Sunset Shimmer returns to Equestria now that she's finally graduated high school & college. She asks for forgiveness from the ones she wronged on the night she stole Twilight's crown. The only ones to accept were Twilight, Shining Armor, Spike, and maybe a little of Fluttershy. Before any of the others could ever hope to trust her after that mishap, Celestia & Luna decide to put her on parole and as a twist of events, her parole officer is Spike! I'm doing this, hoping it will encourage you to make more of this shipping.
Chapters (5)
I might make a story on this pair as well.
3106815 Go for it.
A tip:
For thoughts: use single quotes.
'I think, therefor I am.'
"But now I am speaking aloud"
SON?!!?!?!?!?
I like Spike Ships that leave you going AWWWW... most of the time your stuck with a half Assed Sparity fic. dont get me wrong I love a good sparity but no one makes a good one.
That could of been so much better, if you only gave it a chance. Like you need to add more to it, right now it's only the skeleton of a good story.
It feels like your rushing it. Give more emotion more feel for the area don't be afraid to go on small tangents to explain things like spike and celestial or why the sudden change in sunset.
Okay this chapter is the definition of rushing. You need to slow down the pace. Also why is she asking these questions a week after. Most ppl would ask the next day not a week later. You need to slow down or u lose the reader in the rush.
OMG!!!!!!! Just no no no no. This breaks all writing rules. One how does a wingless dragon fly. Two when did he become the only male in ponyville. You make it seem like all girls in the town are mad in love with him. Three you barely touch the date. You give no sense of romance at all. Four you just speed up emotions that take weeks or months or years to cultivate in a little more than a week. If your going to write a story plz keep all that I have said in mind. Not being mean but this is a poorly write story. It can be made better. Right now its a skeleton you just need to add some things to it.
I come here expecting a good read about Sunset Shimmer and Spike falling in love.
Then I notice that none of the Chapters are more than 1000 words long, and most of the comments are complaints about pacing. I can completely understand why with a word count like that.
Just because something works for "Know Your Mare", doesn't mean it will work here, no matter how good the plot is, or how original the shipping. Please, consider longer chapters in future works, and maybe a remake of this.
Overall it is a nice quick story and since it has Spike I can't complain.
I also hope that more of this pairing comes up.
Okay, I like the idea, I really do. I just think the chapters need to be longer and stop ending with 'End of Chapter'. Also stop rushing things, it makes the story worse and the readers confused.
love it
momlestia
also DERPY APPROVES 
3108139 It's a habit.
Please, please, please go back and check for "Your" (belongs to you) and "You're (you are) homophone confusion. Also, italics are the preferred way to show thoughts. The parenthesis make their thoughts look like asides, which you don't want.
You have such a unique premise here... don't let it go to waste!
lunas a priest?
it feels rushed and only prob is Spiek was a dog why the hell did they turn the apex of evoshen the king of kings the mightiest cresher in legends not matter what the univers into a dog other wise this ch was ok
I deem this fic, a troll fic!
Awesome story. liked the fact that Spike could have been a pimp.
The story and idea were good but the story just feels like it was rushed. There is no desciption of how something and places looks, it skips times were fillers could be put in to develop the plot line of the story, and it just shows sunsets shimmer's thoughts and feelings when you could have parts fo the story focused on what spike does ,feels, and thinks within the time of the story is progressing. I am not trying to be rude I am just telling you points if you ever want to try again in the future on another story.
3107005 Sorry, but singles & doubles are too confusing.
Most amusing, that. A most excellent fic.
I love this its fast its funny and it finally reveald rarity as the heartless mare she is for stringing spike along
...needs more story to it, in my opinion.
Just red the entire story and you know what I loved the most...... MOMLESTIA!!!!!!
I'm sorry but i will be open about everything I am about to say.
I dislike this fic. i enjoy the pairing. This fic could have been so much more, it could have had better pacing, more character developement and more romance. I made it to the middle and wanted to exit the fandom right then and there. Chapter's need to be at least a 1000 words or more, and over all, it seems like you didn't put any effort into this.
You could have spent a little more time explaining how things had gone after equestria girls, what happened with Sunset shimmer? what was college like? what led to Celestia seeing spike as a son? and why do all the mare's in town love spike? You left a lot unexplained and I think that threw off the fic quite a lot.
I hope you don't mind, but with your permission, I would like to do a rewrite of this and see where it goes. I'm sure a lot of the readers on here would agree with me and I hope they will want to read the rewrite.
all in all, this fic gets a 2/10 from me and a dislike. Sorry but I'm being as honest as Applejack and I don't believe in lying to make others feel better about such a huge lack of effort.
Thank you for your time.
so many face palms were done this day just cause of this you sir and or madam have earned my respect
It's sir.
it was rushed and really short
Found a typo,
You're missing an "r" in "Equestria", including the Author's Note.
So. Many. Puns. Many weren't funny.
By the second sentence, I already see I should enjoy it like 'Spiderses'.
I see it seems to be your style
I loved the ripping on Rarity scene!
Do you not like Rarity? Second fic you make Rarity the butt of a joke like that.
Its alright if you don't, we all have a disliked/hated pony.
3108313
[youtube=ir-y6-L6Vlk]
Luna: Do you want to see the moon rise?.....
hahahahahahah amazing
Goddamn this is hard to get by. I feel like there's no passion put into this story. You keep rushing things and the way the characters are portrayed are nowhere near their real selves.
Is this a troll fic? Because if it's not it's a really bad put together rushed fic. Try to relax with the flow and describe the characters properly.
Celestia going to keep Spike safe by allowing him to parole Sunset, who could easily toss him out of a window she wanted to........ The logic of the princess is truely unrivaled
3107126
NANI?!?!?!