Princess Cadence needs your help: my patience will not last forever. She needs to learn to fly, and it may be now or never. She needs to get her wings. She must take to the sky. Please help her learn the secrets of the pegasi!
Oh, one more thing—whatever happens:
DON'T LET THE PRINCESS DRIVE THE CELESTIAL PHAETON!
This is a fanfic of a series of fanfics by one the best fanficcers to ever fanfic a fanfic, Skywriter. This fanfic fanfic is completely unofficial and not canon to Skywriter's excellent Cadance of Cloudsdale cycle of fanfics. It's just a tribute.
You made me look up the word "phaeton".
I suppose you've helped me learn a new thing today. That means congratulations are in order. The flowers will be shipped to your address within a week's time, or I get my money back!
All of a sudden, there shined a shiny demon... in the middle... of the road.
And he said:
"Write the best fanfic in the world, or I'll eat your soul."
Well me and Sky, we looked at each other,
and we each said... "Okay."
And we wrote the first thing that came to our heads,
Just so happened to be,
The Best Fic in the World, it was The Best Fic in the World.
~~~~
Needless to say, the beast was stunned.
Whip-crack went his Whoopy tail,
And the beast was done.
He asked us: "Be you angels?"
And we said, "Nay. We are but ponies."
From start to finish, this was a true treat to read!
First of all, the writing is exquisite and you've captured both the tone Skywriter's young Cadence and the constant tension of her relationship with her inscrutable, immortal Aunty perfectly.
The rest of the story is a wonderful mixture of pathos and humor. I have to admire your audacity in throwing in a literal Noodle Incident, and love the idea that Luna is the phaeton-builder of the family. And the constant butterfly metaphors (particularly the one about Canterlot being her chrysalis) while perfectly appropriate and innocent on their own, appear in an interesting light, knowing what is going to happen.
Finally, one of the many things I love about the whole "Cadance of Cloudsdale" saga is the way it conveys the power and sheer size of Celestia. It's easy for us in the show's audience to ignore it, but the Princess of the Sun towers over the stallions of her personal guard, totally dwarfing average-sized ponies such as Twilight and her friends. Moments like Celestia showing up at Cadence's bedside show that very well.
All in all, I'm waiting for the second part with great interest!
Nice job!
I think the characterisation is done really well here. Celestia is still motherly and caring but seems just a little out of touch with the world. Cadence is going through that "awkward teenager" phase where she feels weird and a little angsty. The diction here is also nice and varied, and the humour injected feels natual. I applaud you for this excellent story. Looking forward to part 2! (Not to sound rude but is there a vague release date? )
Also, two small questions: Around which time period does this take place? Is it before or after Cadence goes to Cloudsdale? And what is the relation to the show's timeline?
Pega-ace
It's beautiful. Thank you so much. Faved so hard that it momentarily discolored my touch screen. More soon.
Fantastic story, though i keep doubletaking when Kheydinss uses stages of insect development in relation to herself. that isn't a bad thing. keeps me from just scanning.
Woo hoo you used the word kiwi that made my night, but I'm pretty sure you would just say kiwi not kiwi bird.
Ps. I'm from nz and it's nice to see our national bird pop up somewhere.
This is great. Can't wait to see how the lovely little Princess manages to... "enhance" the situation.
2770177
Then it would be confused with the fruit.
2770180 meh any one that confuses it with a fruit deserves to be confused, a fruit longing for flight still works.
So far so...utterly spectacular!
2769522
Rock.
This was great, and totally indistinguishable from Skywriter, which if it is what you were going for means, well! Success!
Ever so slightly disappointed:
Not to find more Moe Willems riffs in here--that cover image is so incredibly perfect!--I enjoyed every other thing about this. Looking forward to the conclusion!
Mike
2769478
Just the definition isn't enough, there's also a bit of double meaning here if you know your mythology.
I remember that book series OuO
Is it wrong that my first thought upon seeing the title was "Don't Whiz on the Electric Fence"?
In any case, you've definitely set up something fantastic. I'm eagerly looking forward to Part Two.
http://www.google.com/#output=search&sclient=psy-ab&q=don%27t+let+the+pigeon+drive+the+bus&oq=don%27t+let+the+&gs_l=hp.3.0.0l4.674.2421.0.3504.14.13.0.0.0.0.193.1338.8j5.13.0.crnk_timediscountc..0.0...1.1.17.psy-ab.Rt8VC6vnFVc&pbx=1&bav=on.2,or.r_qf.&bvm=bv.48293060,d.eWU&fp=85cf674c600ee73&biw=1366&bih=673
That is all. (You'll need to copy/paste some stuffs...)
That bit in Celestia's room about Cadance having some kind of empathy/mind control effect on her guards was kind of creepy. Especially the part where Celestia flat out told the two that they were "Lost to her".
I've been loving the "Cadance of Cloudsdale" stories, so what a treat to see that you've penned one that fits so well in that excellent exploration of what it is to be a princess. As with the main series, there's a definite crackle in the interactions between Celestia and Cadance. I do enjoy these depictions of the Alicorn of the Sun... wise and caring, and yet it's still understandable how the younger alicorns like Luna and Cadance might chafe under her wing. (I especially liked the little nod to Luna here... Nice to see her bitchin' ride was a labor of personal love. I certainly hope she didn't have anything to do with designing Twilight's ugly future ride though... unless she was still holding a grudge about being blasted with a rainbow.) Meanwhile, Cadance herself displays a quite believable self-absorbed childish viewpoint that makes you pity Celestia some.
I'm looking forward to seeing this extreme flight camp plan of Celestia's unfold... I enjoy the idea of a teaching method based on stranding children with no means for escape!
I just got to say acording to the book magical mystery cure cadence was origenally a pegusi and that is a cannon book.
2771002
The cycle that Ponydora is writing in was conceived before the release of "...Crystal Heart Spell", of course, and there's a limit to how much I'm willing to go back and change in light of later canon revelations. I have always held, however, that this is actually less of an issue than it appears. Canonically she was a foundling pegasus, raised by earth ponies, and it is eminently credible that she'd have many of the same issues with flight as described here under these circumstances. As for being raised as a goddess, Berrow claims that baby Cady was so absolutely glowing with a compassion-aura even when she was a pegasus that it filled everyone, not just her family, with the desire to watch over her and protect her, and when you hold that up against "raised as a literal goddess", the distinctions begin to blur in my eyes.
Anyway, this is starting to turn into a thread-hijack, so I'll quit now.
i read that discription in the tone of the crystal ponies song it was pretty funny xD and sounded pretty good :P
2771067no issue just wondering if you knew
Do I sense shades of 'Don't Let the Pigeon Drive The Bus' in here?
2771220
Yeah, I was all over that book the day it came out. Fanboy desperation ahoy!
The information I have will change your life.
Ask yourself this, man, just ask yourself, right, has anyone ever seen Ponydora Prancypants and Skywriter in the same room?
I ain't sayin' nothing. I ain't. I'm just asking questions, right. Draw, you know, draw your own conclusions, man. Free your mind. Don't let The Man tell you what to think.
And ask yourself this, too, know anyone else who writes this good? 'Course you don't. 'Course you don't.
Funny, ain't it?
I mean we have all these human ponyfic authors, all over the place, and they are writin' up a storm, sure enough, but none of 'em--none of 'em--write this good.
Look I'm not sayin' nothing. Nothing. Just. You know. Ask yourself. Humans can't write this good. Can't. But these 'two' do. So...
i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/158/329/9189283.jpg
2770197
OOOOooooooooOOooon!
These two! Just the fact that you have your own "Noodle Incident" fills me with joy. There needs to be a brohoof equivalent for C&H fans so I can give one to you. And an airship regatta starting too! Is it the last the Alicorn cup?
I feel like it would be really interesting to to see this story from Celestia's point of view. Did she think "I'm going to do something really silly now" before she removed the wall from the healer's room and dove out to show off for a filly? For that matter, I feel like there's a hilarious civil service style story in there somewhere. Whose crazy day culminated in having to replace an entire wall of a tower in Canterlot castle because the princess decided she didn't need no doors? I guess the best stories are great from any angle. But really, I think Cadence is good for Celestia. I feel like she's learning just as much as Cadence from having real, personal interaction with someone young at heart instead of just nobles all the time. This is so clearly the same Celestia Skywriter writes about, but I haven't felt this much sympathy for her in any of the CoC cycle proper. I'd follow you again if that was possible.
My childhood...
Thank you, good sir.
"Right. Well. The noodles were my fault. I could argue that the new spells that had to be developed to fix the whole thing were a valuable contribution to the culinary archives at the Library of Magic, but I decide to leave it alone and remain silent."
An honest-to-goodness Noodle Incident!
In fairness to Cadance, that sounds like a fantastic parade.
I have the strangest desire right now for a flag of my own.
Had a feeling when this story was announced in the blog post that it was going to be great, Ponydora, and it absolutely was. I am very much looking forward to part two.
Faved on principle.
Mo Williams for President!
I loved these books. Definitely reading.
OMG Yes!!
Wonderful addition to Cadence's background, and perfectly told in the somewhat-archaic voice that Skywriter uses to such good effect. It's been too long since you've written anything new, Ponydora. Next chapter better come out soon!
This is such a cute first half of a story, eh! As others have said, you've worked it into Skywriter's Cadance of Cloudsdale series extremely well, and your Cadance comes across really clearly. I'm looking forward to reading the second half of this, eh!
2771535
Ghost, I've never been in the same room as you, either.
DUH DUH DUHHHNNN!
2769478>>2770536
All credit for cleverness goes to Lauren Faust, who had Celestia's carriage depicted as an actual phaeton beginning in Season One.
derpicdn.net/media/W1siZiIsIjIwMTMvMDEvMTkvMTdfNDNfMjZfNjI1XzIxNzQ5Nl9fVU5PUFRfX3NhZmVfcHJpbmNlc3NfY2VsZXN0aWFfcm95YWxfZ3VhcmRfcm95YWxfZ3VhcmRzX2NoYXJpb3QucG5nLnBuZyJdXQ/217496__safe_princess-celestia_screencap_royal-guard_keep-calm-and-flutter-on_chariot_royal-guards.png
Phaeton carriage
buggy.com/new/phaeton.jpg
As a bonus, I think a similar joke image to this comic from 1796 would probably be pretty funny in Equestria
library.yale.edu/walpole/images/exhibits/hair/phaetona.jpg
2769522>>2770197
If only I hadn't accidentally deleted the first version of this story! Now all I've got is this lousy tribute.
2769675
Thanks so much! I've tried to capture a bit of the same feeling as Skywriter does, knowing that I can't exactly copy his style, and then infused my own silliness and fluff. Also, I figured that since Cadance is Italian, she might as well have an actual noodle incident to her credit.
2770192
You are! And thank you so much.
2771067>>2771002
Thanks to Skywriter for the assist! He's answered your question better than I can.
2770477
Will you forgive me if Cadance goes, "Vroom vroom! Vroomy vroom vroom! Princess at the wheel!" in the next part? And thanks, I'm such a fan of yours, so any kind words from you are special to me.
2770947
I can barely even remember how many sleep away camps I was shipped off to as a child, ranging in an awesomeness scale from Space Camp () to scout camp () to a camp for children with asthma (). I spent most of a summer at a marine biology camp, which was pretty sweet. So maybe that part is a little bit close to home, hehe.
2770733
It is creepy. There's more than one reason Cadance needed to be shipped off to her own kingdom, eventually.
2771535>>2774942
I thought we were on the same street once, but it turned out he was only near a bratwurst establishment with the same name as my local spiced sausage facility.
This comment thread has become so very epic. Contained herein are words from all the shining lords of ponyfic.
2775595
Perhaps they shouldn't have picked a kingdom that amplifies and projects such powers over all of Equestria though.
Really, I think Shining Armor should use the crystal set-up for a radio broadcast. Think of the ratings that Shining, Cadance and their morning zoo crew could get. You know... once somepony builds some radios.
2775535
Thank you in return!
The phrase from the book that immediately popped into my head was "I'll be your best friend." Spoken by Cadance, one suspects those words might carry a certain extra weight...
Mike Again