There are some that would probably argue that pain is merely a point of perspective, a signal from the body to warn you and that it is merely a question of will to ignore it.
I would argue that those people are full of crap. And anyone that ever cut himself with a razor or stubbed a little toe on a hard piece of furniture would probably agree.
Fun fact number seven; don't cut yourself with a griffon-made razor. Seriously. Just don't. I'm pretty sure I hit bone at some point, though it's hard to be sure with me screaming at the top of my lungs.
"Now," Luna gave me a gaze that was a mixture of both concern and something that somehow reminded me of a scolding. "I will have to refresh the spell twice a day, but other than that the wound should be fine." She let out a small sigh. "Though I strongly advise from shaving until the area is completely healed," she cast me a small frown. "You do realize such dangerous tasks are much better handled by magic?"
Next to her, Silver Blossom frantically nodded in agreement; still a bit pale from the panic that had passed only a few minutes ago.
"I know, I know..." I carefully poked the large band-aid now adorning my face. "But I don't have magic, so I have to make do with what I can," I saw Luna open her mouth. "And I am not growing a beard."
The thing with magical healing is difficult to explain, so I'll try to boil it down to the important part: Any healing magic is only temporary. A healing spell will only hold for a short time, unless renewed regularly. This means that instead of directly healing injuries, they instead concentrate on aiding the natural healing process. It will shorten the time considerably, just don't expect any miracles.
"Well, yes," Luna gave a small sigh, "though what I meant to say is that I could simply help you with the shaving part. Magic is much more gentle concerning such delicate matters."
I briefly shuddered at the though of her handling my razor with telekinesis. Even with her being an alicorn princess, getting a shave from a stranger is not something I'd do without concern. Not in a long shot.
"Yes! You should definitely consider having us help!" Rarity had seemingly found her point to pick up the conversation. I wonder to this day what they think how I managed to handle my life without them. Admitted though, the first impressions weren't necessarily speaking in my favor. "And I still have to apologize!"
"It's really no problem," I sighed and leaned on the counter of my shop, giving her a small smile and trying to block out what cleaning still awaited me upstairs. "Things like this can happen. It was just a little accident."
"Oh, no it was certainly not!" Rarity all but wailed at me. "You seriously hurt yourself because of me! Any lower and you would have hit your throat!" I could see Silver Blossom's already pale face turn even paler at Rarity's sentence. "And I will not leave without doing something to show how deeply sorry I am for it!"
"Really, it's okay," I held up my hands and tried to sooth her. "I accept your apology. You don't have to go out of your-"
"Something so terrible cannot be settled by a simple apology!" she interrupted me with a small glare before smiling at me. "This evening, I shall cook for us. Then, you may accept my apology."
"You'll cook?" I raised an eyebrow in surprise.
"You cook?" Silver Blossom asked with an equally surprised face.
"Of course I cook!" Rarity held up her head a bit higher and her smile grew a little. "I do look after Sweetie Belle often enough, don't I?"
"I always thought you only made dresses," Silver Blossom gave her a blank look, "and stuff like that."
"Oh, don't be silly, darling. Nopony is simply limited to their talent," Rarity smiled at Silver Blossom and chuckled. "We all have our little hobbies. You should ask Applejack about her knitting once in a while. She's very good at it."
Silver Blossom gave Rarity a dumbfounded look. "Applejack knits?"
"Uhm," I tentatively interrupted them and held up a hand. "Who exactly is 'us'?"
"Well, all of us!" Rarity gave me a warm smile. "Princess Luna, Silver Blossom, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Twilight Sparkle, me..." she pointed a well-manicured hoof at me. "And of course, you." Rarity started to head around the counter towards the door leading into my kitchen. "I will start straight away! Silver Blossom, could you go tell the others we'll be having dinner here this evening?"
"Uhm..." Silver Blossom answered, still baffled, "I guess I could..."
With that and a final smile Rarity vanished into my kitchen, with me still wondering how I was going to fit all of them into my kitchen less find seats for everyone.
"Well," Luna spoke up with a small sigh. "Since that seems to be settled, I will head back upstairs and take care of..." she grimaced a bit. "Cleaning."
"Wait, shouldn't I do that?" I started to get up from behind the counter. It somehow felt strange to think that someone else would clean up in my house. Especially considering the mess that needed to be cleaned. "I really think that I-"
"Oh, no. I insist!" Luna interrupted me with a smile that could have stopped a train in its tracks. "After all, I cannot help but feel responsible for this as well. You just stay here, take care of your shop," she gave me another smile and headed upstairs, "and relax."
"But I-"
"Woodchuck," she stopped at the bottom of the stairs and gave me another smile.
"Yes?" I asked with a slight feeling of discomfort.
"Relax." Even with her smile I couldn't help but shiver. "You are far too tense," she started heading back up again. "This will work far better if you simply trust us. We are all here to help you."
"Help me..." I mumbled and sat down again with a sigh and turned to Silver Blossom who had been quiet the whole time. "Is she right? Am I too tense?"
"Uhm..." Silver Blossom stared at me with big eyes, seemingly startled at my sudden question. "I... I think I should go tell the others that we're having dinner over here... so," she flashed me a shy grin, "see you later!"
And with that, she too was gone, leaving me behind in the silence of my shop. Only the occasional sounds from upstairs or my kitchen reminded me that for the first time in three years, I was not alone. And for some reason, it made me smile.
At least until Rarity found the chicken in my freezer.
Silver Blossom hadn't been gone for long and I had just finished awkwardly calming down Rarity who, after having found out that me and Silver Blossom both apparently ate meat had been a bit... disturbed. Luckily she calmed down soon enough, and we both agreed quickly that a vegetarian dinner would be the best for this evening. So she had returned to the kitchen and occasionally I could hear her hum while Luna continued to work upstairs.
Strangely enough, now that I think of it she did spend a lot of time up there. I wonder what she was actually doing.
And once again, I digress. Shortly after Rarity had gone back into the kitchen, I got my first customers for that day: the Peg brothers.
The Peg brothers are the two sons of the local farmer Pumpkin Peg. Pumpkin Peg, as his name may incline farms pumpkins. Serious stallion. Hard worker, never lies, very devoted to tradition and upholding the family business. He seldom smiles but when he does, it comes from the heart.
Serious stallion then. His two sons though, not so much.
Basically, they're the pony version of adolescent farm boys. They love to laugh at any occasion, adore stupid jokes, whistle after the mares and there is nothing they enjoy doing more than spending money on cider. Luckily, as with all teenagers they're all talk and not much else. I sell them a few bottles, listen to their stories and jokes; but they behave. In the end, they're just boys.
I just make sure they don't spend all of their money on booze, which keeps old Pumpkin Peg happy.
"Woody!" Two Peg greeted me with a big grin. "How have you been?!"
"Ups and downs, ups and downs," I sighed while resting my head on my hand. "The usual. How about you two? Anything interesting happen?"
"You can say that again!" Three Peg grinned even wider than his brother. "You would not believe what's been going on out there!"
"Why?" I asked with a tiny smirk, as always amused by their general lack of concern for anything. "Did Cinder Pint forget to secure his barrels again?"
"Nah!" Two Peg laughed. "It's even better! Inside the village!"
"Inside the village?" I raised an eyebrow but otherwise remained unimpressed.
"Mares!" Three Peg grinned. "Out of nowhere!"
"Mares?" I frowned even though I already had a pretty good idea what was going on. "That's what got you so worked up? There's always been plenty of mares in Shoretrot."
"No! You don't get it!" Two Peg took over for his brother. "These aren't from here!"
"And they're hot!" Three Peg spoke up.
"Smoking hot!" Two Peg agreed with a huge grin.
The two probably would have continued by telling me which one of the new mares in town had the best flank or something along those lines. They probably would have done so while drinking a couple of bottles of cider as well. They probably would have. Except-
"Who's hot?" All three of us turned in surprise as no other than princess Luna herself had seemingly just come down the stairs. I swear to this day it's just unnatural how quiet she can be for someone who has hooves.
And while the two Peg brothers could only stare with open mouths and I couldn't help but smirk a little, Luna merely smiled at us with a face that beamed innocence. "I'm sorry. Did I interrupt something? What were you talking about?"
My smirk didn't last long though, because even as amusing as the situation was; my own mouth fell open when Two Peg, after staring at her open-mouthed for several seconds simply said: "You're hot."
If Pumpkin Peg ever heard of it, he'd probably laugh about it... after beating some sense into his boy, that is.
Yer a marshmallow, Luna!
4159515 I was lol from the your hot thing now I am ROFL
Awesome ending... again.
Good chapter. Although, it feels more like filler when compared to the previous chapters. Not in a bad way,mind you, but more like...well..I was coming into the chapter expecting something to happen,but nothing really did. We got the setup for the next chapter, but that's about it. It's still well written and has good dialogue though, and I look forward to seeing what happens next.
This is where the romance tag comes in, right?
Beautiful.
4159568 I know, I know... but some chapters I take the time to set up something new. Also, I can never write more than 2k words per chapter, just feels too much. ^^
Look at this from this point of view: Now I can happily work on the next chapter.
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I've been cut by razors a couple times. When the cut is clean and quick, you generally don't feel it. Might hurt after some time, but the actual cutting... not so much.
Fluttershy knits in comic book canon.
Ponyville.
We're hot!
Official town slogan.
wish it was a liiiiittle bit longer. but good chapter overall.
I think you mixed up the mares there...
4159641 oh yeah, thanks for pointing that out!
I really enjoy this story, but if there's going to be a gap between chapters then could they be a bit longer?
So short!
welp, they're screwed
That boy is gonna go far in the world...
But not after a quick ball shot to the nuts by the Princess.
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Such long waits for such short chapters.
Oh well, at least it's good stuff!
I think Luna is going to actually be rather flattered by the young boys' attention. Being told you are hot isn't exactly something people (and I assume ponies) take as offensive. As long as they don't get to vulgar I can see Luna becoming a blushing fit of excitement.
4159599
I concur. Razor blades, X-Acto blades and the like just slip through flesh, and you don't always know you've cut yourself until there's blood. Bone saws are that way, too.
Also, intake gaskets on Chrysler V6 engines.
Shouldnt that be Rarity?
Then the others show up at the shop, the brothers accuse Chuck of hoarding all the hot mares, awkwardness and hilarity ensues
Always a good laugh to be had with this story.
Fabulous work as always.
>>>Fun fact number seven; don't cut yourself with a griffon-made razor. Seriously. Just don't.>>>
I accidentally cut myself with a 250 year-old katana. It was so fast and smooth I didn't even feel it.
Fortunately, I just skimmed my finger tip a little. Any further down and I'd be missing part or all of that finger.
Those swords are as sharp as medical scalpels.
>>>The thing with magical healing is difficult to explain, so I'll try to boil it down to the important part: Any healing magic is only temporary.>>>
Hmm, they should invest in the study of magical molecular bonding, which would be similar to magical repair spells, save requiring a more intricate matrix manifold to compensate for the fluid mosaic of animal cell membranes.
*sigh* The 'Ponies are afraid of meat eaters' cliche, really? Griffons are a thing in this world, and there's no way a creature composed of at least two predatory species isn't at LEAST an omnivore. Plus, there's at least enough griffons living in Equestira itself to warrant their own team at the games, so...REALLY!?
Hmm, if he'd slashed through his neck, as Rarity suggested could have happened, he could have become a ghost and called himself Nearly Headless Woodchuck, and then haunted Gilda's home's entryway... along with other 'griffon doors'... (RIMSHOT!!)
4159946 I think it's okay when Ponies freak out over seeing dead animals. If you take it that way, along with the fact that all of them are squeamish about blood, It's not as bad... right?
While I'm sure Luna doesn't mind being called hot, those colts need to learn some manners.
Given how Woodchuck wondered about Luna staying upstairs for so long...........am I the only one thinking that Luna started messing around with his shaving cream?
*imagines Luna with a shaving cream "beard" and with another set of Woodchucks boxers on her head as she dances in front of the mirror, while outside Celestia takes a few choice pictures*
4159946
I don't think he was going with that cliche exactly, just Rarity finding a dead chicken in the fridge surprised her is all (like I would be surprised if I found a dead dog ready to be cooked in a friends fridge).
From Silver Blossom's teeth they should be able to discern that she's omnivorous, though it's hard to tell who would take that close a look at her (Twilight for sure, Colgate too, Fluttershy probably knows too). With the Griffins around the Equestrians may have dietary guidelines to help carnivores get proper nutrition if meat proves difficult to acquire, though given all the magic around I'd be surprised if there weren't atleast one plant that was bred/cultivated/??? to meet a carnivores/omnivores nutritional needs.
I hope Luna doesnt know what 'hot' means and simply replies.
"I think not. Tis rather cool in this shop." Looks over at Woodchuck. "Are you hot?"
Or something like that.
I agree with Woodchuck here, I have done both of those things and they both hurt like the dickens.
Though I have to say that anyone that has ever stepped on a lego knows that it's at least ten times worse than either stabbing yourself in the face, or breaking your foot on your furniture. Just sayin'.
4159946
Now, now, its not they are afraid of meat eaters. Far from it. I feel its the actule meat that throws them. Its like if you just met someone and then found out he/she was incectavore by the tubs of live bugs in the fridge. Or a cannibal by finding an arm in the freezer. Also let's not forget it is Rarity, she over reacted for forgetting plates at a picnic, so having a conniption fit over a long dead frozen chicken isn't that farfetched (with or without the leek).
Of course this is my personal opinion, take or leave it.
All I can image happening next is Luna asking Woodchuck if her temperature is deviating from the norm. Oh, Luna and her unfamiliarity to slang.
Will you now ship Woodchuck and Peg Leg?
Princess Luna fails to see how her body temperature is relevant to this discussion.
4159757 Dunno 'bout the bonesaws. But yes indeed, when the cut's clean and quick enough with a sharp enough blade, the nerves simply get severed before they can even report pain.
And Chrysler has like... a million v6 engines. You got the 3.3/3.8 which have a metal valley-pan type lower gasket, the 3.0L Mitsubishi engine (my LeBaron's!) which has a 3 piece intake with paper gaskets and if I recall correctly a valley pan lower gasket, the POS 2.5L (derivative of the 3.0L) which is similar but 2 piece, the 3.5/3.2/2.7L have plastic intakes with rubber gaskets, which you can sometimes resuse (but not always!), then you have the newer Pentastar engines, which I imagine are similar, but I've yet to work on them. I feel like I'm forgetting one lol
Anyway, have fun with that. Most of them aren't too hard anyway. Better than a stupid 4.0L or whatever it is Lincoln LS V8 intake. You can't actually get the upper intake gaskets from anywhere. The dealer tries to sell you the whole intake! Thank Celestia for RTV silicone
EDIT: I just remembered! The 3.7L Jeep V6!
Well... he's not wrong abut Luna.
Good, relaxed chapter to setup the next. I dislike when people try to force every chapter to be a thriller. Sometimes it's good to just breathe.
Lots of grammar issues though. It doesn't seem to have been edited as well as the rest of the story, though it could be that this is one of the few chapters I've read shortly after posting and you're still cleaning it up?
I was thinking that maybe Luna took so long cleaning because she was actually running tests on his blood? For science!
I fail to see how the Peg brothers are not ponified versions of Fred and George Weasly. I mean, just read their lines! I can just imagine one of them galloping towards the other and saying
"Hey, there're hot mares in town!" he would exclaim.
"Obviously, didn't we discuss about this last tuesday?" the other would deadpan.
"No, not these ones. They're from another town!"
The two looked at each other with grins in their faces as they said in unison. "Let's go get booze at Woodchucks!"
4160749
Now that you mention that, this chapter has become at least twice as interesting.
4160773
2x multiplier! Woooo
I'm expecting Luna to reply in some way similar to this: "Oh no, my young friend! I'm cold! Cold as the light of the Moon and the wastes of the space between stars!"
There is a reason why she can never get a date.
Smooth.
4160347
To be fair, Luna, as an alicorn princess, is the epitome of pony beauty (think in the Greek Goddess Artemis). I bet both she and Celestia have mountains or portraits, sculptures and poems from admirers from all ages. So the situation shouldn´t be anything surprising for her, despise the siblings´ boldness.
Then again, this is comedy
Imagine how Chuck´s reputation in the town is going to fare once the Peg brothers spread the news about the berotaur´s family
4160906 They're hormonal teenage idiots. (three words that mean the same thing, more or less.)
4161025 That's a pretty redundant statement when you think about it.
After a comment that foolish, I suppose somepony's gonna get...
taken down a peg or two?
4160574
I waa thinking the 3.3/3.8 with the razor blade gasket. Got my hand good on one of those...
4159599
4159757
While I'll agree that razor cuts are generally painless to begin with, I'll also point out that deep cuts hurt a lot in the long run. In all likelihood, he probably wouldn't have noticed what he did until he felt or saw the blood flowing down his face. After that, the cut would start stinging like a motherfucker.
Personally, I'd probably start playing with it. Spreading it open to see how deep it went, and generally scarring the ponies and girl for life.