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When Twilight and Spike meet the sad and real Pinkie Pie at the table outside, Spike makes a test based on his memories of 'Party of One'. Pinkie Pie passes the test at that time, and this results a completely different outcome for the whole story.
In this version, there will be no Pinkie clone genocide.
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CANNOT CONTAIN RAGE!!! This should've happened!
The episode was bugging me for days. I felt that what Twilight did was murder, even if the others were just memory-less clones of the real Pinkie Pie. I felt that I have to write this down, to give a morally proper ending to the episode. So I did.
edit: If you decide to downvote my story, I respect your opinion. The only thing I ask is please, send me a message in private about what you didn't like in my story. I am still a beginner writer and I need to know my mistakes to improve.
No Pinkie clone genocide?
stream1.gifsoup.com/view/126331/m-bison-yes-o.gif
I always just thought they were damaged actually, copies made from a copy often are.
Still, this was nice.
its marked incomplete
i hope that wasnt a mistae
3305317
Oh shoot, thanks for telling. I forgot to set it to complete.
3305319
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
This is beautiful...
i give this fic an ten out of ten!
It was...nice but it didn´t stirr up many feelings from me. A nice approach instead of playing russian roulette combined with a pinkie genocide.
PLEASE use contractions. the story idea is good, but I hear robots talking instead of the characters.
Another way they could have ended this episode is by having all of the Pinkie clones turn out to be sentient, and the way they were banished be that they were sent packing to different cities all across Equestria. That's how I'd have ended it, at least.
To some extent this is what should've happened. At the least they needed to confirm that the real Pinkie Pie didn't get sent back. But then that's Dave Polsky for you, even at his best he seems to have trouble keeping everyone in character for an entire episode.
3306858 I agree with you, but level of professionalism isn't reflective of the wisdom of a writer's choices. There are many "professional" writers easily beaten out by the amateurs of this site.
It was a nice story, but I don't know about this one. I was terrified of what they did in that episode, but I doubt that the clones would have been so easy to change. A short conversation and they all are convinced of this? The clones all had ADD. How could they pay attention to a conversation that doesn't involve them specifically? I just think that it is a stretch. However, this seemed in a similar vein to the show, save the moral quandary of killing, as the feelings and thoughts seemed in character to me.
This is one of the 2 episodes that I care the least about. I mean destroying the clones with the chance of getting the real one? That's horrible. The other is the Mare-do-well because they are passive aggressive to dash instead of being forthright. I mean what is up with that? Not really a great friendship lesson.
3305949
Thank you. I Modified it at least
203050 places where I felt it's appropriate to use contractions.(This happens when someone like me is not a native english speaker
)
edit: The places I'm still not using contractions are intentional. I want the characters to emphasize the auxiliary verb.
3306858
"The Pinkie clones were non-sentient constructs that were basically MADE of magical energy,"
"genocide is the destruction of a race or culture"
You just defined the Pinkies as a unique race. Therefore, destroying them is genocide.
It doesn't matter for me if a sentient creature is born naturally or created by or even made of magic since I've read Past Sins.
My interpretation is that the Pinkie Pie clones were created by magic (and with that, they make a unique sub-race of earth ponies), but because the first clone could eat, cry, worry, talk and most importantly: go against her primary instinct of having fun (instead of being a mindless clone, running around shouting 'fun', she went back to Pinkie Pie and asked for her help). This it means for me that they had real body that could digest and were sentient, just didn't have enough life experience. A newborn mostly acts based on her primary instincts. If she is hungry, she cries. If you feed her, she stop crying. If she is tired, she sleeps. Still, nobody would say that a newborn is not sentient.
"I'm a better writer than the professional writer"
That is the last thing I would say. However, even the most professional writers make mistakes. What I simply did, is I took two of them, and changed them. Anybody can do that in their mind, I just wrote it down. At the same time, I am sure I made ten times more mistakes in my story, because as you said, I am not a professional writer.
3307853
"A short conversation and they all are convinced of this? The clones all had ADD"
I would say that they all listened at the end, because the thing they most wanted was 'fun', and what they saw on the stage was better than fun. I would never say they all listened quietly from the beginning to the end, that is impossible for a Pinkie Clone
(Or not? They could watch paint dry for a really long time.). I would say that it was slowly taking their attention and when Fluttershy declared Pinkie Hug as friend, they all reached listening state.
3307052
But...But... That's my story
I made some heavy modifications to the story, because I felt that at some places it was too rushed. And also fixed the "no contractions" problem.
nyehehe
Spike's test wouldn't work - or it couldn't be counted on to work.
Why not just a quiz of specific memories? They know the pool didn't carry those over. It'd be a whole lot less damaging.
3308424
"Spike's test wouldn't work - or it couldn't be counted on to work."
I think you are wrong, because what they did is actually making the depth of Pinkie Pie's heart visible, that how much their friends meant for her
. But of course, it's a matter of opinion and I respect yours.
"They know the pool didn't carry those over. "
We know it, because we saw the real Pinkie Pie teaching the clones. They didn't know.
Why wasn't this the actual ending? It's way better.
3305949
Was the Sweetie Bot joke intentional?
3309447
The clones called them by the wrong names at first. And of course if they'd just tried it, they would have discovered it to be highly effective.
As for being reliable, they couldn't know Pinkie's reaction to that particular comment. She could bounce back with a 'No you won't. Stop being silly.'
3313490
Really. You are right, When the first clone communicated with Fluttershy, she called Applejack as 'Applejohn'. Well... if Fluttershy takes this mistake into consideration, deducts the consequences and builds up courage when Twilight asks "Does anypony here know how we can tell the real Pinkie Pie from all the rest of them?" to tell Twilight this, then it could result a completely different outcome. I stick to my version, because I think it is more probable, and the other version might result the death of some clones. But still, good idea!
And this also means that Pinkie Pie shouldn't ask for "Applejohn" in the quiz, as the clone called her as "Applesauce", when they were talking to each other.
I'm gonna fix it now.
Interesting idea. it has less contractions than I'd expect from the canon characters but your canon is totally accurate. well done.
3313510
Does the contraction problem still exists? I already read through multiple times and fixed it like more than 50 places. Could you give me some examples, please?
Sometimes I want the characters to emphasize the "is", "are", etc... verbs, and I chosen not to use contractions.
yeah. I do the same in my stories honestly. Examples... let's see. lemme open up in new window to answer as I read...
Hmm... it's mostly the narrator so nevermind the canon comment. if it's you then that's you.
'what if she is acting?' no real inflection there. Yeah, it's not the contractions.
Maybe it's the word choice, or the length of their speech. it's really close but feels a little off but it's an unconscious feeling.
Honestly, it could just be that I put too much attention to your comment that you fixed the contractions that i suddenly noticed each time you skipped one. if there's any subtler stuff (does Spike say must? is he a 'gonna' using guy? -for example) i can't put my finger on it and we're both better off not obsessing over it.
3313583
Thanks. Yeah, sometimes I felt too that some lines are harder to imagine in the voice of the character. I thought it's because I watched the episodes a long time ago (waiting for season 4). Maybe I should rewatch a few episodes or I don't know.
Oh and the reason I really really want everything to be perfect is because I submitted the story on EQD. And as I heard, they can be really picky.
edit: I rewatched Dragonshy and reread my novel again. I found a few lines to improve. Now I can hear all the characters in my head
(or is this bad? 
)
it was a fun read I like the dark fic that was made after this episode 2 by some other person(cant member there name I think it was called (Just a puddle) or something along that line any way like how you handle the story better then the one on tv did
3311648 Haha, nope. I see what you mean though.
awesome story
3305190 3305188 I See What You Mean, I Mean Those Pinkie Clones were like Newborns and Twilight JUST OUTRIGHT MURDER THEM!!!
(It Makes Twilight Not a Murder now. 
) *Tears up and hugs Servant Phoenix & Bookworm Guardian* But I Wish this story became this ending of Too Many Pinkie Pies. That Ending Should've Happened!! 
Thank You for Changing the Ending.
BTW, Your Ending Gave me a Heart-Warming Ending.
Your Story is Awesome!!! 
3333556
I'm glad you liked it.
*hugs you back
3335811 Thank you.
this is a great alternate ending i loved it!!
Eh, certainly a better ending than on the show!
A Pinkie Pie in every town.
They should make a business selling Pinkies to the world.
3654725
Have your own Pinkie! Creates parties, makes you smile every day, and occasionally destroys the multiuniverse by breaking the walls between the dimensions.
Price: Lots of love
3654725
A great solution! now everyone everywhere could spread happiness and laughter in not only in Ponyville (and maybe all the way to canterlot) but to all of equestrian!
"OH OH! AND I WANNA BE CALLED PINKIE STRAND!"
All of the other clones looked at the one that had spoken up. "Why?" one of them asked.
The original shrugged. "I dunno, just got this feeling it might have been cool!"
Seriously though, this ending was bloody awesome. HASBRO! Y U NO THINK OF MORAL CONSEQUENCES!
Also, great work on the story! It was really well written, and I loved it!
3979480
I'm seriously torn now between calling the first clone Strand or Pinkie Hug. You are messing with my headcanon!
Anyways, I'm really happy that you loved my version.
Long live the Pinkie clones! 
This story brought a smile to my face.
:Mine too.
:And mine.
:Don't forget mine.
:I want to smile too.
: Hey look, I'm smiling.
: I like smiling.
: Smiling makes me fell nice inside.
: Smiling is magic.
3992293
Good story. I have always felt rather... uncomfortable with how the Pinkie situation was handled in Too Many Pinkie Pies.
This is definitely a better conclusion. I'm surprised the real one wasn't done this way in hindsight.
4006392
Same here. They should TOTALLY make this canon.