were more important to him then his physical feelings.

Each step he took sent pricks of pain through his legs, the cold trying to stop him from reaching his destination. He didn't care for the pain; it was momentary in the scheme of things. Slowly he pressed on, his eyes lighting up slightly as he saw the park.

The cold continued to try and stop him from his goal, attacking his lungs now. Each inhale sent small spikes through his throat and lungs; every exhale feeling more labored then the last. He slowed down his pace, trying his best to stay awake long enough to make it even as a few black dots swam in his vision.

He shut his eyes, the path one he knew by heart. He focused on breathing as his legs took him into the park and towards a lone bench overlooking the frozen pond. Sitting down, he let out a sigh, his eyes heavy and his smile gone as he looked over the pond.

The wind picked up again, some of the snow beginning to dance for their lonely audience. He watched on from the bench, a fragment of his smile coming back while his tired mind made shapes in the dancing snow. Two shapes; one a stallion, the other a mare. The shapes danced together, never making a mistake as they gracefully went.

His body was numb, unable to feel the biting cold anymore. He shut his eyes, feeling a small warmth at his side, where she would sit normally. He felt a tear coming to his eyes, only to freeze on his face. "What went wrong..." He asked himself, more tears freezing as he sat.

He lowered his body, laying on the bench now, the area below his eyes icy. "I'll be with you again... soon my love..." With that, he let out one last breath into Luna's cold night.

The snow kept dancing, the shape of a mare laying on the bench next to his cold body. She kissed the top of his head before whispering into his ear, "Not yet..."

330733......are you sure you should be a student and not teaching?

Okay, excellent description and decent character development. I get the feeling that this fellow has lost the love of his life, he is begrieved and following the one path that made him utterly happy in the past. He has regrets, but he has come to this park bench to let go of them. A good job.

330733 This is amazing. Simply a masterpiece of a story. We can easily understand the protagonist's feelings from the setting and his actions, and the description is spot on. I can't find a single thing to complain about. Many kudos

330897 Thank you.. but I haven't done that much story writing; I've only done one fiction that I took down because I lost interest in it... even though it had seventeen likes and one dislike. I'm not too sure in teaching others, though if need be I could try.

331459 Thank you too, I actually left some bits of my idea out because I didn't want it to get too long.. but I'm glad you enjoyed it!

322619
there are some people who do it well, they shroud their OC in mystery, and slowly add to the back story, which then moves the story forward at the same time, "how did i get here" and "le retour" are both good examples of just this (warning, both Human stories)

Silence reigns supreme in this place. Bullrushes stand tall, guardians of the stunted and twisted tree in the centre of the copse. Yellow hooves gently push the blades of grass aside, setting down one after the other almost reverentially as Fluttershy gazes in wonder at the dead-looking thing before her. She lies down in front of it, taking care to be silent and never taking her eyes from the blackened branches.

She gazes for an hour or more, mind drifting back to the protests of the others. It's too dangerous, it's too far, there's no reason to go there, it's just an old dead tree, it looks so awful, there's nothing magical about it. All these voices and dozens more pass through her mind like water, leaving no impact because she knows that just once a year, briefly, this place holds more holiness and wonder than the most ostentatious halls of the Canterlot palace.

Every night of the year she has made the long journey. Every night of the year she has hoped for it to happen, and she is disappointed each time. But she knows it will be worth the toil, worth the sleepless nights, worth the drudgery and pain. Only Fluttershy can understand the animals, can pick up on the myriad of tiny hints and changes throughout the year. To anypony else, they are just random quirks. But she has read between the lines, seen the deeper meaning behind it all and finally realised what they amount to. Even the animals themselves don't know, but they are affected nonetheless.

So she waits. Some nights she has company in the form of a friend indulging her through interest or empathy, but they all tire eventually. Some nights she gets exasperated herself, shouting nameless frustrations at the tree until she collapses in exhaustion. But of course the tree remains recalcitrant.

As all this is running through her mind, and she is just about to give up once more and go home, a few tiny lights glimmer and glitter around the tree, circling and wheeling around as though in celebration. Her eyes, red rimed and heavy from lack of sleep, lose all tiredness and snap open. She hopes and prays that tonight is the night when it will happen, and she will be able to prove her friends wrong, and be the first to witness something beautiful and sad and magical drawn up from the deep-dark bones of the land.

It is just a few fireflies, engaged in a mating dance. Captivating in it's own way, but lost to her as she bows her head and a single tear drops to the blades of grass and hangs there, a drink for thirsty ants. Spirit utterly broken by the false promise, she lets the wave of exhaustion wash over her, and falls asleep amidst the guardian bullrushes. Maybe tomorrow night will bring more luck.

322619
Okay, I have my homework done, I think.
**********************************************
The bell on the wooden door frame rang as the door made contact with it, the ears of the rather large
Diamond Dog straightening as he lifted his head from the counter. With a smile and wave, he greeted
his costumer, a meek but otherwise kindly Griffon who shook the diamond dog's claw with her own.

"Good morning Caboose, how's are you doing ?", she asked with her steely gray eyes locked with his
mint green peepers." How's business?".

The diamond dog known as Caboose smiled more, putting on his best fake smile as he recounted his
day to the smaller griffon." OH, it is good to see you too Miss Grenda! Everything has been much,
MUCH better since you recommended the thing, what do you Equestrians call it? Yoga...yes, yoga!", he
began in his thick Saddle Arabian accent, his sudden and erratic movements putting the griffon into a
small bit of worry, but still allowing him to speak.

"Business is BOOMING my friend! I haven't seen this many customers back home since me and Cable
moved here to find the "Equestrian dream". I kept telling him how things would be different from now
on but did he listen? No and now who's laughing, me that's who", he finished.

Grenda gave a smile only a mother could as she gazed at the energetic, titanic diamond dog with that
small amount of worry still in her eyes. She could see right past his facade, they both knew it as
Caboose looked down to the floor, his ears drooping a little as he did so,

"Caboose...has Cable written to you lately?", she asked as she put a comforting claw onto his open paw,
the same friendly smile still on her face as he looked up speak.

"I...n-no he hasn't, I don't know why but I'm worrying for him", he said as tears began to form in his eyes.
"His superiors haven't told me anything at all and now I'm left to think the unnatural truth that he might
be gone for good this time".

"Hey, hey now...don't cry I'm sure everything will be fine".
***************************************************************************************
This was my answer, I hope it was at least a little good.

My OC would go to the observatory and study the stars all night.

mk, im going to use a character for a story im making. They are in the middle of war between pony factions, who also have some dragons on each side helping. Also, every pony has powers XD. Oh gosh, i barely made up relationships and stuff between each character, WHERES MY NOTES.. im going to try

(i just realized that this is barely like anything you wanted us to write about)

Moonlight Glow was trotting through the run-down town of Ponyville in the dark of night. The war had been going on for only a week, and already the town was out of it. Moon was out looking for more supplies, since her and Aaron, her brother, were running out. She looked about, her eyes having nightvison with her light and dark powers. I should be able to find an abandoned house somewhere, i remember seeing a house...

As Moon came into view of a particular house, she stopped at it's broken door. She knew the dangers. She knew Aaron didn't want her to do this, thats why she snuck out in the night. But they were running low, she had to go in. So she stepped into the creaky house, aware of the tittering of mice and rats. Maybe she could kill a few, with a flash of light to burn their heads. Moon sighed, knowing how unusual she was sometimes. It was only her new found survival instinct from training to fight in the war. She was always determined to fight for the right side of Equestria, training with both the soldiers and at home. Moon lightly trotted towards what seemed to be the kitchen. Maybe they left some food or water there, or even if not, some rodents would be scavenging there. [At this point i feel like this is part of the actual story]

Moon trotted out, careful not to jostle her saddlebag, full with a rat and some water. She took a quick detour towards the edge of Ponyville, to look over the progress of the war. It was going badly, far away she could see fire from explosions. Even if very far away, the Assailants were still close enough to see. She turned, going with a light jog back to her and Aarons' home. She would just have to keep fighting to win this war. A tear trickled down the fur on her face.

i feel like this was a bit... not what would be expected as a comment here

The bright sun shone on top of a large forest path, heating up the ground like heat coming from the inside of an oven. The cool breeze and fluffy clouds were the only things that were keeping things from becoming too hot for both the plants and animals nearby.

The wind was one of the only noises that could be heard as there were barely any animals across the path. The forest seemed empty until a tall, anthropomorphic grey wolf slowly walked through the path. He wore a large frown on his face before stopping to look at the sun with his hand on top of his head, acting as a small shade for his face.

He then let out a sigh before continuing his walk. As he was walking, he came across an old man nearby, feeding the squirrels some nuts. After some thinking, the grey wolf walked towards the old man. "Uh... Hey there," He said while nervously waving at the old man. " Do you mind if I sit right here for a bit since I'm really tired from walking all day."

"Not at all," The old man said, patting his hand on a spot next to him. The grey wolf then sat down on the ground before wrapping his arms around his legs. The old man quickly began to notice the grey wolf's saddened posture and expression. "Have a lot on your mind, son?" The old man asked.

"Huh?" The grey wolf exclaimed. "Oh, it's not important." The old man just shrugged before going back to feeding the squirrels. Some time passed as the silence began building up. The old man then decided to break the silence. "Ya know, I remember one of the times where I did something wrong and felt guilty over them."

The grey wolf then quickly turned his head at the old man with his eyes widened. "Huh?" The grey wolf said. "How did you..." The old man just smiled at the grey wolf before the latter's eyes widened even more.

"It all started back when I was just a young lad like you. When I first moved out of my mother's house and decided to see what the world had to offer, I ran into a beautiful woman who wanted me to help her with something. I didn't know what it was yet, but, suddenly, my own curiosity peaked and I couldn't resist. So I accepted. But very soon, when I found out what I had to do for her, I began to regret it."

"Really?" The grey wolf interrupted. "What was it?"

"I was just getting to that, son," The old man said.

"Sorry," The grey wolf said regretfully.

"Anyway, when I found that she wanted me to help her get revenge on her cheating husband by beating him up, I refused. She then threatened to blackmail me if I didn't do as she asked. I didn't know if it was her looks or the fact that she was going to blackmail me if I refused, but either way, I had no choice. When I found and went up to her cheating husband, I, at first, tried to reason with him, but he refused. Having no other options, I've decided to beat him up until he finally let out that the reason he left her was because she was too abusive towards him and had to leave."

"How did you feel after that?" The grey wolf asked.

"Boy, lemme tell ya. I felt so guilty about what I've done, that I've decided to turn myself into the authorities and was set behind bars for a couple of years. I felt like I didn't deserve to be around anyone due to what I did, that I would never be able to hear the end of it from anyone. Then, all of a sudden, someone told me that everyone makes mistakes from time to time, but ya know what you should do about that?" The old man asked.

"What?" The grey wolf questioned.

"You shouldn't let that stop you from being a better person. You've gotta learn from your mistakes to alleviate yourself into being a better person." The old man replied.

"But what if you've done too many mistakes? What if you feel like you've gone too far to be a better person?" The grey wolf asked.

"Well, son. I think that it's really up to you to know if you think you can be a better person or not," The old man finished.

"Thank you," The grey wolf said genuinely. "I'll remember that" The grey wolf then got up and stretched his limbs before he continued his walk from the old man.