A Letter from Cousin Clanky
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english version
Dear Ditzy and Dinky,
Hi girls, it's cousin Clanky again. I thought I'd send you a quick letter back to thank you again for the great care package! The muffins were delicious and me and my new friends really enjoyed them. A new mare and stallion joined the squadron last month so they're super new like me! Captain Cloud Dancer and Master Sergeant Ironheart are as mean to them as they are to me which isn't so good. Their officers so technically we're not supposed to hang out or be friends, but old Rustheart apparently said something to the Major about the three of us being "cut from the same cloth" and "the same kind of idiot" so the Major ordered us billeted together which means we share a living quarters, Zephyr the mare and I get a seperate room because of some segregation rule but the stallion, Flare is close by still. The Major also says that it's ok for us to spend time together off duty. It makes sense because we sure do work together alot on duty!
Albeit alot of that work is peeling potatoes and cleaning but Rustheart made me the lead mechanic for their wing pair, so I get to work on Flare and Zeph's planes exclusively! I'm not much of a lead mechanic though... more the only mechanic. I'm the only one who does maintenance on their fighters. There's plenty of that to do, they were assigned the junkiest pair of birds I've ever seen, I've done what I could short of sending them to the depot for a full overhaul, but to be honest they need to be scrapped, not overhauled. Cap'n Cloud Dancer is still pushing them hard, on top of all the scut work they do with me their getting flown hard every day, makes for some long hours for me too, but Flare and Zeph will stay and help work on their fighters with me, even though I can tell their exhausted, till the work's finally done.
Rustheart also said with any luck the three of us working together would result in us dying in a mishap of some sort, answering his prayers and saving the unit a whole heap of trouble but I don't think he meant it. On a positive note, Flare, Zeph and I are having lots of fun during the scant liberty we manage to get. We even managed to get a weekend pass (not sure how that got past Rustheart) and went up to Canterlot last weekend!
Things have gotten a lot rougher in general since Flare and Zeph got here though, the unit is being even colder to us and the work load has at least tripled, constant midnight alerts and scramble flights, tools in my kit going missing and somehow ending up in the freezer, the fuel tanks on the strikers being mysteriously empty. The Captain is just drilling us in to the ground with work outs too, running harder, faster and longer then either of the three of us had before, strenuous flight drills (even for me!), ground fighting and lots of weapons training with the Marines too, they sure like doing ground fighting with us Cous, almost knocked my shoulder out of joint last time and we always come out so bruised it can be hard to move! We're pulling together though, the three of us made a pact to not let them or any one else beat us. We just have to keep fighting, we'll show them exactly what kind of steel we're made of.
I'll write again soon!
Lots of love,
Clanky Doo
P.S.
If Flare, Zeph and I can get another weekend pass I'll try to talk them in to coming with me to see you and Dinky! Ponyville would be a nice change of pace from the squadron that's for sure.
Habanc, Me, you.....
He's actually a fimfiction user.....
Duplicate names is not that big a deal in writing. Zephyr's name for wind, and ponied like names for common things. I'd be really surprised if in Equestria there were a while flock of Zephyrs. It's probably the Dick or Harry of ponidom. In fact having too odd name can be a negative point.
Since the striker unit seems to be a unique feature from the usual MLP-verse, you need to explain them better. I'm imagining something akin to the units from Strike Witches which is an interesting solution for an already flight capable, magic species to cope with modern air combat.
If you still need a proofreader, I'm your huckleberry.
13144
Hahah it's actually a short form of my best friend's name IRL and Zephyr here is pretty much her OC/Ponysona. I think Errant makes a good point though, that particular name would probably
13179
Think more along the lines of the ex-gear from Macross Frontier, just a big bigger and more heavily armed. I have the whole mechanics of how they work, worked out as well as a fairly technical description in my head, I'm just trying to find a place to work it in to the text.... I'm going to keep having Clanky writing letters to Ditzy and Dinky, so a full description will show up there as a response to a question from Dinky or.... Idea! I love it when a solution presents itself. Errant I did get a proofreader already for Chapters 1-3 and Chapter 3 will be live briefly, with the new edited prologues, chapters 1 and 2 going up later tonight depending on what formats I need to mess with. However I will PM you later this week and you can get your hooves on chapter 4. Thanks for the offer!
Oooh, heeey, Im in another story! Yaay!
Oh, wait...
If I get it right... I'm a mare? O_o
Okay, this is wierd...
But no worries PonyMarine!
Your story is very good!
Also, you didnt gave us a description from the characters (or I didnt found it yet....) so if you want some help to imagine 'me' look at my profile. Its blurred, but I can give you a link with a better qualified version. Oh, and I made a female version too!
And I dont think so that the name Zephyr is that common, this is the first place where I see this name, except Habanc's and Black Alicorn's stories. (I was involved by request.)
Anyway, keep up with the good work!
Zephyr
Heh, I always enjoy little bits of character development like this. I'm hooked, Mr. Marine!
Thanks to Arc the Brony for recommending this for me, this fic is pretty good so far.
I noticed some grammatical errors, which make sense though.
If it's dialogue or letters I find it better to have a grammatical or spelling mistake here or there.