It was nearly two whole years since Twilight Sparkle had come to the human world from Equestria, defeated Sunset, and returned to her home world in a matter of days. Sunset had changed since then, and had tried to fix everything she could. She'd befriended the Elements of Harmony, and apologized to Rarity for the Spring Fling incidents. Still, she felt she owed a better apology and thank you to Twilight for helping her escape her cruelness. This story is about Sunset Shimmer's actions if she ever returned to Equestria. Will she apologize and move on? Or will she return to her cruel, greedy ways and try once again to take over Equestria?
This is my very first fanfic and I got the idea from glidergirl's Thirty Moons Later... I just decided that I wanted to write about Sunset Shimmer and here I am. Feel free to dislike if you want, I am not expecting too many likes. I may be writing more fanfics like this, (Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Applejack, Rarity versions) so you might as well get used to my stories. Since the whole reason why I'm writing this is because of glidergirl's fanfic, I will not be writing a Pinkie Pie version. Post comments, give me feedback, and I shall pray to Celestia that I don't get my dreams of a writing career crushed.
Sidenote: No Sunlight (or Sunset Sparkle, whatever you people like) shipping found here. Sorry
Side-sidenote: Help me with this fic and give me advice here.
Well, that was good, but it kind of rushed through things. For instance, when sunset realized the portal was open, the pacing was horrible. 'It was open.' Really? Thats it? That could have been a really dramatic, nearly life-changing moment, but no. Just 'it was open.' I'm going to follow this fic to see where it goes, but try to make chapters just a little longer. Go into detail!
Have you read any of the comics, like The Fall of Sunset Shimmer?
3441226 no but I might now that you tell me this might sound pretty dumb but where can I find them?
3441132 thanks for the advice I've actually written a few stories for school assignments and they were pretty detailed but this is the first time I've worked with characters that I didn't create personally. Maybe that's part of the problem
3441321
Some links to an EQD post regarding it... the links to the comic there are rather dark, but it's probably the most complete collection of the pages. There used to be an animated reading of it plus Sunset's dissolution of "The Five," but it appears to have been taken down.
I saw your thread about proof readers on looking for editors; honesty, I was surprised by how much I liked it, I didn't care for the language (I really hate curse words) but other than that great job. I wish there was more to read. Will you do another chapter? It's really hard to criticize this story. I think if you put a little more into the class it might be... Better, put more detail into all of it in general, espicially when she's getting accustomed to her body. You should make her thinking about going back to equestria more of a conflict, she shouldn't, or maybe it's a bad idea, or wondering why should would want to go. And make the decision harder so it takes longer to actually go to equestria. All in all, loved it, better than I could do and great job.
4640444 Thanks so much for the uh… feedback? No really I'm glad someone enjoyed it, I'm trying to figure out what the main conflict would be, and am thinking about making it an AU story. This was my very first, and I've got so much to do with it. if i were you i would keep following this story; I'm definitely adding to it, hopefully sooner than later.
4654288 great! You hd a great opener so the conflict could be a wide range of things. May I suggest something? Now that she is in equestria, Celestia should have a huge problem with that, she gave sunset a Chance an then she abused it. He should try to make sunset shimmer go back, but then have Twilight defend her. Then Celestia would really be in a pickle, she needs I get rid of sunset, but doesn't want to hurt Twilight. Now sunset has to desperately try to redeem herself, and she feels like she's being pulled in to two different directions between Twilight and Celestia. And Twilight is now feeling the pressure as she has to fight against her former mentor to defend Sunset. All three of them then have a chance for character development. Also, this may be a chep cop out, but killing someone always makes things more interesting. :)
4654351 Love it!! I'll be sure to credit you for that awesome idea!
4654378 aww shucks, I'm glad you liked it. That's so nice of you to credit me, but you don't have to. I was just trying to be helpful. I hope the story goes well though. I won't be mad if you scratch my idea. Again, don't feel like its a nessecity to credit me, if course I would love the credit, but it's your story. :)
4654405 Well I'll credit if i use that idea
4654553 yay! :)
i really like this story hope to read more soon