[Update January 2020]: I apologize to those that had taken a genuine interest in this story. I don't see myself finishing it ever, as what I find interesting and fun to talk and write about have changed significantly since I started this story. Still, I won't be deleting it, as its still important to look upon old projects for guidance and lessons. Hiding it wouldn't do anything good.]
There wasn't a single thing I wanted more than to live my life in Equestria. I would have killed for this opportunity! But now... I just want to leave.
My name is Amaron, I'm 18 years old, and I'm now a test subject for some secret corporation. I don't how or why I got here, but at least until they manage to bring more humans over, I'm classified as "too important for dangerous testing". Hopefully that doesn't change anytime soon.
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No previous knowledge of the SCP Foundation is needed in order to understand this story. Basically, its a secret organization that collects anomalous objects, creatures, and other unnatural things, and keeps the world safe from them. More information on the SCP Foundation can be found here. There is also a free game called SCP Containment Breach, found here.
Character tags will be added if/when they appear.
Rated Teen for taking place in a semi-dark universe, Dark tag for... spoilers.
Cover image taken from here: http://www.deviantart.com/art/SCP-Foundation-Background-1-336854099
This is my first story. Critique is appreciated.
A bit of a different twist on the whole SCP story line but so far it's pretty dull. Guy wakes up in some SCP facility and gets put in a room. Okay. Now what? There's no real draw or hook here to make us want to follow the story.
Had you gone into more depth about how he was brought here, or what the circumstances are of him being here are then maybe there'd be something. But right now, it's not even worth a watch.
this seems ok for now. A little dull but I have a feeling it'll get better the further down the road.
Interesting. Go on...
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I had planned to reveal most of the information regarding the premise in chapters 2 and 3. I guess this is just me testing the waters before I jump in.
2751672well that makes sense.
but keep going man I like it so far
cool a SCP Fic if you really want to make it really DARK add SCP-610 or SCP-106
I know the SCP Foundation is supposed to be amoral, but so far it all seems just unnecessary, except to paint them with a giant sign saying "we're the bad guys!"
2751672
That's cool. But testing the waters or not, you usually need something to draw the reader in beyond just the SCP connection.
Just my 2 cents.
2753245
Thanks! I'm pretty new to writing in general, I'll keep this in mind.
Chapter 2 should be out either tomorrow or Sunday, possibly Monday if I spend too much time making sure there are no grammatical errors; (mostly) everything will be explained then.
Being an avid fan of SCP I am rather curious to see where you go with this.
I'm just as curious to see what other SCPs might be lurking in Equestria.
You, my friend, have my interest.
Okay, time to toss my 2 bits in, I guess.
I have to agree with the other guys in that this is not looking very good. One base you missed, rather hard at that, is that one of the Foundation's mottos is "we're not the monsters". Showing this much apathy towards an SCP that is fully cooperative is rather uncalled for, and due to the risk of making it hostile, can even be grounds for a reprimand. As it is, it looks severely like you're just making the staff to be a bunch of goyts... and I can't feel comfortable with that.
too little text,too little fucks given.
-1 like.
I vote you make your own SCPs. It's a lot cooler that way, as the fans of SCP are usually pretty familiar and know them. On a side note, this is quite better. The Dues Ex Machina is actually an interesting SCP (If it is an SCP, I haven't read that one yet). If it's original, I like it. However, it really does make me roll my eyes. It seems contrived, despite the Foundation capable of even weirder stuff than that.
And good on you to straighten up the SCP interaction between doctors and subjects. Be courteous if he cooperates, be harsh if he doesn't. You got that down. And is Bright Light a reference to that other SCP story on the site, or Dr. Bright himself?
Also, here's something awesome.
Yeah this helps man. Thanks and it sounds much better
I'm thinking about ditching the current description for something new. The more I read it, the less I like it.
I got a very strongly worded PM about how bad my story was, simply due to the main character being a brony... I guess that's where the sudden surge in downvotes came from. It really hurts.
Doctor Bright Light is indeed a reference to the infamous Doctor Bright. As for whether or not he'll appear in the story, we'll see.
Chapter 3 will be out in about a week from now, since it is significantly longer than 1 and 2 (currently numbering 2,200 words, expect 5,000-ish).
Woot.
>>OlimarandLouie I NEED MOAR!!!!!!!!!!!!
>I saw a few chairs with desks to, a door leading to what looked like a testing chamber of some sort.
I am unsure of what this is supposed to mean
>No, its just a saying
>Yea, its just
>but its the same one I found
*it's
>whats interesting about my behavior
*what's
It feels like iv been waiting a year MAKE MORE!!!! please.....
Hmm a human as an SCP object the idea has merit. There isn't much to this story yet but I think I'll keep an eye on it.
So far my biggest like is that you seem to be doing a bit of world building, I find the best crossovers of this kind are where the author doesn't just copy paste whole chunks of the stories being crossed over. My biggest dislike is that your chapters are a bit short and undescriptive for my taste.
Good story so far. It sounds like SCP-682 breached containment
Damn, and it was just getting good. Where are you author? Did you get captured by SCP?
I NEED MORE !
It's been a year already :(
Come on man, update already!
I love dead things just like dead fanfics
SCP - 000 - 1 “Infinity Machine”
A strange device of unknown origin that appeared next to 682 one night. No staff or Class-D’s have any knowledge of where this device came from or what i did prior to discovery. Not even 682 was able to identify the cube-shaped device.
000-1 has the unique ability to do litterally anything the current owner wishes it to do, but only works with sentient biological substances and is the only known 9th dimensional object ever. The “Infinity Machine”, as it was dubbed after scientist James Hradrow became the first owner and discovered its strange abilities. Nothing else is known about the device except the fact that it is not of this dimension and is slightly damaged, how and why it was damaged is a mystery, but the damage made it to where the device cannot create another one of itself and cannot create any kind of cheese.
Tell me what you think about this SCP. Is it good? Is it bad? BTW SCP-2526 is actually a lichen that grows over everything and has not ability to create its own energy, and it occurs where lots of deaths happen, the reason why it ovcured first in a hospital.
shit like this is why the SCP wiki bans ponies
Did anyone else continued this story or is it dead forever?
Man right when it was getting interesting! I really hope this story isn't dead....
9387561
Last chapter was in 2013... It's dead mate.
Why do so many good SCP stories die?
I guess this is going into my “Dead stories folder that uses soft language to make me think that they will update in the future” folder.
9896285
Its good, I will agree, but I think of 1 reason why its so short.
The main character just learned that the magic 8-ball is the cause of him being there. He also now know how it works.
and he could (in theory) just ask it to return him home.
and if that don't work... the magic 8-ball still have the potential to be overpowered.
Ah, people spelling amnestics as "amnesiacs". Truly, a constant in SCP fiction.
Ahhhh misunderstanding the object classes as if they were danger classes despite only really telling you how the SCP interacts with the box test. Classic SCP pitfall.
(RIP old fic)