• Member Since 25th Jul, 2013
  • offline last seen Dec 8th, 2014

ImDaBronyBomb

Im just your average brony who just so happens to be a writer and quite creative

ImDaBronyBomb Joined 25th Jul, 2013 · Offline

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Big Mac ends up in a unfamiliar resturant with a certain item that catches his eye... .
Chapters (1)
Complete Published: Aug 15th, 2013 Download
1,000 words
Comments ( 10 )
Yoshiaki
Yoshiaki #1 · Aug 15th, 2013 · · ·
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... Hmm.

Not to rain on your parade, but it seems kind of... Meh. Like, the premise is good, and the story isn't bad, but... There's just a whole lot of room for comedy. This is a common thing that writers run into when they realize that writing comedy can be (in my opinion) possibly one of the harder things to write.
So, my advice? Try and just be silly with it. Don't worry too much about it making sense, or if the characters are too unrealistic, because it's a comedy story; it's not supposed to be serious nor taken seriously. Just relax, and let it flow; no need to overthink it.

So, that's my review. The story is fine, but it has tons of room for improvement. :pinkiesmile:

ImDaBronyBomb
ImDaBronyBomb #4 · Aug 15th, 2013 · · ·
Reply

3049846
Thank you for the feedback!
The reason it might be a little less funny than it should be is that I had to add a lot more
to the story than I wanted to because of the 1,000 words rule, but I'm not saying that there's
nothing wrong with it. It indeed has lots of room for improvement, it kinda was like a test run :twilightsmile: .
Anyways I did have the intention on making it more comedic, but you know, a story is a story right?

fortheloveofchaos
fortheloveofchaos #10 · Sep 6th, 2013 · · ·
Reply

I love :eeyup: so this story was made 20% cooler just by having him there, I had thought about the concept of AJ or Big Mac trying meat before, and this is actually one of the better ones I've seen so foar :pinkiehappy:
great job

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