Wedding Problems
I had awoken on a cold and wet forest floor. It was dark, so dark you couldn't even see the tree trunk you were about to hit if you tried to walk. The canopy was very dense, so that not a single star was visible. The noises were scary, too. They seemed to come from everywhere at once. Low growls and hisses from dangerous and probably lethal predators. And I couldn't even move my body right; to flee, if necessary. All the joints seemed a bit off, somehow.
But the worst was the feeling of utter loneliness. I was scared and alone and I didn't know where I was. I didn't even remember what I did before, I remembered nothing at all. But even then I was sure that I've never felt more alone and scared in all of my life.
The sounds seemed to get closer and closer, and it seemed like hours while I tried to make myself as small as possible. But then, out of nowhere, a small light shone through the trees. It was faint at first, but got stronger and stronger by the second. It symbolized hope, and as such it was able to penetrate even the darkest night and illuminate my somber thoughts. It washed them away like a spring flood a paper boat that a child left behind.
I called out towards the light, and cried for help. It came closer, and I felt happiness again. Then the light revealed Gentle Breeze, a pegasus pony just on a walk. But to me he was like an angel, even the light seemed to form a halo around his head. He helped me up again, and cared for me.
And then, out of nowhere, one of the predator sounds pierced through the air, louder than any other before. It was a loud roar, and it would've frozen my entire nervous system if Gentle wouldn't have been with me. But I clutched him nonetheless.
Gentle hurried, and hustled me to climb on his back, as I didn't know how to work my own wings. We took off into the air and pierced through the canopy, even before the animals down below could get anywhere near us.
Then, from his back, I saw the sun just rising over the trees in the east. It seemed like the first time to me that I saw Celestia's mighty sun rise, and it was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen in my entire life.
Six years later.
Today was my special day. Gentle Breeze, my soon-to-be husband was all over the place out of nervousness yesterday, but I had managed to calm him somewhat. But I'm not one to talk, I'm very giddy myself! In the six years since we've known each other, I've never seen either of us this excited.
Well, maybe on the first day. He'd found me in the Everfree forest, as I later found out. I still didn't know anything before that, and I wondered sometimes if my family were still looking for me, or if they were still alive. But I couldn't do anything about it.
As was tradition, I hadn't seen Gentle today. Later, I would walk up to him to the altar in Celestia's temple in the higher district in Cloudsdale. We would kiss, and our love for each other would seal our bond. I couldn't keep my wings calm out of excitement, and the bridesmaids who were helping me beforehand had their fair share of trouble getting me to sit still. I listened only with one ear to their gossip, because my attention was purely on the events of later this afternoon.
Carol, one of my bridesmaids, came over to me and put a little bracelet into my hoof. It shimmered golden with the colors of the rainbow, and had the shape of a shooting star.
"Here, a little present from me. It's a good luck charm. I know you'll like it."
"Oh, thank you, Carol. I'd say I'm already pretty lucky without it, but it's very beautiful. Where did you get it?"
"It's something my uncle from Canterlot made. You know, the professor? He's very good with enchantments, so this'll work like a charm. Hehe, like a good luck charm. He said it even wards off evil spells."
"Yes, that's really nice of him! I... Um..."
Suddenly, I was overcome with a strange feeling, accompanied by a slight tingling around the bracelet. It was like... memories. Memories came flooding into my mind, and it made me very dizzy. Those were... those were my memories, from before my amnesia! All at once, it all came back to me. And a horrible realization came over me. I stumbled, as my head felt like bursting all of a sudden, but I managed to stay upright.
"Are you alright? Sky, are you feeling well?"
"I... I'm alright. But I have to see Gentle. Now!"
As I remembered my life before the Everfree, I nearly began to panic. I shouldn't be here! How did I get here? Those were clearly my memories, I now distinctly remembered every occasion, but at the same time, there were also huge discrepancies in those memories. I didn't know what else to do, I just had to speak with Gentle Breeze.
"But Sky, this brings bad luck! You can't go see Gentle now. He'll-"
"This is more important than some bad luck!"
I marched out of the room, leaving my wedding dress and my bridesmaids behind. Only Carol followed me and tried talking me out of it.
"Carol, I... I just have to do this."
"But why?"
At this moment, I burst into the other room, where Gentle, already in his jacket, was talking to his friend Stormy. As he heard me and Carol, he turned towards me, confusion painted on his face.
"Sky? What are you doing here? Doesn't this bring bad luck?"
"I'm sorry, Gentle. But we need to talk. Now. This can't wait till later."
His face got even more confused.
"Why? Did... I didn't do something wrong, did I?"
I smiled at him. He was so very self-conscious at times.
"No, you didn't do anything wrong."
"Then what is this about? How can I help?"
"Gentle, I... I just remembered. I remembered everything."
He immediately knew what I was talking about, and he got an astonished expression. Then he smiled.
"Sky, that's wonderful, isn't it?"
His smile faded slightly as I didn't share it. I was so confused and panicky, so much so that I sniffed and nearly started crying. It was such a mare thing to do.
"That's just it. I-I'm not sure... I don't know what k-kind of pony I am anymore... I... I just don't know..."
Suddenly, I felt his embrace around me. It immediately calmed me. His warm hooves around me provided me with comfort, and his extended wings around us shielded me from any problems I might had to deal with.
"Let's... let's just get home and talk over this...", I mumbled. He nodded, and briefly turned his head to Stormy.
"Don't worry, we'll sort this out. I'll be back later."
He escorted me outside, and always kept a wing over my back. As I was able to realize just what my memories meant, I began to tremble more and more.
We walked over the clouds instead of flying, but this wasn't an issue since our house wasn't very far away. Along the way, he always stayed close to me, and I could lean against him for support. And I really needed it, because I was barely able to stand.
As we reached the house and went into the living room, the worst of my mental confusions and trembling problems seemed over. I had sorted my thoughts again somewhat, but was still a mess. Random streaks of hair even stood up on my head. I just sat on the couch for a moment, and Gentle fetched a hot chocolate from the kitchen. I hadn't even noticed him leaving. But the hot chocolate was just the right thing for me to calm down again. He knew me so well. I took a few sips while he waited patiently.
"You know... this morning, I had no doubts whatsoever about us. But now, that I remember... I... I just don't know how to feel."
He gently stroked my back.
"Is there still somepony waiting for you?"
"No. Well... my family is still alive and well, but... I... I'll never see them again. I-I just k-know that I can never reach them again."
"Why is that? Surely you can fly to them, even if they live at the other side of Equestria. I'll come with you."
Suddenly, I cried out:
"I-I'm not even a pony, Gentle Breeze. I'm an alien! My family is nowhere near Equestria!"
He leaned away from me only a small moment. I know it was only because of my outburst, but it still hurt. He looked at me curiously, but didn't question me. Instead, he came closer again and asked, genuinely curious:
"An alien? Then how did you become a pony?"
"I don't know... Are... Are you not upset that I'm an alien? I lied to you the whole time..."
"No, you didn't. You were in need of help, and I helped. You didn't know any better at the time. And the mare I came to know is sweet and funny and caring. You'd always help somepony if he needs it. It doesn't really matter to me that you weren't always a pony. What matters is what you are on the inside."
"I suppose... You know, I... I don't really mind being a pony, if I think about it, but... on top of that..."
My voice trailed off. How would you tell somepony what I was about to tell him? I was pretty sure that there was close to no precedence. I took another sip of hot chocolate to calm my nerves again. Then I started anew, just saying it out without further thinking to not loose myself in doubt. Even so, I started timidly.
"I didn't use to be a mare. I used to be a... stallion is not quite accurate... but male..."
My voice became very quiet towards the end to the point of being almost not hearable. Gentle looked a bit shocked for a split second before he wore his caring face again.
"So... you not only changed species, but also..."
I pressed my hoof on his muzzle to stop him from completing the sentence and whispered:
"Yes."
He looked like he wanted to say something more, but didn't push it. We sat there a moment in awkward silence. I just stared into my now empty mug, and pondered my feelings. I still loved him more than anything. But at the same time, loving another male now seemed... inappropriate. Wrong, even. To speak nothing of my body, which was now slightly alien to me. I did have six years to accommodate, but the hard clash I just realized now was only lessened slightly.
Then, we heard a silent noise from the door. After a moment, the post mare flew off, right by our window. To get away for a moment, I stood up.
"I'll see what this is about."
I picked up the letter and turned it around. It was from the hospital. I had forgotten all about that. With my eyes fixated onto the still unopened letter, I walked into the living room again. Gentle stood there in anticipation, but didn't want to have the first word. I smiled weakly, and then opened the letter.
"This is from the hospital. These are the results of the test."
Gentle looked a bit shocked. Maybe he thought that I shouldn't read the results in my current condition. Maybe he was right. I dreaded the results, but at the same time, I just had to know them. Now more than ever. It could destroy me, but I didn't know how I would react either way.
"Maybe you should wait to-"
But I already were reading the letter, skipping whole paragraphs to get to the actual results. Then, I found them, and snickered tiredly. It felt like I was part of a sick joke, and fate had a laugh on my expense.
"Is everything alright?"
In this moment, just as I had read the results, my mind became completely blank, and I just stared at the letter for a few long moments. It was like the biggest thunderstorm you could imagine had been raging in my mind, but just like that, it vanished and left the most beautiful landscape behind. I realized that I had made up my mind. It had happened almost on its own, and suddenly, my feelings fell back into place. Now, a bright and warm light filled my mind. With tears I hadn't realized I had shed still on my face, I said:
"Yes. It just seems fitting. Realizing my condition and then this."
Now, he clearly was at a loss of words. I couldn't blame him. He couldn't know if I would break down in tears any moment, and if those were tears of joy or tears of terror. And he didn't know if this would be from a positive or negative result. But before I broke down in tears, I had to make sure of something vital. Cautiously, I asked:
"Gentle... can you accept me for what I am? Do you still love me? Can you still love me?"
For a moment, he was quiet, as if my question had surprised him. Through that almost imperceptibly short pause, I dreaded his answer. But then he had composed himself, and his answer came with the utmost sincerity.
"Of course, Sky. As I said, it doesn't matter to me if you haven't always been a pony, or even a mare. You are the mare of my dreams, and I love you with all my heart. But... if you can't live like this, then I'll understand that. And I'll help you get back your body and your family, if it's that what you want."
"Thank you, thank you so much! I still love you, too, Gentle. With all my heart."
A huge smile was planted on my face, and now that I knew that I wasn't alone, I let my tears flow. He came over to me to pull me into a hug again. And again, I felt safe in his embrace. I sniffed.
"Thank you, Gentle. I'm so happy, so fortunate to have you. I'm so happy."
"Don't mention it."
After a few minutes in a tender embrace that felt only like seconds, we reluctantly parted again. I smiled at him and dried the tears off my face with a streak of my hoof.
"Thanks. I feel better now."
"Good. So... what did the letter say?"
"I'm...", I said and hesitated only for a short moment. I looked back over my body, and my gaze halted over my belly. Then, with a smile that could outshine Celestia's sun, I turned to him again and continued: "I'm pregnant, Gentle. You are going to be a father."
His face brightened immediately, and he exclaimed excitedly:
"Really? I'm going to be- A-And you are okay with it?"
He had just stopped himself, still conscious about my feelings. It was very cute how he did that and how he looked while he stared at me sheepishly. I snickered.
"Yes, of course. I've made up my mind. I'm happy with you here. Now... weren't we supposed to be at a wedding?"
"Oh, Celestia, yes! We're going to be late at this rate!"
"Well, they can't start without us, so it's no problem, right? Hehe, Carol is going to throw a tantrum."
With that, we left the house to make our way to the temple again. After a few steps, Gentle asked:
"So... what's like to be a mare?"
I playfully snapped my tail into his face and grinned at him.
"You wouldn't ask that another mare, would you? Well... if you really want to know, I happen to have a bit of spare time tomorrow and the weeks after. Want to hang out?"
He grinned.
"I wouldn't miss it for anything in the world."
And then we kissed.
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Could have been better if you made the story longer, instead of cutting to wedding day.
2570479 I know, it was just a quick oneshot idea I wanted to get out. It's based on a comic I've seen a long time ago.
I really hope you liked it anyway!
Yea responding to the blog
I think it sounds like it'd be a pretty amazing story. But I think I can see why people would feel a little turned off; the description leaves me wanting for more. It seems like 3k words is a little on the short side for us to be able to care for the OC's much. But I'm judging this based only off the description, so I'm going to read as well! But something people tend to do on fimfiction actually is judge stories based on description lol, it kind of sucks but I see it all the time; so just kind of a heads up. 
2570518 i reckon that you should do something with these characters. like write what happened in the six year skip.
If you turn 'six years later' into at least an encapsulation scene (short general descriptions of what their life was like), and maybe cut the time down to a couple of years instead of six, this might work better.
Alternatively, you could just start at the wedding day and establish this information through dialogue and flashback.
I will say you'll want to foreshadow the alien reveal a bit. Maybe more than a few ponies think Sky is a little strange in some way that her amnesia doesn't really explain, or she finds herself doing things that 'ponies don't do', generally.
Just some thoughts!
2570518 Oh... but romance doesn't apply to one shot fiction. And maybe, that's the problem of your fic.
So I hope next time, you would expand the story.
I have a lot of ideas inside of my head, and all takes pacing to make it better. So, even with a lot of incomplete stories, I try to type it down, submit it, make the story longer; giving the readers enough information, instead of rushing it.
I would have to agree with Pico, even if this is a very well-written romance story, I would have to say that a longer version would be better to hold the genre. I could say that this is debatably a slice of life fic because this is certainly an identity problem fiction that many people can... mostly... relate to.
otherwise, a very nice story... a little rough in certain spots, but overall very good.
Thanks for the comments everyone!
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Okay, I'll try to expand it a bit in the near future, and maybe write some key scenes that happend during these six years. Could take me a while to think of them, though
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Yes, I would've liked it a bit longer, too. My problem would be that I am a very introverted person, so I'm not able to express my thoughts in words that good. But nothing I can't work on
I was originally coming to see how I liked it and give you a little critique if you need it, but... I don't read romance.
I will not give a thumbs up or a thumbs down since I didn't read it. Sorry!
I decided to give it a try. I have to say, it did feel rushed, but I didn't mind, as I'm a little uncomfortable reading romance fics. I will give it a thumbs up, however. I think this is also a slice-of-life fic, wasn't as much romance as I thought, and might also be a sad fic. I think you should have expanded a little more, and told us her memories, or given a Prologue after the mane story, but other than that, thumbs-up!
2571150 I agree completly
Hey there! Saw your thread in a group and thought I'd drop by to share some thoughts.
First, this is far better than a lot of the slog I wade through. I liked your narrative voice, and I thought it was otherwise mostly solid.
I agree with everyone else who already said the story is a bit rushed, especially with the skipping six years part. I really would have liked to see their relationship grow and develop between their first meeting and the wedding.
You also have some odd grammar quirks going on--nothing "wrong," exactly, but just weird. You might consider finding a good prereader or editor (I know I do) to give general feedback.
2571126
No problem, thanks for visiting
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Thanks! Maybe I'll expand this story a bit, and I'll be definitely keeping in mind that I should write my thoughts out more. It's sadly not as easy as it sounds.
2571248
But that's what I'm here for. And I'll definitely look for prereaders if I'll ever have another story to post!
I probably have these grammar quirks because I'm not a native speaker. Looks like I'm still not a master of natural language
2571297
I know it's not easy, but you can do it! Also, I did decide to read it, as you can tell.
2571297
Honestly, I never would have guessed this. So kudos to you.
Could of been longer (Got here via your forum post.) But I liked it, not bad for a first story. Keep it up.
I read it and I liked it.
Some of the issues are:
Some of the writing and grammar were a bit weird in places, but everything was put together well and I was never left scratching my head as to what was meant by a particular line because of glaring syntax errors (a problem I've been having with some pretty famous fics lately that've been around for a while). I can elaborate on gramatical issues and examples of where it was awkward in the writing in a PM if you like. There were also things left unexplained, major things suchas where Sky got her... well, you know what Im talking about. I'm not trying to spoil the story, now. But that is something I was very curious about. Did it belong to a prevous pony? Also, did anything particular trigger her memories or did they just happen? The story also felt like it could have been fleshed out a bit more. It felt like just the beginning.
What I liked:
I liked the feels in the story as well as the message, and his reaction. His reaction could have been any number of tihngs --
. I also love tribute works, because they tend to be done with care... my understanding is this is based on a comic? All in all, good job. 
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Thanks!
I'm a slow writer, but I'll keep going!
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but I'd really like it if you'd point out the weird passages, that'd really help me better understand the english language! As to her body, the idea is that she was transported and transformed through some unknown magics, pretty standard. So there was no previous pony. Also, I tried to hint that the bracelet that she got as a present triggered her memories. I thought it was rather clear, though.
Glad that I'm understandable
And yep, it is based on a comic. Though I didn't manage to find it again
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In a couple of days I'll go back and examine everything. Send you something with suggestions. It may be a bit long, but I'll have it organized well enough
Your English is really good as well as your ability to convey ideas
One question -- how do you hide the spoilers behind the dark bar? Dunno how to do it and it's been driving me crazy
2577644 I'm happy that you're helping me
but take all the time you need, no need to hurry, I'm slow myself 
The dark spoiler bars are made with the [ spoiler ] tag, without the spaces, just like italics and other formatting.
that was some awesome/weird stuff there.
2595002 Thank you
Didn't think I'd see another r63 story until I finished the one's I want to read, personal note aside, this is good enough for a one-shot. It compressed enough to make the concept clear and garnered a slight twinge of emotion for what could have been. While I consider this too short to truly enjoy given the severe shortness, I say this story is ideal for giving others inspiration.
Added to rule63 and transformation groups.
Meh.
Read it. Didn't take long. So short in fact that it had neither impact nor really character.
Your writing needs to be punched up a bit. Honestly, this felt more like a sketch than a story. Lots of telling, not a lot of showing.
I might also wonder at the point - we don't know who these characters are, we don't really identify with them. It just comes and goes. No drama, no sense of urgency, no conflict. In, out, boom.
If you want original characters, they need to be established. If you want us to care, their likability needs to be established. If you want us to worry, their conflict needs to be established.
This is all right as a first attempt, but you're going to need to do better than this.
Don't let my criticism discourage you - there is promise in you, I think, if you're willing to practice and take your lumps in criticism.
Wow, this is an awesome story!
You did well creating this story, sir
. Is it safe to assume that you will have a sequel to this story (or that you will improve this one, at least)? I respectfully demand to know
.
Thanks for the replies!
3273203 Thanks for adding the story to the groups. It's really noticeable how more people come here
3273229 True. This story really was some kind of experiment, it was the first time I really posted a story of mine. Now that I got feedback from people that aren't my family I can see what I have to improve on. It was eye-opening, so to speak. And thanks for believing that there's promise in me, it's nice to hear
3275435 You demand!? Well... okay then
I'd really like to improve this story, and even write a sequel! The problem is, I just can't do so right now. My bachelor thesis is due in two months, and it is just too time consuming
Not to speak of all the video games that constantly call out, "Play me, TigeR, play me!"
Some time next year, maybe? I can't promise anything at this point, sorry.
Thouroughly enjoyable to read. That is an interesting hint on who or what did that to her that a charm that wards off evil magic is what removed the amnesia.
That's very cute
although, i'm sorry, but
SEQUEL!!!!
Well... I was apprehensive at first by reading this...but I enjoyed it immensely. It may have been short, and it may have left plenty of holes in the plot, but for a short story...it was absolutely delectable.
Thank you very much.
ISA
That was nice, even if shorter than i would wish. a sequel would be cool if you ever do get the time and the motivation at the same time.
Maybe something covering the time skip?
or a piece where Gentle Breeze has second thoughts about all this due to his girly-girl(marey-mare?) wife has started acting a lot more tomboyish(tomcoltish?) But then of course he falls in love with this new(old?) Sky too because the [sad] tag is lame.
Lots of interesting directions it could go. Just spitballin' here.
4494495 Thanks for your comment, I really like getting those!
I was thinking that I'd do something like a rewrite rather than a sequel/prequel, because it's still the same story in my eyes. The first part really needs more to it, and I was planning to fill the time skip some more, even if I can't remove it entirely.
You bring up some interesting ideas, too. I haven't thought about the after-the-wedding at all, and I might use that, if or when I write some more.
Time really is a problem for me, I have half a dozen projects now that I have to finish for my masters degree. I might be able to dedicate a few hours to writing, but the even bigger problem is motivation. I just... never sit down and start, instead I'm programming random stuff.
I agree with many of the commenters here, that the story could have been expanded upon. Your story has great potential to have a good back story, while you said you may not write one, I think it would make for a good read. I would like to read how Sky dealt with being an amnesiac, getting through rehabilitation to learn how to write and do other tasks, and what occupation she takes after rehabilitation. Then you could cover their courtship, where Gentle Breeze first works up the nerve to ask her out, and in later chapters, go over their life after their wedding for a handful/hoofful of chapters.
I was going to say you don't have to make it a prequel, just write some chapters out and have this somwhere in the middle or later half, but that wouldn't make much continuity sense.
I'm going to wrap up my comment with a congratulations and thanks for a well written story. A story that I feel has great potential to be expanded upon. I really like reading it, and just finished reading it a second time, before commenting.
4494495 -
I had a though on this: Perhaps Sky wasn't so much a 'girly-girl' as you say, like Rarity, Fluttershy or other characters, but has some tomboy tendencies in her psyche as a hold over from her forgotten past. She doesn't have to be too girly at all. She could be somewhere in there like Applejack: just girly enough to be a mare, but still be outgoing and tough.
5517821 Thanks for commenting! It makes me smile every time someone takes the time and effort to write something down for me.
Comments seem to be a great and inspiring source of ideas for the prequel. And every time I read through those, I get even more ideas and want to write something
But writing for me is only a minor hobby, so there are other things I'd rather do most of the time. Add to that a ton of projects I have to do for various university courses, and I just can't justify another new project
But if everything goes well, I'll be done in a year. Perhaps I'll have the time to write some more then? Who knows
All I know is, I'll consider everything written in the comments and put in even more effort!
5518961 - I hope your studies and projects go well then!
Like many fans, I would like to see something a little sooner, but being a former student myself, I know full well the deadlines and importance and priority school work is. 
I would say something about writing, but it would seem a bit pushy, but know that I have this story favorited, and will return to it when I need something to keep my mind occupied.
I thought of a few questions for you to think about, if you haven't thought about them yet:
i.) What do Sky and Gentle do for work?
ii.) How was Sky's rehab?
iii.) How did Sky get her name?
iv.) How feminine is Sky: did any of her previously male traits carry over into her new personality? - Did she act like a tomboy a lot, but grow more feminine over the six years to their wedding?
If I think of anymore, I'll post them here.
5678074 SO MANY QUESTIONS! WHERES THE ANSWERS!
SORRY FOR THE DOUBLE POST... BUT...I CANT HELP BUT NOT SING ME AND MY BROKEN HEART WHILE READING THIS
6363519 - They might be answered when and if the author is willing to update and add to the story. I was told that they (the author) would update after some time, and I actually forgot about the story for some time. I'm still hoping for an update though, as I'm sure many others are too.
6536417 *shrug* of there is a sequel I would probably not know :P
6536417
6536791
I am writing my master thesis during the next half year and plan on earning a doctorate after, and this story has just too low a priority for me to write a sequel in the forseeable future, sorry
I'd rather explore a few other of my ideas first, though they would be of a different genre than this story.
6538334 knew it lol. NOW TO WRITE ALL THE RIGHT MOVES PARODY Q.Q
I liked this!^_^ It was cute!^_^ And really nice!^_^
Too bad Sky didn't get to keep her dick. You know, hermaphrodite ponies are a thing. If I ever get turned into a mare, I hope I keep my dick and balls.^_^
Preferably a mare who looks like a pony Weiss Schnee. And has ice magic. That's be so cool!^_^(yes, pun intended)
Interesting idea well done. Curiously, I wrote something quite similar to this without being aware of it.
Heh =3
- MLP: FiM
- Dark
- Mystery
Will this end well?Great minds think alike eh? :3