Perched on a hill overlooking the town market, two former cutie mark crusaders await their last year of school and the transition into adulthood. The only trouble is that they can't really figure out what adulthood is supposed to be.
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Garbo
Joined 24th Aug, 2012 ·
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This is very good, though I have to say that teenagers seriously trying to figure out the meaning of life always has a hint of comedy to it when you've got a mortgage.
3406774
Yeah, I see how that one would feel that way. Of course I miss that kind of perspective as a teenager who doesn't pay taxes.
3406802
I do feel like you've captured it really well, though. That's why it's amusing, it's very much, "Oh, I remember those days. I wish I was as smart now as I was when I was 17."
3406818
Thanks. I tried to get a little bit of teenage overconfidence in at the beginning.
I was dumb as a post when I was that age; fortunately, I wasn't smart enough to realize that.
And I really love the "Okay, we have our cutie marks, now what?" premise; I've always thought that the awakening, as it were, would be something less than instantaneous.
3407614
Yeah, me too. There's a difference between having a talent and having a career some of the time, especially for Scootaloo. She could be a dancer, gymnast, do acrobatics, or honestly just stick with the scooter thing, because they all follow the same sort of line under her talent. In fact, half of the mane 6 could have ended up with different careers. Rarity could've been a jeweler, for example, because her cutie mark is about the jewels more than it is about the fashion. Pinkie could've been a party caterer just as well as she is as a party thrower. Applejack has been shown to sell apples as well as farm them. Rainbow Dash could've been a runner because she likes speed, and her liking tricks is more a part of her personality than her talent. Fluttershy could've worked as a vet (although we don't know how she is around blood), and Twilight could've studied any sort of magic other than friendship
...
Someone should write something like this. I know there's fics where they have completely different talents, but I'd like to see one where the talents are just slightly different. Also with them still friends. Splitting them up is a trope.
Is good
I like
3408933
Thank you
Good comment
I found your blatant lack of peaches both disturbing and disrespectful. You had a scene in a marketplace full of fruit, and you couldn't even give the peach one line of dialog!?
I do really like your story, though. There are precious few fics on this site that actually have a theme; that actually mean anything deeper than the words on the screen. You got your point across very well, and as someone who's both been at this point in adolescence and been screwed over by life in adulthood, I can relate to the ideas these characters bring forth. Good job.
3649592
Yes, but this was pre-peachyness. I had no way of knowing, but looking back, I wish I'd included them.
This kinda hit home a bit. Being a month shy of turning 21, I'm really feeling the tone of this.
tl;dr growing up sucks. I miss my friends.