The Pain Inside

i love mlp798 stories ·67 members

Three years and Vinyl Scratch still feels the pain. Wanting to make it better, she would do anything to get back her Tavi. Even if she has to give up dubstep

Chapters (4)

The pain inside · 14th Jul 2013 · 1,114 words
1,114
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Sour feelings · 14th Jul 2013 · 572 words
572
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Six days and three near drinking sessions later · 16th Jul 2013 · 983 words
983
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Three days later · 16th Jul 2013 · 423 words
423
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Comments ( 14 )

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Gentle Spy

Gentle Spy #1 · Jul 25th, 2013 · · · The pain inside ·

I shall be the deciding factor on whether or not you go positive or negative.

Gentle Spy

Gentle Spy #2 · Jul 25th, 2013 · · · Sour feelings ·

Good story! Little short though, still a like however!

xanderman1201

xanderman1201 #3 · Jul 25th, 2013 · · · Three days later ·

Well...that was...okay.
It was too darn fast to be good, but the plot and ideas were too good to be bad. I'll like it, but I don't think I'm gonna fav.

reaperdarkblade

reaperdarkblade #4 · Aug 25th, 2013 · · · Three days later ·

Short n sweet but I like longer stories but this is good can't....... handle it! *head explodes*

Vinyl_Scratch-14

Vinyl_Scratch-14 #5 · Sep 18th, 2013 · · · Three days later ·

her heand ran down Tacos thigh lol. i liked it u got my fave and like

TheGreatEater

TheGreatEater #6 · Sep 24th, 2013 · · · The pain inside ·

"I can't take staying up night after night hoping you make it home safely, sitting her alone while you tour, and take care of your sorry ass while you are drunk off your hooves and higher than the sky!"

here

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Decent set up. The memories could be italicized or seperated with a page break to show that it's not current. But other than that it's good .

TheGreatEater

TheGreatEater #7 · Sep 24th, 2013 · · · Six days and three near drinking sessions later ·

"It has been six years since I did this, but I'm switching from dubstep for a song a switching to something more smooth." She waited for this shock to die down before continuing. "Ladies and gentlponies, enjoy."

You can get rid of the "a switching", since you already state that you're switching from something to something else.

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The time jumps happen a little quickly, and some parts feel like they could be expanded upon, but all in all there's nothing bad with them. Just that they flow to quickly without telling how long things have progressed until much later on in a chapter.

TheGreatEater