Having made peace with Twilight Sparkle after the fateful incident with the Alicorn Amulet, Trixie attempts to regain her foothold in the world as a traveling magician. When one of her many mishaps on the way out of town with a rival performer leaves her with a reason to fear for herself, Trixie returns once again to the librarian for help, only neither of them truly understand how serious the playful curse will eventually turn out to be.
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You can do with saying "Humanized ponies" in the description, more isn't needed.
2848057
Fair enough! New to fimfic, me and my friend thought it'd be a good idea to make it clear but I understand ^.^.
2848067
Some people may not get it, but 99% should be smart enough to get the point
Also, can't help but notice that you didn't add "Humanized ponies" in the description...
2848078
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It was silly of me really considering that the story establishes all that is needed to be understood later on anyway, so yeah, first clownish messup on a new website
Actually they added an Anthro tag if it helps any.
Human Trixie turning into pony?
Brilliant idead, Navi!
Hm. Definitely watching this.
Looking forward to seeing how this unfolds.
Oh hai.
Yeah.
I lol'd.
WARNING! ANTAGONIST INCOMING!
I'm a Canadian, so I go by the same spelling.
Hmm, now who could that be.
This is gonna end well... Trixie getting caught by who might be Applejack, a random cowboy, or the antagonist. Either way, I can't think of anything that won't end in some sort of conflict.
I have to say I really like what I'v seen so far. The premise the fact that their human in this version which I'v never really seen done right till now and how you write very descriptive in terms of how the character's are feeling. So looking forward to more and my guess at the end is that it's the CMC.
Ka-pow! Have a spotlight!
2884359
I can't believe you'd select a tiny little story like this for a feature!
Oh wow, thank you so much!!
2886086 I rate stories based on the level of potential or detail. If I find that the universe that this story is set in has a decent amount of thought behind it, I let it have a chance at light.
After all, masterpieces such as this deserve a spotlight.
Fiiiiiiiiiiiiir- <PAWNCH>
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Yay Zecora!
Freaking Everfree!
Damn you scary! 
<3 Must read right away!
So, is Applejack and Big Mac killing horses or something?
OH NOES!
Okay, I was NOT expecting this turn of drama. Damn, you've got my heart racing and everything! This story doesn't strike me as 'dark' or a tragedy, so Trixie will likely get out of this, but all the same its got me on edge. Hopefully Trixie can escape without further damage to her body or horn; I can't imagine its safe to use magic with it if its been damage.
... ah. Foreshadowing in Chapter 5 for 'magical outbursts when panicked.' Things are going to get messy, huh? Damn, this Slick bastard should get some sort of comeuppance for lighting the flames to this rising hellfire.
2995190
) And hope I keep it up for you 
.
Wow, those are very kind words, I'm glad I'm entertaining! (If that's what you were implying
Fffffffffantastic story you ave here, I saw this spring up on Devart and immediately loved it... Write on you incredible bastard.
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3005415
Because you fecking told him too!
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I guess it was too much to expect AJ to shoot her own brother in the head... oh well.
Okay, pardon my bluntness but what the Hell?
I mean, I understand farmers putting down a few horses. Old or lame horses are dead weight and have to go, but this story makes it out to be that they're shooting perfectly healthy horses for no reason. I expected the few horses they put down the last time we saw them would've been done so for a decent reason (being old or lame), but it's as if they're slaughtering them for food. And while I'm not an expert in the meat making process, if that's the case, I'm pretty sure that it doesn't work this way.
Feel free to prove me wrong if it does, but I would think that it would happen a bit closer to the packaging plant to make sure the meat remained fresh.
And even if they are slaughtering horses for meat, it seems like ll the other subjects were just regular horses while Trixie is obviously different. Not just in the sense that she's sapient (which they can't tell), but in the sense that she's... well... a friggin' unicorn.
It was already established that unicorns are sold as pets to witches and wizards in this universe. Wouldn't they make more money trying to sell her as a pet to somebody in Canterlot than trying to sell it as just another lump of meat?
Honestly, there's dark, and then there's needlessly, cartoonishly dark. The story has gotten so dark and grim at this point without any need to do so that it's circled around and become ridiculous.
3005708
At least here in England, I've been to a few farms where they have large barn-like slaughterhouses which have several lanes, as described in the fic. The cattle are filed through each lane to the end, held in a cradle, and bolted before being roped away (the cradle is to hold them steady and prevent the weight of their dead bodies breaking the cages as they fall to the ground). The carcasses are bled and drained in the wash rooms nearby, then hung in cold storage. Then usually a third party delivery company uses what some of the farmers I've spoken to refer to as "Fridge Van", which are cold storage vehicles, to transport, in perfectly serviceable condition, the meat to butchers, catering companies, etc. that are miles away.
So really I've drawn on my own personal farming experiences and knowledge for this.
I'm sorry that I didn't make it obvious (And that's not supposed to be an insult to you, sorry!
) but Macintosh implies in Chapter 4 that Unicorns are more sought after because their meat tastes much much better, and the descriptions of how hard they are to deal with adds to their desirability. That's really why Trixie endures what she does, because as mentioned, it's their first venture into the horse meat business, and Macintosh is concerned about making enough money to keep it going. ->Edit> I almost nearly forgot to mention that Chapter 4 gives a reason as to why in the world someone in this AU world would decide to set up a horse meat farm, though even IRL horse meat is quite expensive and rare.
AJ isn't exactly heartless when it comes to having to slaughter her either, very reluctant indeed. And when you have an animal going berserk on a farm like Trixie was, the first reaction is shoot it before it can cause damage or hurt someone.
The unicorn pet part was, as described in the fic, a very minor, with only a few witches and wizards daring to try and tame unicorns /because/ of their danger.
I don't know how to respond to your statement on the dark and grim, because really... it's a dark story, I don't know how to fix it being "too dark and grim"
since that's kinda the point . All I feel like I can do to that is apologise for failing you as a writer 
.
3006047
Alright, well... if I'm wrong about the meat packaging process, then I guess I'm wrong about the meat process. Sorry, I didn't know you had experience farming.
I also had no idea that the meat was killed so far away from its eventual destination. That's really discomforting actually... that meat would be killed so far away from the packaging plant. Who knows what could happen to it in the interim?
I may have to switch to a vegetarian lifestyle knowing that because that's disgusting. They kill meat and then just let it sit around for who knows how long before it's properly cleaned and packaged?! That's just disgusting and unsanitary. Who knows how many bacteria and parasites and insects get into it. If that's the way it is in the US as it is in the UK I may just have to go vegetarian.
Anyway... I dunno. I must have missed those hints being dropped back in Chapter 4. I caught the pet part but I didn't catch the horse meat/unicorn meat part at all. To be honest, though, I still question the notion that they would go into the horse meat farming business. They are apple (and presumably some other produce) farmers after all. Seems a bit odd they'd suddenly switch to meat, let alone horse meat... Especially since they've always been portrayed as being of southern USA-style origins. Believe me, as somebody who hails from that region... eating horse meat is very much looked down upon there. Heck, eating horses in the USA was even ILLEGAL until only a few years ago if I'm not mistaken.
Granted, I know they don't actually live in the USA, but still... they've always been portrayed in a South USA style manner so... I dunno, it just feels really awkward.
Anyway, as for being ridiculously dark... I dunno. I guess in the end I'm just confused as to why you chose to go in the direction you did with this. Trixie turns into a unicorn in a human AU. This is the sort of story that is usually a comedy or something, or at least feels a touch more lighthearted than it ended up being. Instead, the VERY FIRST THING that happens in this story is Trixie is traumatized by her transformation... then she's kidnapped by a thug the MOMENT she steps outside... a thug who then continues to beat her and break her newly acquired horn... then she's sold to AJ who should be a decent companion in such a time, only it turns out she has JUST HAPPENED to have recently started up a business in HORSE MEAT of all things, and is going to shoot her and sell her delicious flesh... and the moment it looks like she might be able to make a break for it, she ends up falling and presumably lamed... and then Twilight gets shot (possibly dead) and who knows where the bullet ended up going (the exit would might have caused the bullet to go straight through into Trixie anyway).
I dunno, man. There's being cruel to characters to challenge them to overcome obstacles... and there's writing a bad comic book where everybody dies or gets needlessly traumatized for the sake of invoking "drama." There's a point where the reader just detaches himself from it all because it gets to be too much. It's called "darkness induced audience apathy," and it's not usually a good thing to invoke in readers.
I would probably be a lot more on board with this sort of thing you're doing if it were happening at the climax of a much longer story; a story that had been broken up with more lighthearted antics for a while to balance out all the dark stuff and showed the characters in other lights and environments. As is, though... it's almost too dark for me to care anymore.
It's your story of course. You do what you like. This is just my take on it.
3006353
The meat is kept in cold storage at all times, even in the farms, which preserves it near-perfectly, I wouldn't worry about your meat.
And well, the only thing I feel I can respond with is that this story is sticking to the tags it has. It's a Dark story, not a Grimdark story, everything has happened for a reason (including Trixie tripping and falling at that last moment), and nothing has yet been said about what happened to Twilight or Trixie after the end of the latest chapter. As I saw, cliffhangers in my other works had people discussing and questioning possibilities, not jumping to conclusions and refusing to read on. The tags are as suitable as they look for what has happened, and what is yet to come.
Also, AJ /was/ being a decent companion, for the time Trixie and AJ were together, AJ was consistently trying to convince Big Mac not to kill Trixie.
You may say that I can do what I like with this story, but now I feel like I've spoiled it all. This isn't me unable to take criticism, it's very helpful, but this is me upset that I ruined it for you, and possibly many others :c .
3006353
The meat thing is also, again, explained in Chapter 4 I believe that it is very lucrative in this Equestria, possibly even the most worth farming.
3006355
Okay. When I say "cartoonishly dark" what I basically mean is "Darkness Induced Audience Apathy"
(Warning. Link to TvTropes)
If you read the trope, it should basically explain what I mean.
Basically, what's going on is that It's gotten so dark, so fast, and in such a way that I'm having trouble keeping myself invested in it because the situation is so bleak that it looks pretty much hopeless. Every time you show a glimmer of hope, you've yanked it away in some manner. It's gotten so angsty and bleak that it's hard to remain invested. The fifth paragraph in the trope is very telling of the trap that your story is beginning to fall into. If, say, Trixie had gotten away in this chapter, or AJ and Big Mac had relented, then there would be less in the way of DIAA going on, but instead, Trixie fell (and may have lamed herself) and Twilight ended up shot (possibly dead).
I don't know about you, but to me it's starting to look like the situation is just so bleak, it's teetering on the line of "caring" and "apathy"
I suppose more than anything, the next chapter is going to be incredibly crucial. See, you can reverse this trend at any time. All you have to do is give the characters a glimmer of hope to work towards, no matter how difficult it may be to reach, and not yank it away the way you have been.
Ultimately, the point is this: If there's absolutely no hope, no chance that things may get better in a story... there's no point in reading the story. Every time you've presented a chance for hope... a chance that things might get better, you've yanked that chance away in the same chapter you've presented it.
Twilight can help Trixie? NOPE! Trixie is kidnapped by a thug.
Thug sells Trixie to AJ who may be able to help her? NOPE! AJ's running a horse meat business.
Trixie might be made into a pet instead of meat? NOPE! Unicorn meat is prized.
AJ might let Trixie go? NOPE! Big Mac talks her out of it.
Trixie might get away? NOPE! She falls.
Twilight might save Trixie? NOPE! Twi gets shot.
Just give the characters a glimmer of hope and keep it in place. Then the audience has reason to care. But if you keep toying with the audience like this and make the situation out to be completely and interminably bleak, then the audience won't care because there's no reason to. It's pointless to try and see it through because it's just going to keep toying with your emotions and it probably won't turn out any good anyway.
In the end, just give the characters a glimmer of hope and keep it there. That's all you need to do. But the next chapter will be crucial in this sense depending upon what you choose to do.
Anyway, that's my take.
3006427
Oh I see now, and you're completely right, I might add.
Are you going to keep reading? Because Chapter 7 is entirely crucial to this whole thing. I thought Twilight appearing would at least keen people up on that x.x .
3006434
I haven't unfaved the story yet, have I?
I'm going to keep reading for another chapter or two to see if the trend changes at all. Like I've said, I'm "teetering on the edge" of Darkness Induced Audience Apathy and the next chapter will be really crucial to whether I cross over to DIAA fully or not.
It all depends on what happens in the next couple of chapters.
3006473
, well thank you! 
I promise my best to not fail you!
Ahh
3006476
I see what you did there in the end.
Well, not knowing what will happen, I'm going to WMG that witch powers can stop a bullet - or in this case, a lot of metal balls.
Are we clear on why they want ponies dead yet?
3456713
Lucrative business opportunity in Canterlot
This went about as well as I expected... Damn hard erecting a shield when you're distraught and in a hurry.
3456713
Om nom nom nom.
I had to re-read this entire chapter because I thought they were ponies the whole time. FML
3456713
>> It's people! PEOPLE
Maybe AJ works at a glue factory?
More chapters please this is great
3459698 how would you know
In reality a horse with a broken leg is something like a human with a broken liver. There's just no saving them if they can't walk because they need that weight on their feet to live. I don't remember the details, but it's pretty painful and gruesome according to a commenter in one of those Dash is a Horse stories. Of course, in reality it's difficult to make money from shooting all your horses in the head. You do that for cows, not horses. Horses are way too much effort to raise to mass produce and cull them. Then there's the whole unicorn thing. And witches.
I guess what I'm saying is updaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaate.
Trixie's been in tremendous strife for like a year now!
im afraid...so afraid, for Trixie.