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An unlikely changeling gos against his queen and finds himself at odds with the rest of his race. Banished and alone he'll have to find food and civilization to survive, not to mention love.
AN: Appropriate tags will be added as story progresses. On hiatus due to lack of inspiration.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Awesome, you have my attention....
interesting i hope you make another
Looks interesting, I'll read it later. Though, just looking at the description, you may need a pre-reader, but that's just a first glance
Mmm interesting , please do continue , you have caught my eye
I don´t have an opinion yet, but i´ll definetly watch his story
At first you had my curiosity but now you have my attention.
Keep up the good work.
Interesting, okay I'm going to start off saying that you probably do need a proofreader. There are a few grammar mistakes in there that they would most likely spot. If you don't want one then you may want to reread it a couple of times to check for those kinds of things. Second, the dialogue sounds a bit robotic. I don't know if you had much emotion to work with in this chapter, but in future chapters you should watch out for that. Third, maybe you should have made this chapter a bit longer. You didn't stop at the best spot either, so you may need to add a bit more to this.
Other than this, I guess you did well. The part regarding him being the one to tip Celestia off was creative, good job there. You have potential in this story, so I do hope that it only gets better from here. Thank you for your time
One and a half week is okay. There are much worse updated stories out there
dont worry i have been trying to type up my 5th chapter for my fanfic on DA for about two weeks now
Loving the story, luckily I forget about it and find it updated.
I like the story, but there is one thing bothering me. Fluttershy? again?
s are all used already
Its just that almost every single Changeling story uses Fluttershy in that or a similar context. my
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The reason I chose Fluttershy was for the fact that she would be most understanding and sympathetic to Morpheus' predicament. That and I find Fluttershy's quiet shy demeanor the perfect complement to Morpheus' personality.
I think of it like this; Rarity is best suited for Spike, Twilight is too untrusting of changelings because of Chrysalis, Rainbow Dash and Applejack make the best secret couple, and Pinkie Pie is far to random for me to get my head around and make a decent attempt of a romance story out of.
Besides if I made a romance story of Pinkie Pie, I just could because to her the forth wall doesn't exist.
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the thing is just that almost everyone choses Flutters and i usually get bored around the 3rd chapter.
will see
farm6.staticflickr.com/5147/5849188876_d49d0b5767_z.jpg
I love this story.
3174264 He can but only Fluttershy can understand him.
Hey there. Umm... decent story, although certain punctuations should be placed where you did not place... yeah minor errors w/e. The point of this comment is that: I wanted to check if you handled changelings correctly post-s3, ESP with mane 6 as the cast AND Flutters as the protagonist.
^ This. This is what made or break for me. I was just looking for this. How the mane 6 reacted to a GODDAMIT CHANGELING
*breathes in, then out* POST-S3... AND ALL THEY DID WAS "NOT RECOGNIZE [HIM] AND WERE GIVING HIM MIXED LOOKS?" EHAEAEHAEFAEGFAEDAEFED
-reads chapter 4-
Ok, so RD accuses him. Okay... AJ trusts him... go on... his feeding off Flutter's love.... *sigh* ... there was no love to begin feeding with... WHY IS THERE LOVE?! WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY.
Informant for Princess Trollestia. Okay, not a bad premise. I like it. Chrysalis OFFERING HIM AN OPTION TO LIVE OR DIE, and on top of that, he's 'special' to Chrysalis?... Yeah, I have a feeling you're saying that just to 'banish' him from the hive so he may unceremoniously 'wake up' in the Evergreen forest (Steve was coolio) so he may 'stumble upon' a chance to defend Fluttershy so he can 'feed off' his love... you see where I'm going with this?
No offence, but this is getting as predictable as hell. Bahhh D:
This story is given 3/10 for plot. And don't even get me started on other stuff like:
What. Chryo's the third royal sibling ad Cadance's dad? What, Flutters x Chyro? Goddamit man :/ (Well, OC x mane 6 has been a pet peeve of mine, ESPECIALLY WHEN SOMEONE HINTS IT RIGHT AT THE GODDAMIT START D:)
Overall, it's like... 2.5/10. I feel like you can go slower. Describe just a little more maybe.
3205685
What. Chryo's the third royal sibling ad Cadance's dad? What, Flutters x Chyro? Goddamit man :/ (Well, OC x mane 6 has been a pet peeve of mine, ESPECIALLY WHEN SOMEONE HINTS IT RIGHT AT THE GODDAMIT START D:)
Please explain.