There was him. Stranded far from home, he makes a way for himself in a life granted to him through the powers that be. On the eve of her second visit since the disaster, he recalls the events that led him to his present. Slowly he begins to discover that the most important achievement in his life may not be what he has accomplished, but what he gained in the process through the decisions he has made.
There was her. A majestic, nearly all powerful alicorn who suddenly finds an unexpected arrival to her domain. As the years pass she watches the new arrival, sending him on a series of quests so as to discover his true potential, only to loose his loyalty after watching him endure the hardest set-back of his life. On the eve of her second visit, she soon finds herself forced to consider the possibility that the new arrival may be the only one capable of redeeming her lost love.
(This is an intended eight-part story that is still in-progress. As written it exists in an alternate universe other than the traditional MLP universe. I do hope you enjoy it and I eagerly await any comments or critique.)
This is actually interesting.
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Thank you. I appreciate your comment concerning the story! I am glad that it has turned out to be interesting. I find it simply refreshing to write and look over. I hope that your statement will hold true throughout the rest of the short.
I demand more attention to this story by the audiences!
Keep up the great work.
Edit: And when's the next chapter ready?
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Reactor,
Thank you sincerely for your very welcoming and encouraging comment. I appreciate your support in attempting to drive attention to my story, and I greatly appreciate your time spent in reading my work.
Concerning your question, the next chapter (or part) is (as of the moment of typing this reply) halfway completed. I have been purposely slow in continuing to write it due to my feeling of caution on my own behalf, since I do not want to overdo myself with this wonderful writing hobby I now have. Most of my time is spent concentrating on work and therefore if I were to make writing a priority I would risk it becoming too burdensome and probably encourage writers block. I sincerely apologize if this is an issue to you and/or my readers, but I hope my explanation resolves any negative feelings towards my method.
Thank you, very deeply, for your encouragement. I hope if you find any issues with the story you will be equally communicative towards them so I may improve.
With Deep Sincerity,
Shane
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Additionally I noted a comment deleted under your name. If I misclicked and deleted it by accident, I deeply apologize. I was attempting to edit my prior reply to your comment and do hope I did not mistakenly delete any comment you posted. How or why this would have happened I do not know, but just in case.
2720795 Nah, that was just me failing with the edit button.
Sorry about that.
The whole phantom thing seems very interesting, also the fact that he's not on Equestria nor on Earth. (Tho I have a vibe that that's going to change soon.(Not that it's a bad thing)). Also the flashbacks are great. It's nice to hear the protagonist's past that way, a format I myself like a lot. You keep the flashback short, yet they contain a lot of information without overloading the reader.
Waiting eagerly for the next chapter
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Reactor,
Thank you for the input. I had not gathered that viewpoint from my work, but I am extremely satisfied my method of keeping the flashbacks simple and to the point (Oh how I hope they are...) is proving fruitful. As I reply to this, I am adding the finishing touches to the fourth part. I do hope that what awaits within to be read will be to your satisfaction.
I should have it up shortly before I decide to sleep for the evening (I work nights).
With great thanks,
Shane
Ah, another great chapter. I couldn't find any mistakes, though as English isn't my native language, I might have missed some.
You actually made me feel sorry for Edward, that alone is quite a feat in my books.
Poor Luna.
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I found some. In the beginning half where I depict the episode between the Main Character and Luna, I state "stood" three times in a single paragraph. I facepalmed. Oh well...I'll fix it later. Thanks for looking though!
As for Luna? Yeah....I felt extremely cruel writing that piece.
Oooh, Sombra. Wouldn't have guessed, even when you did give us hints. Man, I want to know who's Yoaral. Some sort of god?
Great chapter as always. :)
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Thank you, as always, for the comment.
I felt I was giving the right hints to the readers so they could give an accurate assumption as to who the mystery pony was, but it appears I may have hidden it *too* well. Regardless, I hope the reveal wasn't overdone and overly dramatic.
Yoaral is a *very* important figure in their society. The meaning of his/her name is translated from a specific english word. If you figure it out, you may be able to see a bit into the plot there.
:)
so far so good! keep it up :3
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Thank you, very much! I appreciate greatly the motivation!
I definitely shall keep it up, as long as I can. I've already got the latter chapters planned and, if this goes well, have planned a continuation. Thank you very much for your comment!