enjoy

Enjoy.

Me:*to pharmacist on phone* Hello sir, I need a prescription filled.

Pharmacist: Okay I need to know what specific medication you need re-filled.

Me: Oh yes. I need one ❤...uhhh enough of it to last a week? Please? It's an emergency!

Pharmacist: Okay ma'am, I am required to ask for what reason. But out of my own curiousity....why?

Me: Oh! I just finished tonight's episode of "Supergirl"....

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When you take a deep breath and you clear your head, only to realise that your past experiences have rendered you numb to the feeling of love and the sweetness it promises. I think I'm officially sterile in that regard.

I'm a shell. A numb, tired shell.

I don't know if it can come back once it's gone.

my wife tells me I can bring joy to others

my wife says my words bring comfort

maybe I no longer believe the world is worth the risk of helping, because humans are fundamentally predatory.

so if the world fundamentally betrays you, what would make you want to share those things with them?

serious question. trolls and bullshit gets deleted and reported.

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story might be a little delayed

or not, maybe I'll feel better if I write

my dog passed away a few hours ago and I'm posting to most accounts I have on the internet to make me feel better

it's not helping much but I didn't really think it would but I got like 3 things going on so I might keep writing just to take my mind off of things

So it's my birthday tomorrow and I am currently panicking but hey, my friends are acknowledging it this year, so at least it's better this year. It's also Labor Day on Monday, but I'll be saying my thank you today.

So school started and everything started and please do not expect anything from me anytime soon, because I have quite literally no time at all. I probably won't be on during the week very much either, so sorry about that.

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I have a post I've been working on for over two months. It's the hardest thing I've ever written. This isn't it.

I miss when this was my fiction output, not my me.

This is a medical update about something not good. (I apologize if this causes distress.)

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ECT has failed. It worked wonders while it was happening, but a week after my last treatment I began to slip. Now a little over a month later, I'm right back where I started.

I am now embarking on about seven different medications at once to see what happens. One of these is lithium, which is likely to help me. Keep your hooves crossed, fillies and colts. Now, what's next? Oh, right.

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